Fully bashed

Lisa turned up to Sid’s house, fully bashed. If I were Sid I would have set Sasha “Killer” Walker on Lisa’s husband. All Lisa got was a chat from Sasha; she’s very wise.

Sasha went a bit mad ¬†with jealousy when she heard about Casey’s imaginary friend, Tamara. I’m not so sure she was imaginary. However, her jealousy was explained when she confessed to Natalie that she might be pregnant! That’s right, in the grand old tradition of Summer Bay teenage pregnancies, following in the footsteps of Roo, Sophie, Angel, Chloe, Tasha, Kirsty, Cassie and Nicole, Sasha is up the duff. Hurray for another River Baby.

Oi.

Blink and you’ll miss it

Well, in the grand old tradition of leaving Summer Bay and never looking back, Lottie is off into the wide blue yonder, aka The City. She made the decision in a heartbeat, and was gone just as quick. Sasha wasn’t even informed. Pity, because Lottie was a good character – I don’t think they’ve ever had a lady Dex before.

Speaking of Dex, he and April made their own hurried decision: to move in together. They had no place to take it to the next level in private, so it’s off to the caravan park with them. Or they could have Martha’s old flat. Or the palace. Or Nicole’s house.

Brax “he’s a dog” Braxton finally fell prey to the lady counsellor’s charms. I cannot remember her name, nor believe that he put up with her constant questions. Sergeant Buckton must be spinning in her grave (but not changing her facial expression).

In real-life H&A news, Steve Peacocke aka Darryl Brax Braxton will be appearing at a nightclub in Maynooth in December. It’s true. Expect: leaning on things, saying “oi”, and calling people dogs.

Give me another chance

Ruby and Romeo had a beech side chat about things. They discussed this and that, failed relationship and non-existant pregnancies. She asked for another chance and Romeo said no. Not surprising really, when you’re girlfriend lies to you about something like that. Now that Romeo has cleared up that mess, the way is clear for an Rindi revival, or is it?

Enter the rockstar. Liam and Indi seem to be hitting it off recently. Let’s remember that he likes the younger ladies, see Belle and Nicole. I fear that a Rindi revival might be preempted by a Lindi liason.

Da Brax asked Marilyn out on a date and she said yes, which was pretty strange. Leah was as surprised as I was that she agreed to it. Anyway, poor Maz was just being used as an alibi so Da Brax could deny any involvement in Brax getting bashed. He got kidnapped outside Angelo’s and dumped in the bush. Maybe it’s time Darryl learns that you live by the bash, you could die by the bash.

Selina Roberts

Selina arrived in the bay with a bad attitude and a bad mother. She ditched them both and changed her ways to become a shining light of goodness by the time she left. She moved in with Irene and liked it so much that she even adopted her name.

Selina met a boy called Jesse. He was a bit of a bad boy but that wasn’t a problem for Selina. Selina was a great one for leading fellas up the stairs by the hand in Irene’s house which usually meant that they were about to take it to the next level. That happened quite a few times. She pioneered that move but many others have taken up that torch since then, including Gypsy, Martha and Nicole.

As well as dating Jessie, she also went out with Jack Wilson. Jack, like Selina, was a bit of a tearaway but had a good heart, don’t they all? Selina also had a fling with Damian, Irene’s son, which led to a teen pregnancy. She miscarried in the school which was pretty traumatic event for her.

She had many advertures during her time in the bay, which included joining a cult led by Saul. Saul had a powerful effect on Selina and became a bit obsessed with her. She overcame his brainwashing after her friends intervened but that wasn’t enough for Saul and he kidnapped her not once, not twice but three times. Persistance sometimes pays off but not in this case, he got shot to bits by the cops.

Selina had a thing for Stephen Matheson, one of the original cast members who made a return as an adult. This would have been fine except for the fact that he was Selina’s teacher. The broke off their illicit affair and he left town but she still harboured feelings for him when she was going out with Jesse. When she bumped into Stevo again, she couldn’t deny her feelings for him. They agreed to get married and managed to go through with it at the second attempt, the first was a non-starter what with all the kidnapping and shooting. The course of true love never did run smooth.