Monday, May 13th, 2013

After bursting into Bianca’s class with this great idea, Heath got Darcy’s Granny around to show off how mature he has become. She couldn’t believe he’s going to counselling. When she was leaving, I thought to myself “River Granny’s a bit shook there”.

Next thing Heath knew, Granny Connie had whisked Darcy away, “inter-state”. Uh-oh.

Tamara stuck her nose into the Rosie storyline, and wanted to give Mullens a bollocking. Kyle stopped her, then approached Mullens himself, with a very, very, River Boy, “Oi”. Kyle is as strange as Casey when he’s trying to be threatening, except he’s all lower teeth instead of eyes.

Speaking of eyes, Casey’s are going to full-on burst out of his head when he finds out that Kyle kissed Tamara. And that, despite her initial panic, she liked being the jam in a River Boy sandwich.

Something’s gone awry with Jett’s adoption. Of course it has, that crowd were far too happy.

Sid had his collar way up, a la Ross O’Carroll-Kelly.

Dodgy deals

Thursday, March 14th, 2013

What a mad episode. Brax took Heath’s place in Adam’s deal. Adam told Brax he’d end up dead. Heath sat at home until Bianca mentioned that maybe he should help Brax out. Heath is a dum dum.

Brax got the stuff from the least threatening baddie I’ve seen since the halcyon days of “Hammer”. It turns out the “stuff” was shipping times. Boring. Heath arrived just in time to accost a henchman who was getting ready to shoot Brax, and the Baddie escaped.

Now, if I were a River Boy, I’d be heading back to the beach at this stage. But Brax went to confront Adam instead. There was some very emotional I-thought-we-were-mates dialogue, before the Baddie returned, and ran over Adam, who died.

NOW I’d be heading home (after ringing the cops, and the ambos, of course). Brax, however, told Heath to look after the business, and Casey, and headed off into the sunset. Wait ’till Casey hears. It’ll probably put him right off his HSC.

In other Bay news, Harvey had sense and called the cops to tell them about Maddie (who has suspected meningitis) and Spencer. Roo went bananas. She is being very unreasonable.

Finally, Celia is still mad for the pokies, or the gee gees, or gambling in general. It won’t be long until Alf wises up to her.

Ritchie’s Return

Tuesday, February 12th, 2013

We all know by now that Kate Ritchie, aka Sally, is coming back to the Bay. What I want to know is:

  • Will young Pippa come with her?
  • How is Cassie getting on with the oul HIV?
  • What age is Cassie’s baby?
  • Is Miles still deadly?
  • Is Miles still eating everything?

I bet if she tried really hard, she could bag herself a River Boy!


Rindi is dead

Friday, May 18th, 2012

Indi and Romeo are absolute disgraces. They briefly spoke about ending their marriage, then went off pashing/next-level-ing with other people. I am glad they were so invested in their marriage that they could abandon it at the drop of a hat. TUT TUT.

Ruby declared her love for Romeo, but luckily he was too locked to hear her.

Dr. Sid made a great growling noise when he met Logan.

Gina got to the bottom of the Henri-Casey alliance, with the help of Veej. Henri is so stupid. Could she not have waited two months until Casey’s exams were over? She could hardly have expected him to have any sense, he’s a River Relative!

Poor blondie river boy

Wednesday, October 19th, 2011

Feck that poor wee half-wit River Boy got his terrible tattoo cut off, after Charlie broke up the worst gang face-off of all time. Did you see Jake’s crew? I could’ve taken them on myself. They weren’t even topless!

April had a snoop in Irene’s bag and found out about her breast cancer. Naturally, Irene wants it kept secret. They love secrets in Summer Bay.

Blood and sand

Thursday, March 10th, 2011

Well Miles is a ticket. He wanted a Patterson-Baker food basket so badly, he didn’t tell Leah that Elijah had a brand-new wife! The little savage.

Charlie fancies Head River Boy. Her heart says yes while her head says no. My, but she’s conflicted.

bring back miles
Original image from This is Oz

all the dead

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