Is Chris the Iago of the Bay? He’s managed to set Maddy and Spencer against each other, convincing each that the other person is mad with them. The gullible pair fell for his lies unsurprisingly. Roo said enough is enough and it was time to interfere; they set them up on a picnic so they could sort things out. They chatted and realised that Chris set them up, the fools. All sorted now anyway, well done Roo and Harvey. They told Chris to shove it until he sobbed about having too much expectations from the oldies, so Spencer told him to stick around, which he’s going to do. Can’t say I’m too happy about that, he’s a pretty annoying character.

Sasha is being a good mate to Rosie but it’s a tough burden for her young shoulders. She needs to see a counsellor but is unwilling to do so. April suggested that she talk to Bianca given that she was “attacked” before. Rosie’s solution was to get pizza and have a girls night, which isn’t quite the same thing but a start I suppose.

Heath is coming up with a new plan to get custody of Darcy. He needs to get a DNA test to show that he is the father but they need Connie to agree to it, which will be tough going. Heath is now great mates with Zac after they punched and made up on Friday. He’s the brains of the operation as he managed to convince Heath not to put in false allegations against Connie. Heath got a new tattoo that says “Darcy nipple Rocco”, but he’s going to leave his daughter be with Connie for now, she can come to look for him when she’s ready.

Ricky and Brax were in the diner when when Natalie and Zac arrived in and it was all a bit awkward. Brax and Nat are definitely getting back together at some stage but he’s having fun with Ricky at the moment. They slept together again but she’s keeping it very casual for now.

Heath is making progress in his counselling and apologised to Connie which means he can see Darcy again. Bianca met Ricky and thought she and Brax were perfect for each other, don’t know how she made her mind up on that after a 30 second conversation. Bianca then decided to bake a cake as Darcy and Heath were coming over but it was a disaster. Is she ever going to move out of Irene’s house? Connie changed her mind about letting Heath see Darcy but he managed to keep his temper, he not the Hulk anymore.

Mullins is back at school and confronted Rosie and Sasha. Gina intervened and separated them but told Sasha to keep her distance from Mullins and not lose her temper. The cops showed up at school to talk to Rosie, Mullins is a free man as the cops didn’t believe Rosie’s story. He confronted the girls in the corridor again and Sasha bashed him in the mouth, so she’s suspended now.

Rosie was raped by “Mullens”, after a pash in his car. She went straight to Sasha, who should be the town counsellor instead of Natalie. After a face-off with Mullens, who seems to think he did nothing wrong, they went to the police. There are no local characters down the cop shop anymore, so maybe her case will be handled correctly. Fingers crossed.

Sid told Sash and Dex about Romeo. Dex told April. It’ll spread like wildfire.

In his grief, Dex managed to score his nurse mate. He told April that being friends wasn’t working out, and that they should avoid each other. She’s not impressed.

Spencer took off with his brother, who so boring I can’t remember his name. Harvey is mega-worried. He sees Spencer as a reincarnation of his dead son Ben, not literally, but he likes having a son figure about. It’s gas how Maddie and Spencer arrived about a month ago, and now Harvey says he doesn’t know what he’d do if Spence left. Ah, relax.

Maddie is taking up life-saving, with Jett. Will there be a near-drowning incident?

Gina took some tablets for a headache. No-one in the Bay ever has minor ailments. Also, the Palmer family is a bit too happy. They’ve almost adopted Jett.

Natalie’s fella (who is also so boring I can’t remember his name) wants a job from Gina, but his crim record is getting in the way. Sickener, Teach.

P.S. Dr. Sid tweeted us!

@homeandawayie that is very much appreciated morag .. Xx

— Rob Mammone (@RobMammone) May 7, 2013

Alf put the foot down with Maddie as she’s acting out and driving Roo nuts. I think they should take Maddie to see Dr. Sid; her behaviour is so erratic that she could have a brain tumour. She is a totally different character to when she arrived in the Bay.

There was a second mad storyline today, in which Richard came to the Bay to contest John and Gina’s adoption of Jett. Richard, the man who only met Jett once before. Anyway Jett put him straight and the adoption is going ahead.

Sasha and Rosie are back together. Sasha did a Sheldon Cooper and drafted a friendship agreement, which Rosie was only delira with.

Mr. Smith has the oul’ caaaanca, but he won’t tell his wife. Well, she’ll deduce it soon enough from his withdrawn ways, and if she doesn’t, her dear daddio will let it slip. I only hope Romeo doesn’t tell Heath, who then tells Indi, as that would be a disaster of Home and Away proportions.

What a diagnosis though! Sid seems to be giving him a little hope with the promise of new treatments, but Romeo is riddled with it.

Gina and John told Jett they wanted to adopt him. Jett, the wee dote, went mad, saying he wasn’t good enough. He gave Gina a good dig by saying her sons wouldn’t like it. I’d say Gina thought, “who?”.

Sasha was so amazing and by-the-book in her petitioning for equal-rights uniforms that Gina is going to back her cause with the PNC. Sasha was delighted with this, but had no friends to tell, since she dissed Rosie. Bad move, Sash.

Casey faced facts that he was going to have to return to jail. He geared up for it, despite Brax advising he go on the run. Then Zack got a phone call at the last moment, saying he didn’t have to go back, so all is good and Zack is the saviour. Unfortunately he paid for it with his job as he got fired by the prisonies. Natalie was dead impressed with his heroism and pashed him right in front of Brax. In your face ex-boyfriend.

