So, Charlie is dead. Or more correctly, she’s braindead. It never stopped her doing her job before, but Dr. Sid is keen for Ruby to pull the plug. Maybe he’s anxious to have the room free for the next time Xavier gets injured.

Brax and Jake had a fight/chase, which ended in Jake being taken away by the cops. He’s not too clever, old Jake; he’s going straight back into the slammer. Maybe he likes it.

Ruby is coming around to the idea of turning off Charlie’s machines. Brax is not so happy with it. I foresee a massive outburst of rage.

There is one thing that the good Doctor Walker hasn’t tried, though. Why not get all the River Boys around to the hospital and have them take off their tops? If anything could revive a braindead woman, that’d be it.

There’s a new cop. He seems useless. He gave Sid a good talking-to when he was leaving the cells.

Stu’s dad showed up in the hospital. Turns out he is fairly scobey. Not surprising really.

Elijah is doing a LOT of hanging around the Patterson-Bakers. What about his job?

Where to start? April’s dress, with all of the boobage. RUBY’S HAIR! Alf dancing awesomely. Dexter and Xavier rapping and later scrapping.

Most of all, RUBY’S HAIR. What was the story there? Was it a Pocahontas thing?

Casey’s out of juvie, for good behaviour. He is going to The City with Ruby, despite her hair.

Stu spiked the punch, then slapped Sasha. Sid saw it, YES! And bate lumps out of Stu. FULLY BASHED.

Who was the mystery weirdo watching Charlie and Brax having a pash? Wouldn’t it be deadly if it was Alf, and this was a hobby of his?

Anyway would Charlie and Brax ever eff off? She’s a cop and bad at her job. He’s a prior dealie (betcha that’s a word) with ties to his past. I get it, it’s a conflict. Zzzzzzzz

Miles found out about Elijah fancying Leah. He was heartbroken, poor thing. Leah doesn’t know, and has no interest in the Rev. Good woman Leah, he’s turned into a SAP. Miles is going to visit Sally in Thailand, hopefully he meets Cassie and Baby Henk too.

Romeo got yet another job, and immediately asked for an advance. My faith in his business acumen is dwindling by the day.

Sid and Roo are an item again. Turns out she loves paeLLa.

So Doctor Sid discovered that Mink has a disease (which I can’t spell), which means she can’t surf professionally anymore. Romeo very soundly offered to share his surf teaching business with her, but she left town. She’ll be back.

Stew/Stu chased Sasha down when she refused a lift from him. Later she turned up with some torso bruises. Please let Sid batter Stew soon.

Alf is gathering the troops and organising his campaign. A mighty sight.

Harvey is continuing to spread rumours about John Palmer and his corrupt ways. Roo got involved and asked him to stop, to no avail. Rumours tend to get believed in small towns like the bay so John’s in strife with the council now, they want him to resign. Harvey needs stopping asap.

Miles is heading for a fall. He seems to think himself and Leah are headed for a reconciliation but Leah has other ideas and lied to him on the phone. To top it all, Colleen told him that he was looking a bit fat. I’m surprised how thin he is considering he stuffs his face in most scenes.

Sash is in hospital with her infection. Stu had a showdown with Sid, who got a taste of his anger. The doc won’t let him anywhere near Sasha now. But he got the impression that Stu convinced her to get the tattoo, which isn’t true and she didn’t set her Dad straight, future conflict alert. Xavier seems happy enough to hang around the hospital, waiting for her condition to improve. Isn’t he a bit old for Sasha, she’s only 15.

Mink is hanging around like a bad smell. Somehow she thinks there is loads of money in the Bank of Romeo. Indi even offered to give her her day spa voucher, and she threw it on the ground. Inconsiderate cahhhhh. Romeo later said he’d have money for her by the end of the week. But Mink isn’t allowed to tell Indi. Bad move Romeo.

Sid met new Doctor Kerrie at Irene’s and asked her out for lunch. Irene found out Roo still has eyes for the doc and got into a terrible fluster. She told Sid, who wasn’t impressed with Kerrie’s lack of opinions anyway.

