One last surf

One last surf

Well, that was amazing. In one episode, Connie came around, handed Darcy over to ┬áHeath, Bianca showed up, and they all disappeared off to The City, never to be seen again. It was like an Irish wake in Famine times. “When will I see you again?”, “Ah sure, I don’t know”. I’m fairly sure The City is not that far away.

Ricky showed her true colours as a Home and Away aficionado when she used a theme song lyric to berate Connie, “you know they belong together”. Her guilt trip worked wonders, and Connie agreed that the Heathcliff Braxton family would be better as one household.

The Boyz went for ONE LAST SURF. Kyle was hanging back, leaving the original crew to it, until Brax muttered “You coming or what?”. They all had a topless pow-wow on the beach, then Brax, Heath and Casey went for a surf. Why did Kyle get topless if he wasn’t even going to swim? And it looked like The Boyz were only body-boarding anyway, he could’ve managed that.

Go in the effing sea, at least
Go in the effing sea, at least

Back at the gaff, Phoebe stood up to Chezza, who just shrugged. Harley wore an amazing hat for his final scenes.

HARLEYHAT
HARLEYHAT

Now that the Braxton numbers have been decimated, Brax has reluctantly agreed to have a baby with Ricky. He needs more troops to continue his reign of the Bay. He’ll be the next Alfred Stewart in no time.

Family meeting

Brax called a family meeting and then proceeded to tell the gang that there was no point to the meeting, he just wanted to see them all and get a progress report. It wasn’t quite what they were all expecting, these things normally involve assassination attempts or somebody being sent to jail. Brax is worried about the boys and wants to have more input from them, some involvement in their lives. He even volunteered to babysit Harley. They had a massive barbie in the garden, looked like a great time, complete with crap music and burnt snags. Brax seemed disappointed that there’s no drama with his bros. Be careful what you wish for Darryl.

Phoebe is still worried about the shooting as she doesn’t know that her Dad was behind it. Brax told Kyle to fess up and tell her the truth which he had to do eventually, she was suitably gob smacked when she found out her Dad is a dog.

Denny is having second thoughts about Chris. He pales in comparison to Casey in her eyes. Hannah asked her whats going on and she told her that she’s going off him, she finds him a bit annoying now. Chris tried to call over to Denny’s but she was having a girl’s night.

Spencer confronted Evelyn about her having the hots for Josh but she wasn’t impressed. Maddie copped on too and told Josh so it won’t be long before Evelyn finds out that everyone else knows. Cue Josh calling over and telling her he knows but she denied it and said it was all in Spencer’s head.

Braxton punch count: 0
Harley hat count: 1

Bye bye Braxton

Why aren’t Heath and Andy better mates? They’re both dum and have dodgy pasts, and are currently trying to reform themselves for their partners.

Oscar is cured after a talk with Andy, he told him to get over it and he has. Hannah tricked Andy into giving Oscar a pep talk, which he did but he wasn’t happy with the position she put him in so he broke it off with her. What is he at?

Bianca and Heath are about to leave town due to her transfer, only one problem, Heath doesn’t know about it yet. She told him she was going to turn it down but he told her not to, that’s them done.

Nate isn’t getting on with his wife Sophie. It turns out that they met when he saved her from a car accident, is that ethical practice for a doctor? They had a showdown in her school office which rapidly turned into a steamy sex session. Maybe she can’t resist his accent?

Braxton punch count: 0
Braxton “dog” count: 0

The S Word

Eh, hello? Is this Home and Away or Fifty Shades of Grey? Did yis hear Andy Barrett boasting about the “amazing sex” he’s having with Hannah? I only wish Alf had been there to hear him.

Pheebs is back, despite Daddy Bigbuck’s best efforts. Coincidentally, the Braxton gaff was wrecked by an unknown and very speedy chap. Kyle gave chase, but ended up on the road in a bloody, bashed, bundle. He did get a good long look at his assailant though.

The other Braxton bros went for a surf.

Blood and sand x 3
Blood and sand x 3

Bianca is still whinging over getting back with Heath and accepting Harley.

Zac and Hannah have agreed to keep their relationship business-like. That is the maddest family ever. Aunt from one side, uncle from the other, and two teenage children. Not to mention the aunt and uncle had a dalliance until Andy “amazing sex” Barrett entered the picture.