Speedy Gonzales!

Jaysus. All of a sudden it’s Bianca and Vittorio’s wedding day! Here’s what happened:

  • Bianca’s makeup was shocking, like Lily drew it on with a crayon. Also she was a weird colour.
  • Liam showed up looking extremely unkempt.
  • Bianca jilted Vittorio at the altar and went off with Liam on his motorbike. Not surprising.
  • Romeo, in an uncharacteristic move, punched Vittorio for no reason.
  • Alf gave Vittorio “sling yer hook” eyes.
  • Everyone started clapping! No sympathy for the Prince.
  • Gina and John saved the day by getting married instead. Eh, don’t you need paperwork down unda? And WHAT ABOUT BANDICOOT?
  • Ruby fell in love with Romeo when she spied him kissing Indi. She is a nutter.
  • There were some class shapes thrown at the wedding. Special mentions go to Veej and John.
  • Joanna made April go back to Europe with her.
  • Nicole confessed to Marilyn that she’s pregnant. Who’re ya having it for? Penn! Oooooh!
  • Robert of the House of Robertson rocked up to the wedding and arrested Alf.
  • Will stormed off very guiltily.
  • Sid looked confused.
  • Alf looked stoic.

Was that the most dramatic episode of all time?

Buck(ton)’s night

That must have been the tamest buck’s night of all time.  Vittorio hit the hotspots with Alf, Palmer and Doctor Sid.  Wild.  Then they ran into Irene and Joanna.  While Sid was pulling some smooth shapes on the dancefloor, Irene and Alf had a good oul’ chinwag about what eejits Joanna and Vittorio are.

Meanwhile, at the “informal”, the atmosphere was electric, for a number of reasons.  Bianca and Liam succumbed to the inevitable and had a smooch.  Ruby, while grounded, snuck out and was caught by Charlie at the dance.  Charlie went MENTAL.  Ruby is seriously in the bad books, and Angelo’s not far behind I’d say.  At least the restaurant didn’t get wrecked by all the wayward teens knocking about.

Ruby seems to be falling in love with every dude in sight these days.  I don’t know where the Jackson storyline is going at all, at all.

Finally. Nicole was the winner on the fashion front; her hair was super.  Bianca’s top was pox.

It’s gonna take a lot to drag me away from you

I watched an episode of South Park last night, in which Cartman and a few pals went off to Somalia to be pirates.  Sounds like Veej was watching it too.  He and Lily are planning on running off to Africa.  I’d love to know their travel plans.  Do Aussie airlines let pre-teens fly on their own?  Wait till you see how flustered Leah will be when Veej goes missing.  She can’t even handle a busy diner.  Will will probably tear Irene’s house down, brick by brick.

Joanna, ma of Bianca and April, warned Liam Murphy off her elder daughter.  Surely that’s just a challenge to the Summer Bay Rockstar?  And another thing, what happened to Liam’s house?

Gina told Xave and John about the plan to send the money to Hugo and Dumbo.  JP knows a lot about money laundering for a daycent Aussie businessman.  By the by, how come Xavier didn’t spend any of the money?  Not even to buy parts for his fixie car?

Mamma Mia!

Oh look at Bianca and April’s ma!  She’s improbably young.  Liam had quite the glint in his eye when he met her.  Nice ruse by April by the way, get Liam over for “guitar lessons” in the hopes that he and Bianca will fall for each other again.  Mammy Joanna is on Team Prince Vittorio though.

Marilyn is putting her affairs in order before she croaks it, what with her end date coming up.  She gave Romeo and Indy five big ones so that they can have their formal AKA debs in Angelo’s.  I smell a disaster; they’re gonna wreck the gaff.  Sid must be going mental humouring Marilyn – she does something mad in every episode.