Jamie is a brilliant pathetic baddie. He nicked Jett’s phone, quizzed Colleen about Leah, and texted Veej while pretending to be Jett. JP found the phone in Jamie’s car and confronted him. Jamie was like a deer in headlights; if it wasn’t for Heath’s experience in counter-threats, John would have dragged Jamie down the cop shop.

Adam got Liam to hire a boat for Jamie. What a weird request to make. But Jamie is supposed to kill Heath on the báid, so maybe Adam doesn’t want it traced back to him. It was the worst blackmail effort ever (Do as I say or I’ll get Bianca back on drugs), but it worked.

April’s going to med school. Does that mean she’s leaving soon?

Colleen continues to be brilliant. I thought that Sally would be back for Roo’s wedding, wonder when she’ll appear?

We all know by now that Kate Ritchie, aka Sally, is coming back to the Bay. What I want to know is:

• Will young Pippa come with her?
• How is Cassie getting on with the oul HIV?
• What age is Cassie’s baby?
• Is Miles still deadly?
• Is Miles still eating everything?

I bet if she tried really hard, she could bag herself a River Boy!

Oi.

Even when someone is doing Haaaavey a favour, he’s a moany waste of space. Now his “mate” Winston has kidnapped him, as part of a buck’s night caper. Hope they don’t accidentally drive off Stewart’s Point…(fingers crossed)!

Jamie is still hanging around, being weird. He is pretending to be Veej on iChat, so Jett will get Leah’s location out of Liam. Phew. Good continuation of storyline, in fairness.

Marilyn hasn’t organised Roo’s hen; she totally forgot. Bet ten million euros they go to Angelo’s.

Lisa exited stage left. She told Sid she will break up with Neil, but wants to put some distance between herself and the Walkers first. Looks like Dex will be getting a new physio.

Did yis hear Sally’s coming back?

…are back on Irish telly today! Yippee!

I’m going to be fierce confused though, as I’ve been watching the old episodes on Channel 5.

Didn’t Sally just get stabbed? Where’s Fisher?

In real life, like.

Here’s Sinead from RTE Twotube recreating a classic Home and Away scene between Sally and Cassie.

Liam and Bianca are engaged. It must be at least two weeks since she had sex with another man, so fair enough. Good one by Liam taping the ring inside her motorbike helmet. I hope they invite His Royal Highness Vittorio.

Indi found out Romeo gave Mink their savings. She gave him a bollocking, and rightly so. I hope she still has her own bank account.

Romeo gave the weird spy fella info on the new development, which weird spy fella passed onto Harvey. Harvey announced this at a council rally, and everyone was strangely disgusted at what looked like a nice new development to me.

In terrible news, Miles is leaving. Sally got him a teaching job in Thailand, the wench. He can’t take being around Leah anymore. Boooo.

Lastly, I wish Colleen would call to my house with scones. She could nose around all she wanted.

Oh, actually, I forgot that Leah saw Little Brax when Big Brax and Charlie were having night-time boldness in the kitchen. Why don’t either of the lovebirds have their own house?

Who was the mystery weirdo watching Charlie and Brax having a pash? Wouldn’t it be deadly if it was Alf, and this was a hobby of his?

Anyway would Charlie and Brax ever eff off? She’s a cop and bad at her job. He’s a prior dealie (betcha that’s a word) with ties to his past. I get it, it’s a conflict. Zzzzzzzz

Miles found out about Elijah fancying Leah. He was heartbroken, poor thing. Leah doesn’t know, and has no interest in the Rev. Good woman Leah, he’s turned into a SAP. Miles is going to visit Sally in Thailand, hopefully he meets Cassie and Baby Henk too.

Romeo got yet another job, and immediately asked for an advance. My faith in his business acumen is dwindling by the day.

Sid and Roo are an item again. Turns out she loves paeLLa.

Oooh, Jake is scary, isn’t he? Loads of random shouting in the middle of sentences. Anyway now he has Ruby and Casey held hostage. Charlie will LOVE this.

Leah told Miles she’s on the bubble. He looked confused. I bet he was thinking “Am I allowed eat the diner food now?”. She is scared to have the baby, not sure why, is it because she had to give the last one to Sally and Flynn?

Dex told his ma to stay away. I’m dying for a look at her. Bet she’ll turn up anyway.

There’s a girl who works in Angelo’s who looks really like Sally, she’s always in the background.

Check this out; who do you think wears the beard best? This was sent to homeandawayireland HQ by the reader known only as Saul.