Hmm, not sure what to make of Alf and Marilyn going on a date.  Although, they would be a humorous couple.  Marilyn could get into scrapes and Alf could grumble about “that flamin’ woman”.

Marilyn does like an older man, too.  But it might be a bit weird seeing as Flathead and Alf are best buds.

What about Elijah’s ma?  She’s a proper wagon, and the da is totally henpecked.  Poor Leah.  Sure she’s skin and bone as it is.  Dunno how she managed to give birth to VJ at all.

Edit: I forgot to mention the Hugo storyline, maybe because it’s COMPLETELY BORING.  Anyway there’s a new cop in town, he killed the kidnapper with the weird accent, and now he’s after Hugo. Snoooooooooze.

Ah here.  H&A is way too sad these days.  First was the whole Miles/Rabbit scenario, and now today Leah and VJ visited Vinnie’s grave to say goodbye.  That’s enough sadness now, I thought.

Elijah didn’t think so, though.  He threw in a tragic story about his dad dying on a fishing trip.  I’m not able for this.

Aden’s stupid brother had a flashback and now thinks he killed their da.  It looks to me like the dad was drink-driving and had a crash.  If only they hadn’t buried him, they’d be ok with the cops.

Romeo set up a romantic date with Annie in the gym.  Possibly inspired by Ruby’s seduction of Geoff using fairy lights, he lit a load of candles.  The Campbells are suckers for small light sources.

Building on the bonza idea that Drew’s Shrew had about a cross-over Home and Away/Heroes show, commenter Sorry for being a crazy dingo has given us a deadly list of Home and Away character super-powers:

1. ALF – grows gills when he jumps in the water and swims underwater, like a fish which is kind of ironic.
2. COLLEEN – able to speak any language at will and talk to animals, that means she can gossip with anyone or anything.
3. MILES – the ability to eat food without ever getting full. (Sounds like a crappy superpower, but in later seasons he will discover he has a psychic conscience named Rabbit).
4. NICOLE – the ability to attract any person at will with her beauty.
5. JAI – the ability to be invincible.
6. IRENE – the ability to attract troubled children into her lair.
7. ANGELO – the ability to cause amnesia to others (everyone, including Martha, seems to have forgiven him for killing Jack and covering up the murder).
8. CHARLIE – the ability to change sexuality at will.
9. RUBY – the ability to screech so loud, it causes one’s ears to bleed.
10. GINA – the ability to convince people that she’s actually Tony’s sister and not his grandmother.
11. XAVIER – the same ability as Ruby.
12. MARTHA – the ability to never grieve and be constantly sexually promiscuous.
13. LIAM – the ability to be completely forgotten about only few months after being an Australian megastar.
14. ADEN – the same ability as Martha.
15. LEAH – the ability to be as sexy as Penelope Cruz but no-one in town appearing to notice.mink
16. RACHEL – the ability to heal, in all areas of medicine.
17. TONY – the ability of super strength.
18. ROMEO – the ability to to…eh…surf…REALLY REALLY WELL. (That one sucked).
19. MINK – the ability to stare at someone and kill them. What a bad ass!
20. VJ – the ability to shoot water bombs from his hands.
21. MORAG – the ability to be the best lawyer ever.
22. RABBIT – the ability to rise from the dead, be psychic and make herself invisible to all but Miles.

What do you reckon?  Do you have any others to add?

Ha, that was gas.  A documentary within a soap.  Who was the hard-bitten and slightly dashing journo who landed in Summer Bay in the aftermath of THE RIOT?  His boss was fairly bossy.  I thought his first cut of the doco (they must be called docos in Oz?) was grand.

Anyway, apparently the Bay is now forever changed because a few residents are pissed off due to the riots and the torching of the diner.  I dare say they’ll be over it in a few episodes. That’s the way things are done down Summer Bay way.  Or will that be the change?  That the SB time warp has been perpetually altered and now trauma recovery times, pregnancies and marriages will actually be a decent length?

Alf Stewart is Summer Bay.  That’s what the journo said.  He worked hard to get Alf’s slant on things and by Irwin did he get it.  Alf let rip, condemning flamin’ hoons and admitting that his trust in his fellow Aussies had been dashed.

Leah’s in bits too.  Ok, her fella was bashed and her workplace destroyed but she seems to have lost the will to live.  Maybe she’s just missing Veej.

So the winter freeze is over and Home and Away returned to our screens with much ado about something.  A number of things grabbed my attention and beg further inquiry.

1) Was the cameraman pissed or trying to do an MTV audition?  It was all over the place today.  Mad close ups and wobbly shots for no reason.

2) Miles is back to his Derro look that he perfected a few years back.  It was pretty harsh to see him get a bashing when he was fooled by the towel over the head trick.  He’ll be embarrassed when he realises he was battered by a bunch of chislers.

3) It seems the recession has finally hit Australia.  SB super bods is struggling and Tony has put it down to people not renewing with the economic crisis.  What’s next?  2 for 1 muffin offer in the diner?

4) Charlie was even more annoying than usual today.  Ruby should tell her to rack off.

Well Veej went off the rails in the last episode; he pegged a water balloon at Miles’s car.  Leah rightly pointed out that it wasn’t even an original act – Brendan “The Bandicoot” Austin had started the trend when he blinded Roman with a rock and a catapult.   The real issue here, though, is that Veej is getting battered at school.  Wait till Leah goes all flustered on their asses – they’ll be sorry.

Well, it’s all happening since VJ and Miles found the hand on the beach.  Charlie’s been kicked off the case, Angelo is heading up the new task force, and Hugo has gone out diving – alone.

My bet is that Hugo is some kind of Dexter-type character, serial-killing and throwing the bodies off the boat.  Except this isn’t LA, and he’s not Dexter.  He lives with dopey Martha, and she’s bound to trip him up.  Although it has been confirmed that Madge Wilkin’s nephew was right, the hand was chewed out by Jaws II, so that’s that theory out the window.

Speaking of whom, Martha was walking around in her underwear, causing Hugo to scarper out to sea in the first place.  The menfolk of Summer Bay don’t seem to be able to differentiate between bikinis and lingerie.  Remember when Miles saw Kirsty in her knickers?  It almost drove him mad with lust.

Nicole has turned her affections towards Trey.  Boring.  Trey’s dad seems to be mates with Alf, he’s setting up a Surf Carnival and promoting local business.  He even has a Summer Bay uniform of some kind.

When did VJ learn to speak? All of a sudden, he’s hanging around the Den and getting into all kind of scrapes. He’s a lovable scamp who needs excitement not unlike his old man, Vinny the half man, half teddy bear, innocent prison escapee, who came back from the dead. Poor Leah is driven demented and is getting even more flustered than usual. VJ was deaf as a baby but doesn’t seem to have any problems with his hearing now, except when he chooses to ignore Leah telling him not to get up to any high jinks. Now that he’s seen Kirsty on the run, how long before he’s shopping her to the cops for the reward money? No doubt he’d spend the reward money on a furry animal costume so he can join up with Vinny in a two man comedy revue show called "Grin and bear it – the bear essentials", touring Edinburgh, Montreal and Kilkenny.