Home and Away Ireland » VJ

New beginnings?

Flathead — Tue, 17 Jan 2012 19:19:59 +0000

I’m surprised to see that nobody bothered cleaning Liam’s face while he was in a coma, it’s still covered in red crap, maybe some old jam? Bianca doesn’t seem to have noticed despite spending all day every day by his bedside.

April reckons her sister’s rediscovered her love for Liam, is it guilt or something more? April was unimpressed when she found out Bianca slept with Heath yet again. Maybe she’ll move in there now Bianca has moved on.

When Heath called over later, Bianca gave him the heave-ho, “don’t come around here no more”, she said. Heath decided to get his own back by getting locked and sleeping rough on the beach. That’ll show her.

Leah told Charlie that VJ had run away, her response, “that isn’t good”. Brilliant. She’s a genius. There’s a manhunt for Veej underway. He phoned Miles to say he can look after himself. Maybe he’ll head to the bush and be the new Crocodile Dundee.

Constable Watson suspects that Charlie is back on the Brax. Who’ll win that battle of wits? Watson is wiley and Charlie is pretty dim, I expect the cop to cop-on to the ex-cop’s cock-up.

All out war

Flathead — Thu, 20 Oct 2011 19:38:12 +0000

Hammer will be annoyed that he missed all of the fun and games in the surf club. He was stuck on a back road getting his car searched by Constable Watson while it was all going down. Heath, Brax and all the rest of the boys took on some very old looking members of Jake’s crew. They should have had mercy on them, they must be some losers if they’re still hanging around the surf club, playing at gang stuff at their age.

Sasha turned up at the hospital after Sid cancelled on her. She has something of Indi about her with her constant pouting and sarcastic jibes. Sid took her in giving us another troublesome teen to throw into the mix, just what the Bay needs. They’ll need to add some more young characters for her to hang around with, is she too old for VJ to have a crush on?

Duffed

Ailsa — Thu, 29 Sep 2011 18:29:45 +0000

So Leah is knocked up. This is bad news for her for a number of reasons:

She will now be super-duper flustered for at least nine months / however long a pregnancy lasts in Summer Bay
The child will probably be as hungry as its father, which means she’ll be bankrupt before the bub is one
Veej will no doubt have a mickey fit

Romeo’s boat got trashed, so he went off half-cocked, accusing Harvey,a fellow entrepreneur from a neighbouring berth, of doing it in an attempt to sabotage his business. He even phoned the cops. However, it turned out one of the boys at Elijah’s shelter did the nicking. Cue shame-faced Romeo trying to make it up with Harvey. Too late, Smith, for Harvey already reported the Blaxland for not having a mooring licence. But surely Alf can use his influence with the council to get one? No?

Sid and Roo and Indi and Dexter are all best buds now, after doing a bit of farm maintenance. Except this happy family to be rocked by the arrival of Sid’s ex, who Dex invited over.

All aboard

Flathead — Wed, 21 Sep 2011 21:15:40 +0000

Cast off Captain. Sid decided to take Roo off on a romantic cruise. Good plan old man, only for one factor. Captain Romeo decided to bring his wife along, who hates Roo and is pissed off with her dad. Not so relaxing and romantic after all. Did you notice the crew wearing their formal attire? White vests.

Nice to see Heath get his comeuppance. Caught red-handed running from the cops with a bag full of drugs. About time. Only so far a brain-dead fool like him can get away with it. Hope they lock him away for a long time. Will it be Casey’s turn to take over the River boys now? Maybe he’ll be passed over and they’ll go for somebody younger. How about VJ? He could get the blood and sand tattoo.

A plague on all your houses

Flathead — Tue, 26 Jul 2011 18:12:26 +0000

I’m sick of all of the Braxtons. They are a curse on the bay. They should eff off back to Mangrove River and never darken the diner again. Mrs Braxton is a pain in the hole, Heath a lecherous moron, Brax a manipulative liar, only Casey has any redeeming qualities. They’re not even bad enough to be proper villians, just annoying more than threatening.

Now Brax’s ex has turned up at the request of Ma Brax. No doubt she’ll cause trouble between him and Charlie, who didn’t look too impressed when the ex arrived into Angelo’s. Her mission will be threefold:

To stop Brax getting notions above his station
Find out who his secret girlfriend is
Break them up

I predict failure in each task.

