Wednesday, November 2nd, 2011

Mr. Braxton McBraxerton didn’t get to kill Hammer’s drive-by bud at Tegan’s funeral, because his ma snitched to the pigs in an effort to keep her son on the straight and narrow. The shooter was some nondescript fool under Hammer’s control. Poor fella. Charlie and Constable Watson fairly put manners on him.

Brax then decided to just shoot Hammer, so said goodbye to Ma Braxton and went back to his house for the gun. Charlie and Constable Watson came to the door and hauled him down to the cop shop. Foiled again! Someone burned down Jake’s gang headquarters. I wouldn’t be surprised if there was a sign saying “Gang HQ” over the door. Brax denied all knowledge. Who did it then?

Cut to Casey going mental in the kitchen, covered in soot. Tut, tut Case. We all thought you didn’t “have it in you”.

Also, Irene is home from hospital, Gypsy and April rowed over cleaning, Gypsy has a new fella, Lily hates him.  Ta-dah!

RIP Tegan

Sunday, October 30th, 2011

So Tegan is a goner. It should have been a sad moment, only Charlie was involved. In our house, that means a lot of laughing and exclamations of “look at the face on her!”.

And do, indeed, look at the face on her.

sad charlie

At least she brought coffee.

We didn’t foresee Tegan’s demise in our latest poll; it’s the unborn Baby Poulos-Patterson-Baker-Copeland we are more unsure of.

Who'll be next to die?

  • Baby Poulos-Patterson-Baker-Copeland (49%, 24 Votes)
  • Other random river boy (16%, 8 Votes)
  • Casey (10%, 5 Votes)
  • New boob doctor (8%, 4 Votes)
  • Madge Wilkins (6%, 3 Votes)
  • Irene (4%, 2 Votes)
  • Heath (4%, 2 Votes)
  • Brax (2%, 1 Votes)
  • Leah (0%, 0 Votes)
  • Constable Watson (0%, 0 Votes)

Total Voters: 49

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Kelly quits

Monday, October 10th, 2011

Kelly said her goodbyes to the bay and returned to the farm. Why is it that whenever somebody leaves the bay, they have to do it immediately? Nobody ever says, they’ll hang on until next week or next month.  No time like the present I suppose.  Xavier is crestfallen, another failed romance but this time it’s not down to his compulsive lying.  He used both of his two brain cells to come to the conclusion that the solution was to run away from the bay and move to Kelly’s farm. Genius.

Brax told Darcy that he’s not her dad.  Poor girl.  She seemed let down.  I feel sorry for her, having two mental cases like Teegan and Heath for parents.

Miles popped the question but Leah turned him down.  Denied.  Leah adopted a fairly unusual mindset for Summer Bay and said they should wait until the time is right, rather than rushing into a hasty decision.  Never thought I’d hear anybody in H&A say something along those lines.

That is sick, man

Friday, October 7th, 2011

Poor Brax. Poor Darcy. Tegan has them thinking they’re related and they’re not. Brax has called off the DNA test, the fool. Casey is Brax’s chauffeur at the moment; chauffeur and DJ by the looks of it. He overheard Tegan admitting to Ma Braxton that Darcy isn’t Brax’s. Unsure why Lady B is going along with this.

I wasn’t sure about Irene’s new dark hair but it was looking well today. High five, Roberts!

Xavier got April to help cheer Kelly up. She was understandably upset because of her rapey brother. She met Bianca on the beach and the reaction wasn’t great, so Bianca’s off to see a shrink.

Let’s do the time warp again

Tuesday, October 4th, 2011

Leah is only 3 weeks pregnant and yet she is already holding her belly, the classic h&a shorthand for being in the family way.  Thankfully, Miles noticed this was ridiculous and told her so.  I wonder if it will take her 9 months to go full term or will the Summer Bay time warp kick in, with her going into labour in about 9 weeks?

Brax is a fool for not insisting Tegan get a DNA test for Darcy.  He knows she is a compulsive liar, so why is he taking her word for it now?  Charlie will have a good excuse to do her moany face now that Brax told her to keep away.

I predict ructions between Roo and Sid’s ex.  Just as Roo and Marilyn have resolved their differences, the writers have introduced a new female for Roo to compete with.  No doubt Sid will fall under her spell for a while before coming to his senses.   Roo seems to thrive on a bit of competition, let the best lady win.

I’ll put on the jug

Monday, October 3rd, 2011

Miles was on the horns of a dilemma. He wanted to tell Leah not to have an abortion, but he didn’t want to tell her what to do. They thrashed it out anyway and Leah decided to go ahead with the pregnancy. In the meantime, Miles went to Elijah for advice, but the Rev found it too close for comfort.

Brax got stabbed so did some injecting on himself, with Tegan as nursemaid. Good product placement for Dettol. Charlie found Jake in the boot of his car; he gave her a fair amount of cheek down the cop shop. Then intrepid Sergeant Buckton found Brax bleeding all over Angelo’s; she took him to the hospital for Dr. Sid to patch up. Tegan arrived and insinuated her daughter is also Brax’s. Cue pained face from Charlie.

A classic

Tuesday, September 20th, 2011

Now, that was a classic Home and Away episode. Marilyn even got the tarot cards out!

Today we witnessed one of the key Summer Bay plotlines. A breaks up with B, but then changes their mind and calls to B’s house, only to find them canoodling with C. Brilliant.

Brax might be the cleverest of the River Boys, but he still allowed Tegan hide drugs at his brothers’ house, and on the day after he was grilled by the SBPD for laundering drug money.

Marilyn was getting back to her psychic roots, when in the middle of a reading she foresaw doom for Sid and Roo. Roo’s curiosity was piqued when Marilyn ended the session early, but later she ‘fessed up about what she saw. Now, will it be a self-fulfilling prophecy…?

Pig bosses

Wednesday, July 27th, 2011

Brax’s ex Tegan was sniffing around in that episode. She realised in one day what the citizens of Summer Bay have been blissfully unaware of for weeks, namely that Brax and Sergeant Buckton are taking it to the next level frequently. She issued Charlie with a warning that the secret was not safe with her. So Brax gave her a stern talking-to, and she took off. I’m not fully convinced that that’s the end of Tegan, though.

Marilyn and Sid broke up. Poor Marilyn. She couldn’t compete with Roo’s ginormous dresses. Sid spent the evening staring wistfully at said dresses in Romeo and Indi’s wedding photos.

bring back miles
Original image from This is Oz

all the dead

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