Romeo is still keeping his cancer a secret from Indi, despite Sid advising otherwise. Sid called him to come in and said that the cancer had spread to his liver, lungs and brain. WTF? No chance of a last minute reprieve there. The poor fella is not long for this world, which is pretty bad timing as he just gave his wife a “soul mates” bracelet. She’ll be devo when she finds out. It’s like the Belle and Aden storyline again, or Meg and Blake if you want to go really old school.

Sasha is running a campaign to let the girls wear the boys uniform but she’s having problems getting people to sign up. Rosie is acting aloof, trying not to appear desperate to get back into Sasha’s good books. I hope those two manage to have a reconciliation, Rosie needs all the mates she can get, fish can’t be enough.

Sasha thinks she’s going to vom for some reason, I hope she doesn’t get it all over Dex now that he’s the most popular man on campus again. He’s stoked to be back in the swing of things. Dex says that Uni is going so well that it feels like he’s drinking from the fountain of knowledge. April confided in Sasha that Uni didn’t go quite so well for her. She also wants Dex back, but he remains oblivious to the fact. Sasha pushed them back together and they eventually admitted that things hadn’t been going as well as they had been letting on. Hopefully they’ll get back together and quit their messing.

Jett is still being bullied by Tilda. Sasha interrupted the latest incident and told him to rat her out to Gina, but Jett thinks it’s pointless for some reason. He later reluctantly agreed though, and John was called in for the consultation with the head mistress. They told him to turn the other cheek, which he’s trying to do, but it’s tough going. Gina called the ma in but she turns out to be a wagon who thinks her daughter can do no wrong. Tilda hasn’t let up and is continuing to abuse Jett, hard old station for him.

Liam is at a low ebb again. He’s been sacked from his job for theft, and his ex-wife is getting re-married to his arch enemy. He had a heart to heart with Irene where she told him he’d bounce back. He took his ill-gotten gains from Angelo’s and posted them to his son. Then he mounted his bike and sped off. Is that the end of the rock god’s Bayside stay? If so, he’s gone out with a wimper rather than a bang.

TwoTube are going to have a special guest in studio tomorrow, none other than Luke Mitchell who plays Romeo, they should ask him how the new gym is going.

“If you have anything in your lungs, get it out!” as John Palmer said to Rosie and Sasha. Casey saved them from the surf after Rosie’s mental dash into the water. Lucky for them he was around. Sasha covered for her mate but that could be the end of their friendship. She handed back the necklace that Rosie gave her, she’s had enough and I don’t blame her. Rosie is far too intense and a bit psycho. Sash told Nat about the incident so she had word with the young wan, who denied everything. I think the lady doth protest too much. Rosie is going insane on her own. Nat wants her to move in with a foster family, how about Roo and co in the caravan park?

Casey is very blase about his problems on the inside with Courtney and Jamie. Brax tried to get him thinking about his plans for jail but Casey just wants to play it by ear as he has experience there, unlike his elder bro. He doesn’t want any protection from Zack anymore as he doesn’t reckon it’s working out. He thinks that Zack was only helping Casey so he could get back with Nosey Nat but they denied it. Brax told Casey to ask Zack for help if he needed it, no point in letting his bother’s problems getting in his own way.

Tamara needs a place to live so she asked Brax to write a letter of recommendation so she could get a lease on a new property. She’s having problems with Kyle so she suggested they just stay out of each other’s way. Kyle is such a reformed character that he offered his room to Tamara, saying that he’d take the couch. Cosy.

After all that to-and-fro, Bianca and Heath are now engaged. In a mad/nice move, Celia gave Heath her engagement ring, from her marriage that never was. Les sounds like a nice sort.

So, there’s another Home and Away wedding in the works. It’s been 13 months since Bianca’s last big day, and 14 months since she was going to marry the Prince.

When Celia told Alf about her generosity, he told her her work was done, and to pack her bags. Strange logic, but it seemed to work. Celia is off into the wide blue yonder again. Shame, they could do with a older lady for comic relief. Yoo-hoo, only me!

Sasha is becoming fast friends with Maddie and Spence, and Rosie doesn’t like it one bit. The poor child is gone daft with loneliness. So she tried to fake-drown herself in the sea, in order to get Sasha’s attention. I found myself shouting “would ye just float” at the telly. I’d say they were only a few feet into the ocean.

Poor Sasha too, she always attracts the nutters. Maybe she’ll have to “accidentally” kill Rosie too.*

Real-life Sasha and Rosie are on Twitter, see our H&A twitter list here.

* Only messing, Sasha, old chum.

Heath got a grenade on his neck because he liked blowing stuff up as a child. That’s amazing. Celia is unimpressed with his body art and doesn’t think Bianca should be going out with him. She decided to stick her nose in and tell them how to live their lives, I’m surprised he didn’t stitch her a head butt, instead it made him pluck up the courage to propose to Bianca.

Jett is still having bullying issues with Tilda. Gina got Sasha to talk to the boy but he feels he deserves the bullying for his past ways, low self esteem issues.

Sasha’s mate Rosie is getting very clingy, in a stalker way. She’s possessive and jealous, I can’t see that friendship ending well. She bought Sasha a friendship bracelet, which reminded me of Joey’s “bestest buds” bracelets in Friends.

Roo and Harvey are vying for supremacy with Spencer’s dad. He is trying to control his son’s life but the kids are having none of it. Roo and Harvey are taking them in so they can stay in the Bay and start new lives in the caravan park. Spencer told his Da to shove it, and he slinked off with a massive puss on his face. Serves him right, the tool.