Miles had to give Veej “the talk”. Didn’t go that well, Veej wasn’t interested. He should have just sat him down and explained that when you’re ready, you can “take it to the next level” with your girlfriend. Leah seems in denial about the fact that Veej is growing up. If the V-man could see him now, he’d be so proud. I’m sure he is watching, sitting up in heaven, looking down, wearing a bear suit and performing hand stands.

It started with a kiss

Flathead — Thu, 24 Mar 2011 20:12:49 +0000

Brax really should start listening to some Liam Murphy song lyrics. If he did then he would learn that kisses hurt so much. Then he wouldn’t have tried to kiss Charlie, now the pain of that stolen kiss will cost him a night in the clink. Dum Brax.

Roobs is pissed off too. Her night of illicit love with Romeo has plunged her into a self destructive spiral. She hospitalised herself with her insulin and then went into a mad sulk. She reckons Romeo took advantage of her and she wants revenge. No doubt Indy will learn the truth before long. Romeo will live to rue his lusty loins.

Did you hear VJ telling Thabo who his favourite football team are? He said Juventus but pronounced it JEWventus. Doesn’t sound like the writers know that much about the subject. Veej reckons everybody wants to play for them, maybe that was true in 1996 but far from reality today.

Simple kid

Flathead — Wed, 09 Mar 2011 20:31:47 +0000

What’s up with April? She decided to break up with Xavier despite that fact that Gina gave them the all clear to continue their relationship. I think she only did it because she felt guilty over nearly killing him.

Poor Xav didn’t know if he was coming or going. He’s not the sharpest tool in the box and went surfing in a rage. Unfortunately, he managed to anger the river boys who were also down the beach. It nearly turned into a row but lifeguard Romeo was on hand to calm things down. But while he was preoccupied with stopping WWIII, little VJ ended up half drowned. Xavier and Romeo will never forgive themselves if he doesn’t pull through.

RR knocked back

Ailsa — Mon, 28 Feb 2011 20:18:30 +0000

Young Robert Robertson certainly pulls no punches when it comes to making romantic advances. He suggested to Leah that they move to the city together, taking Veej and becoming an all-round happy family. She said no thanks, however, as she’s still hung up on Elijah the Massive. I hope this doesn’t mean RR will feck off into the wide blue yonder.

Xavier looked up “How to make a bomb” on the school computers. The school IT guys who no-one ever sees found out. They are very thorough in their work. Anyway Gina told Xavier the cops were on to him, so he went home and poured the bomb ingredients down the sink. This caused both him and April to pass out while noxious gases snaked their way around Irene’s gaff. Gawd save Ireland, I hope it doesn’t blow up.

Banjo-playing backwater

Ailsa — Wed, 23 Feb 2011 19:23:58 +0000

Well, Alf is out and he’s ready for a scrap. He’s raging against the changes made to the surf club in his absence by the original JP. Personally, I don’t think they’re too outrageous. Paying for parking after four hours is fair enough. How could you spend four solid hours in the surf club anyway?

Despite his new-found vigour, Alf has also emerged as the most forgiving man in all Australia. First he had a chinwag to Irene, who was ready to see him locked away for life. Then he hightailed it down to the cop shop for a tete-a-tete with Will, even convincing him to speak to Lilly before he went down.

Will turned out to be a bit of a tragic figure. He’s off to jail and for a long time, be the sound of it. I’m living for the day when Gypsy shows up.

Lilly seemed happy enough with her da’s explanation of what happened. So much so that she gave Veej his first kiss. Cute!

Morag and Colleen deserve their own spin-off show. Their repartee is delicious.

Speedy Gonzales!

Ailsa — Mon, 07 Feb 2011 18:56:40 +0000

Jaysus. All of a sudden it’s Bianca and Vittorio’s wedding day! Here’s what happened:

Bianca’s makeup was shocking, like Lily drew it on with a crayon. Also she was a weird colour.
Liam showed up looking extremely unkempt.
Bianca jilted Vittorio at the altar and went off with Liam on his motorbike. Not surprising.
Romeo, in an uncharacteristic move, punched Vittorio for no reason.
Alf gave Vittorio “sling yer hook” eyes.
Everyone started clapping! No sympathy for the Prince.
Gina and John saved the day by getting married instead. Eh, don’t you need paperwork down unda? And WHAT ABOUT BANDICOOT?
Ruby fell in love with Romeo when she spied him kissing Indi. She is a nutter.
There were some class shapes thrown at the wedding. Special mentions go to Veej and John.
Joanna made April go back to Europe with her.
Nicole confessed to Marilyn that she’s pregnant. Who’re ya having it for? Penn! Oooooh!
Robert of the House of Robertson rocked up to the wedding and arrested Alf.
Will stormed off very guiltily.
Sid looked confused.
Alf looked stoic.

