A day on the Home and Away set

Thursday, May 19th, 2011

Two friends of ours (the handsome Saul and a beautiful unnamed lady) went to real-life Summer Bay, and here are the results.  Click the photos to see them full-size!

Meanwhile, on telly H&A, Nicole had her baby and wants to keep it. It’s heartbreaking really. She’s a good wee actor, that one. Also, Indy was wearing MC Hammer pants and has a stalker.

I’m sorry, I’m driving through a tunnel, goodbye Dex.

 

 

 

Banjo-playing backwater

Wednesday, February 23rd, 2011

Well, Alf is out and he’s ready for a scrap.  He’s raging against the changes made to the surf club in his absence by the original JP.  Personally, I don’t think they’re too outrageous.  Paying for parking after four hours is fair enough.  How could you spend four solid hours in the surf club anyway?

Despite his new-found vigour, Alf has also emerged as the most forgiving man in all Australia.  First he had a chinwag to Irene, who was ready to see him locked away for life.  Then he hightailed it down to the cop shop for a tete-a-tete with Will, even convincing him to speak to Lilly before he went down.

Will turned out to be a bit of a tragic figure.  He’s off to jail and for a long time, be the sound of it.  I’m living for the day when Gypsy shows up.

Lilly seemed happy enough with her da’s explanation of what happened.  So much so that she gave Veej his first kiss.  Cute!

Morag and Colleen deserve their own spin-off show.  Their repartee is delicious.

Revelations

Tuesday, February 22nd, 2011

The truth is revealed!  At last we know whodunit.  Will finished Penn off with Alf’s knife.  Daria/Shandi knew the story and was there while it happened.

Alf is in the clear now and Will’s going away for a long time unless he can convince the court it was self defence. He’ll be banged up in the big house.

Who’ll take care of Lilly now?  She should go back to her mother Gypsy but I wouldn’t be surprised if Irene tried to keep her.

I’m glad that’s over with.  Penn was a pain in the hole.  Will did us all a favour by stabbing him. But the inquest has dragged on for bleedin’ ages.  Is it time that Det Robert Robertson fecked off now?

Handy Shandi

Tuesday, February 15th, 2011

So, who was Shandi? Oooooh. She must have been some killer spy type. Or maybe she was Penn’s sister, swooping in from the city to exact revenge. Or a jilted lover. Or another mental case. But…why is Will protecting her? Strange, very strange. In any case, Alf is screwed unless Will comes back and tells all.

April is moving back in with Irene. She didn’t seem to ask Irene first, but, stuff it, she won’t mind.

Rene Lisle

Monday, February 14th, 2011

What was all that about? Will brought Morag out to a dark wood, took her phone, told her Alf didn’t kill Penn, and then drove off. It’s a brave/stupid man who abandons Justice Bellingham to the elements.

So, what’s going on? Who killed Penn? Who is Will covering for? Sure he doesn’t know anyone in the Bay apart from Irene…maybe Irene did it!

April is back from “Europe” and something is amiss. She doesn’t care that Xavier was kissing another girl, and she’s getting emails from someone called René Lisle. It’d be better if she were getting emails from René “Ménage” Artois.

Sid and Marilyn are gonna adopt Nicole’s baby. Well, Sid wants a different child, but we all know Marilyn will out. How will they like it, though, when Nicole keeps the chisler all to herself as inevitably happens in moralistic Summer Bay?

You’re dead to me

Saturday, February 5th, 2011

Sing hallelujah, Marilyn lives! And she is a changed woman. She saw no hint of the afterlife when she was “dead”, so she’s throwing caution to the wind and even eating hospital food. Unfortunately for her, however, Colleen already watched her deathtape in which Marilyn confessed she and Lancie replaced Colleen’s mother’s ashes with dog remains. Colleen was ripping. Hilarity ensued.

Ooh RR finally got some info out of Will; he reckons that Alf killed Penn, having seen him covered in blood in the wee hours of the morning. High drama!

The childsnatcher

Thursday, January 27th, 2011

They’re driving on your highways, they’re snatching your children up.

Poor Leah and Will freaked out because Lilly and VJ tried to run away to Africa. They needed a bit of help on the way as they couldn’t walk to the airport.  Luckily/unluckily, Gary the friendly paedo was on hand in his battered red car to give them a lift.  Unfortunately for him, Robert Robertson decided it was good police practice to ignore his ongoing murder case and switch attention to the missing children.  Cue a high speed chase, Robert’s on the case.

Meanwhile, the kids have legged it and Gary got a grilling. Robert managed to find them hiding down the back of a garage. All that was wrong with them was an empty stomach. All’s well that ends well and all that.

It’s gonna take a lot to drag me away from you

Wednesday, January 26th, 2011

I watched an episode of South Park last night, in which Cartman and a few pals went off to Somalia to be pirates.  Sounds like Veej was watching it too.  He and Lily are planning on running off to Africa.  I’d love to know their travel plans.  Do Aussie airlines let pre-teens fly on their own?  Wait till you see how flustered Leah will be when Veej goes missing.  She can’t even handle a busy diner.  Will will probably tear Irene’s house down, brick by brick.

Joanna, ma of Bianca and April, warned Liam Murphy off her elder daughter.  Surely that’s just a challenge to the Summer Bay Rockstar?  And another thing, what happened to Liam’s house?

Gina told Xave and John about the plan to send the money to Hugo and Dumbo.  JP knows a lot about money laundering for a daycent Aussie businessman.  By the by, how come Xavier didn’t spend any of the money?  Not even to buy parts for his fixie car?

Irene advises Will

Monday, January 24th, 2011

“You made mistakes, big deal, you’re not Robinson Crusoe”. What? Can anyone explain what Irene was on about?

Will smash!

Saturday, January 22nd, 2011

That wasn’t a very good day for Will, now was it?  First he got some bad news in a letter so he went home to drown his sorrows with a few beers. Next Alf came around and gave him the sack.  Business is bad down the bait shop. Then Will rang Gypsy but she refused to talk to him or let him explain.

That was the straw that broke the camel’s back. Will lost the plot and wrecked the gaff. Poor Irene and Lilly came home to find him smashing the place up.  The funniest part was watching him try to pull a piece of the worktop apart but he had to give up as it wasn’t moving.  Sad but funny at the same time.  Poor Will. Gawd save Ireland, Irene will have some clean up job, in more ways than one.

bring back miles
Original image from This is Oz



all the dead


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