Martha is pining after BangBang/BumBum and Hugo is really pushing the “he needs to be with his own people” angle.  What’s he at?  Maybe HIS INDONESIAN WIFE who just showed up at his and Martha’s house can explain.

Gina is very annoyed with JPIII ever since he fired Romeo.   That’ll cool his heels alright, but it’s nothing a surf and a drink won’t fix.

Geoff and Ruby have had their first tiff; he’s being over-protective and she is a big girl who can look after herself.  Luckily Uncle Tony was on hand to dole out the only level-headed advice in all of Summer Bay to Geoff.  Plus Rachel had a chat to Ruby.  The Holden-Armstrongs should open a counselling centre.  Dan who?

Summer Bay – popular with surfers, fishermen, rapists and psychopaths.  Now that Ruby has met up with her dad, who raped Charlie, sure it’ll only be five minutes before he ends up in the bay.  It’s a magnet for ne’er do wells.  But maybe the sea air will have a calming and positive influence on him, causing him to mend his erroneous ways.

There have been previous reformed rapists who managed to be accepted in the bay.  First there was Kane who raped Dani back in the day. He was eventually accepted by all, even Kirsty for some bizarre reason.  In more recent times Henk made an appearance which shocked Rachel as he had raped her when they were younger.  Cassie wasn’t too put off and went out with him despite his weird name.

That episode revolved around babies.  Rachel’s wrecked because of hers, and Kirsty’s just annoyed that she’s pregnant in the first place.  The S word was mentioned twice.  Rachel wasn’t feeling very sexy (poor Tony’s having a hard time) and Kirsty told Leah she was tired because of all the supposed sex she was having behind Miles’ back.  That told her.

There might be a new love interest for Leah in the form of Rachel’s widower dad mate, who she met at her mother’s group.  The group seemed to be some kind of competitive showcase for child-rearing abilities.  Fun.

Jai thought that the best way to woo Annie was to set up a website for her.  Unfortunately, before he presented her with it, he spotted her wearing the face off Dexter.  I wonder what he posted on www.anniesummerbay.com when he went home?

So, Belle is a goner.  She only got married last week, yesterday she was swimming and today, she’s kaput.  That was the fastest non-accidental demise ever.

Still and all when it came to it, it was touching, and nice that Belle got to go home to Irene’s.  I half expected Aden to climb out the window the next morning.  Earlier in the episode there was loads of messing with Liam Murphy trying to make amends, and Amanda trying to hospitalise Belle.  Sound Doctor Sid sorted her out by calling Rachel in.  I’m not really sure what Rachel did, but it worked.

On the Youtube, there was a preview of the funeral.  Martha was doing the maddest face:

Geoff looked equally confused:

Rachel is a pain in the hoop. You’d think she’d be delighted to have the negligence case sorted, but no, she just looked annoyed that she had nothing to moan about. Then Tony brought Harry to the diner to introduce him to Auntie Colleen, and Rachel nearly lost her reason. She’d want to watch herself or topless Tony (did you see that?) will be packing Harry up for good.

Martha is certainly acting like a happy spa these days. Better that than weepy and confused I suppose.

Those were crafty tactics by Morag, using Ross’s Alzheimer’s to try to get to the bottom of the baby mystery. But Charlie had a trick up her sleeve as well, saying her baby had died when in fact she was sitting opposite with a gaping mouth that would catch all the flies in Oz.  I suppose it’s her cop training that allows her to think so quickly, but Jack would never have thought of that.

Poor Charlie all the same, it looks like her journey to the next level wasn’t as consensual as most.

Ooh now that was an episode.  Rachel was in labour after her extra-long pregnancy (in Summer Bay time).  Tony nearly didn’t make it, then he did, then the baby nearly didn’t make it, then he did.  To top it all off, the lady who just lost her baby in Rachel’s care is hanging around the hospital, poised to nick young Harry.  Me fingernails are bitten to stumps; it’s pure Hand that Rocked the Cradle.

I barely had time to exhale when Nicole found Belle taking handfuls of drugs.  That’s how you take cancer drugs, apparently, by the handful.  She thought Belle was up to her old prescription-drug-taking tricks, so Belle confessed that she was dying.  Looks like she won’t be able to have those babies everyone keeps going on about.  Give a girl a chance, she’s not even married yet!

Amanda’s coming back to town.  That’s three harlots in close proximity.  Martha and Charlie better keep their men close.

Good quote there by Irene; she reckons Mrs. Lou is a “peroxide piranha” and is after her money.  Unfortunately it looks like the tax man might get there first.

Angelo Risotto is getting suspicious of Hugo; do you think Hugo killed Lou?

Oh great, Xavier and Jai found a load of guns.  This is going to be a disaster.  I hope Rachel is on standby with her mad doctor skillz.

Q. Why does Martha always wear cowboy boots?
A. Because they don’t have laces which she finds too complicated.

Q. How long did Martha grieve over Jack before getting into bed with Hugo?
A. At least 2 weeks.

Q. How was Rachel going to make medical history yesterday?
A. By performing a c-section on her own stomach.

Martha is thick as a brick; she couldn’t figure out why Hugo would rather face the worst downpour Summer Bay has ever seen than stay the night.  Then she stood open-mouthed when he explained that he shouldn’t have feelings for her as he was Jack’s cousin and she was Jack’s wife.  You could almost see the cogs attempting to turn.  “Jack”, she was probably thinking, “who was he again?”.  I think she’s been taking tips from Charlize Theron on how to play a MRF.

Rachel has another string to her medical bow I see; she’s now an optometrist as well as everything else.

So Claudia’s up the duff.  Imagine if Geoff was your da, he’d agonise over every decision.

Irene’s lawyer is beyond rubbish; she can’t even organise a trial date.  Irene’ll have drunk the prison dry by the time she gets around to it.

Ok, so there was a lot of drama in that episode.  Aden and Belle and Rocker Man, Irene and the disappearance of Lou, and Roman’s drama is lurking in the background too.  But the biggest revelation of all was that Rachel is ONLY six months pregnant!  She’s huge!  And doesn’t seem to be affected by the Summer Bay time warp.

Maybe this is part of the mystery too?

P.S.  Does anyone else think Aden should step up as the new Noah?  That was some nifty advice he gave Tony…