Was that the most dramatic episode of all time?

The childsnatcher

Flathead — Thu, 27 Jan 2011 18:50:25 +0000

They’re driving on your highways, they’re snatching your children up.

Poor Leah and Will freaked out because Lilly and VJ tried to run away to Africa. They needed a bit of help on the way as they couldn’t walk to the airport. Luckily/unluckily, Gary the friendly paedo was on hand in his battered red car to give them a lift. Unfortunately for him, Robert Robertson decided it was good police practice to ignore his ongoing murder case and switch attention to the missing children. Cue a high speed chase, Robert’s on the case.

Meanwhile, the kids have legged it and Gary got a grilling. Robert managed to find them hiding down the back of a garage. All that was wrong with them was an empty stomach. All’s well that ends well and all that.

Fluff

Flathead — Mon, 25 Oct 2010 18:28:58 +0000

It’s amazing how they fill episodes of Home and Away sometimes. That one was full of Leah flustering about whether she and Elijah would hit it off in Africa, and VJ worrying about her calling off the trip. We had Leah talking to Miles, VJ talking to Miles, Miles talking to Leah about VJ’s worries, and Miles finally resassuring VJ that all would be well. So the upshot is, they’re still going to Africa. Phew. It’d be great if they did some off-location episodes.

Mitzi kissed Dexter, supposedly to show him what it’s like being the subject of unwanted advances. Yeah right Mitzi. Sid is none too impressed, and rightly so.

April has discovered a super eco Swedish bus scheme and wants Palmer to set it up in Summer Bay. Palmer looked interested in its money-making potential. Colleen would probably be interested too if it kept the apocalypse-predicting lunatic from Mangrove River away.

Cat show at Mangrove River

Ailsa — Mon, 11 Oct 2010 18:43:23 +0000

So, Miles told Leah ’twas him who helped Veej write to Elijah. Leah went mental, then calmed down and called around to the caravan park with a confession. She’s been writing to Elijah every day since he left. Where in the name of God did she get the time to do that? No wonder she’s so flustered.

All this talk of Elijah makes me think he might be coming back. Normally when someone leaves the Bay, they’re never/rarely heard of again. For example, Dani, Jade, Kirsty, Cassie, Rhys, Shelly, Tasha, Geoff, Robbie, and the list goes on.

In another unusual H&A move, no-one has found out about Hugo’s money. Well, Charlie knows, but it’s not public knowledge. What’s that about? Anyway well done to the writers for not following their usual path!

Elijah exits

Flathead — Thu, 02 Sep 2010 18:05:32 +0000

As per usual in Summer Bay, a life changing decision is made in the blink of an eye. Elijah woke up and was looking forward to his wedding to Leah. By that same evening he was on his way to a disaster zone in Africa.

Poor Leah. Yet again a fella leaves her. She really is unlucky in love. Two dead husbands, one broken engagement and a son who doesn’t know if he’s human or veejtable. No doubt she’ll bounce back and will have a new suitor in a week or two.

It’s a date!

Ailsa — Wed, 23 Jun 2010 20:10:20 +0000

Hmm, not sure what to make of Alf and Marilyn going on a date. Although, they would be a humorous couple. Marilyn could get into scrapes and Alf could grumble about “that flamin’ woman”.

Marilyn does like an older man, too. But it might be a bit weird seeing as Flathead and Alf are best buds.

What about Elijah’s ma? She’s a proper wagon, and the da is totally henpecked. Poor Leah. Sure she’s skin and bone as it is. Dunno how she managed to give birth to VJ at all.

Edit: I forgot to mention the Hugo storyline, maybe because it’s COMPLETELY BORING. Anyway there’s a new cop in town, he killed the kidnapper with the weird accent, and now he’s after Hugo. Snoooooooooze.

Sob

Ailsa — Fri, 30 Apr 2010 18:02:45 +0000

Ah here. H&A is way too sad these days. First was the whole Miles/Rabbit scenario, and now today Leah and VJ visited Vinnie’s grave to say goodbye. That’s enough sadness now, I thought.

Elijah didn’t think so, though. He threw in a tragic story about his dad dying on a fishing trip. I’m not able for this.

Aden’s stupid brother had a flashback and now thinks he killed their da. It looks to me like the dad was drink-driving and had a crash. If only they hadn’t buried him, they’d be ok with the cops.