Stu made friends with Sid and got Sasha’s grounding lifted. Sasha reluctantly went to the beach with The Basher. Later Xavier found her moaning on a bench, and took her to hospital. I call infected tattoo. Xave must have enjoyed that, normally he’s the patient.

I’m so excited, I’m gonna live blog this episode, here goes:

Argh, shut up about sport, RTE people!
I forgot about Harvey’s stupid face!
Also forgot about Sid’s declaration of love!
Harvey’s in the “barbecue area”.
Roo is keeping Harvey at bay cos of the doc.
Romeo slacking on his dinner preparations, very slow chopping.
Marilyn’s hair is lovely.
Roo and Marilyn having a girlie chat about boys.
Miles and Veej hanging out on beach.
Colleen driving sick Irene mad.
There’s going to be a surprise fundraiser for Irene.
Harvey putting pressure on Alf re: Blaxland.
“Just because I’m your son, doesn’t mean you can control everything I do”. Veej demands RESPECT.
Miles is very philosophical about the break-up. Veej thinks it’s Leah’s fault.

BREAK

Poor Irene is crying. Awwww. Cancer’s no joke.
Alf says Colleen’s mouth works overtime. He’s not wrong.
Irene is not on for leaving the house.
Alf’s under orders to wear pink for the fundraiser.
“Are you using me to get Dad’s boat”, sez Roo to Harvey.
Veej and Leah rowing. IM NEARLY THIRTEEN.
Marilyn coaxing Irene out of house. Very persuasive.
Roo and Harvey row, Alf kicks him out. IN YER FACE HARVEY
Irene stunned at fundraiser, makes speech.
Palmer in pink cowboy hat.
Roo calls to farm, Romeo can lease Blaxland again, Sid says forget about his declaration of love.
The ladies have wine, cake and biscuits.
Veej getting a bus outta town. I bet he’s going to THE CITY.

Liam’s in the hospital after colliding with Brax and Charlie’s cahhhh. I hope nothing happens to Xavier before the rockstar recovers, there’ll be no bed for him.

Heath and Bianca covered for Chax. Bianca is overly distraught, considering she and Liam are no longer an item.

Sid convinced Alf to hold off on the boat sale. Harvey is very anxious to close the deal. He called around to Romeo to give him a bollocking. Indi overheard and was shocked at Harvey’s extreme knobishness.

Sam admitted to driving the apple core getaway car, meaning Brax is off the hook. Charlie still resigned though. Boss Joyce was confused as to why.

Sid made a house call to Irene, who seems to have lost her hair overnight. That’s the end of her lovely new do! Roo called around and ad a blue with Sid, who ended up telling her Harvey is a fool and he still loves her. Awwww.

Home and Away is off the air now, until JANUARY 16th! How on earth will we manage?

Colleen came out with another classic line today, “what’s got you grinning like a chestnut cat?” Brilliant.

Irene is back at work but find it hard going. Having to listen to Coleen’s insane ramblings must make it tough.

Charlie and Bianca went on a girlie weekend away. Bianca is some masochist, putting herself through 24 hours alone with Charlie. Chaz is feeling guilty after putting her job at risk over Brax. She got Heath up to keep an eye on her. They ended up together, big surprise. Then Brax ran Liam off his bike on the way home. Bianca didn’t deal with it too well. Maybe there’s still something there between the two of them?

Sasha got another beating from Stew. She keeps getting bashed but she keeps coming back for more. That poor kid needs to get over her self loathing. Sid is going to find out and then there will be some serious beatings.

The net is closing in on April, albeit veeeeery slowly. Sid discovered pages missing from his prescription pad and reported it, but told Charlie he thinks Stu did it. Charlie called to Brax to find out, only to see him playing happy couples with the lawyer and a load of fruit. She later cried to Charlie, saying “it’s really over”. Brax deleted Charlie from his phone. Hopefully now they’ll be sworn enemies. Entertaining.

Sasha gave out to Stu for hitting her, so he bought her a massive ring. I foresee more bashings in her future. I also have my fingers crossed that Sid will eventually bash Stu.

Bianca and Irene think April’s behaviour is fishy. She won Dux of the school, whatever that is. Bianca was thrilled, but Dr. April just looked bamboozled. Curious.