Romeo set up a romantic date with Annie in the gym. Possibly inspired by Ruby’s seduction of Geoff using fairy lights, he lit a load of candles. The Campbells are suckers for small light sources.

Summer Bay Superpowers

Ailsa — Tue, 09 Mar 2010 14:44:26 +0000

Building on the bonza idea that Drew’s Shrew had about a cross-over Home and Away/Heroes show, commenter Sorry for being a crazy dingo has given us a deadly list of Home and Away character super-powers:

ALF – grows gills when he jumps in the water and swims underwater, like a fish which is kind of ironic.
COLLEEN – able to speak any language at will and talk to animals, that means she can gossip with anyone or anything.
MILES – the ability to eat food without ever getting full. (Sounds like a crappy superpower, but in later seasons he will discover he has a psychic conscience named Rabbit).
NICOLE – the ability to attract any person at will with her beauty.
JAI – the ability to be invincible.
IRENE – the ability to attract troubled children into her lair.
ANGELO – the ability to cause amnesia to others (everyone, including Martha, seems to have forgiven him for killing Jack and covering up the murder).
CHARLIE – the ability to change sexuality at will.
RUBY – the ability to screech so loud, it causes one’s ears to bleed.
GINA – the ability to convince people that she’s actually Tony’s sister and not his grandmother.
XAVIER – the same ability as Ruby.
MARTHA – the ability to never grieve and be constantly sexually promiscuous.
LIAM – the ability to be completely forgotten about only few months after being an Australian megastar.
ADEN – the same ability as Martha.
LEAH – the ability to be as sexy as Penelope Cruz but no-one in town appearing to notice.mink
RACHEL – the ability to heal, in all areas of medicine.
TONY – the ability of super strength.
ROMEO – the ability to to…eh…surf…REALLY REALLY WELL. (That one sucked).
MINK – the ability to stare at someone and kill them. What a bad ass!
VJ – the ability to shoot water bombs from his hands.
MORAG – the ability to be the best lawyer ever.
RABBIT – the ability to rise from the dead, be psychic and make herself invisible to all but Miles.

What do you reckon? Do you have any others to add?

Changed the Bay FOREVER

Ailsa — Thu, 11 Feb 2010 23:29:11 +0000

Ha, that was gas. A documentary within a soap. Who was the hard-bitten and slightly dashing journo who landed in Summer Bay in the aftermath of THE RIOT? His boss was fairly bossy. I thought his first cut of the doco (they must be called docos in Oz?) was grand.

Anyway, apparently the Bay is now forever changed because a few residents are pissed off due to the riots and the torching of the diner. I dare say they’ll be over it in a few episodes. That’s the way things are done down Summer Bay way. Or will that be the change? That the SB time warp has been perpetually altered and now trauma recovery times, pregnancies and marriages will actually be a decent length?

Alf Stewart is Summer Bay. That’s what the journo said. He worked hard to get Alf’s slant on things and by Irwin did he get it. Alf let rip, condemning flamin’ hoons and admitting that his trust in his fellow Aussies had been dashed.

Leah’s in bits too. Ok, her fella was bashed and her workplace destroyed but she seems to have lost the will to live. Maybe she’s just missing Veej.

Awwww friends

Back with a bang

Flathead — Mon, 11 Jan 2010 19:31:44 +0000

So the winter freeze is over and Home and Away returned to our screens with much ado about something. A number of things grabbed my attention and beg further inquiry.

1) Was the cameraman pissed or trying to do an MTV audition? It was all over the place today. Mad close ups and wobbly shots for no reason.

2) Miles is back to his Derro look that he perfected a few years back. It was pretty harsh to see him get a bashing when he was fooled by the towel over the head trick. He’ll be embarrassed when he realises he was battered by a bunch of chislers.

3) It seems the recession has finally hit Australia. SB super bods is struggling and Tony has put it down to people not renewing with the economic crisis. What’s next? 2 for 1 muffin offer in the diner?

4) Charlie was even more annoying than usual today. Ruby should tell her to rack off.

Poor Veej

Ailsa — Mon, 21 Dec 2009 10:38:19 +0000

Well Veej went off the rails in the last episode; he pegged a water balloon at Miles’s car. Leah rightly pointed out that it wasn’t even an original act – Brendan “The Bandicoot” Austin had started the trend when he blinded Roman with a rock and a catapult. The real issue here, though, is that Veej is getting battered at school. Wait till Leah goes all flustered on their asses – they’ll be sorry.