Miles has had enough. Enough of the tagging and chaos around the caravan park. So in a Popeyesque move, he proclaimed “I’ve had all I can stand and I can’t stand no more” and went on a stakeout to catch the criminal in the act.

Ably assisted by his assistant Aden, the two crime-fighters set off with torches and a hunger and thirst for what is right.  Tagers beware – Miles is aware!  But there was one problem with their stakeout, it’s much harder to catch imaginary people than real ones.

Rabbit led them on a merry dance and legged it when she saw Miles lumbering towards her.  Knowing an opportunity for pratfalls and slapstick when he sees it, Miles fell over and twisted his ankle.  Hilarity ensued and Aden didn’t manage to see Rabbit as she ran off.  Funny that.  Then she had the temerity to deny the incident when Miles brought it up with her the next day.  If Miles thinks she’s a real person, why doesn’t he mention her to anyone?  He had the perfect opportunity when talking to Aden about the stakeout.  Is it time Miles was locked up for his own safety?

Building on the bonza idea that Drew’s Shrew had about a cross-over Home and Away/Heroes show, commenter Sorry for being a crazy dingo has given us a deadly list of Home and Away character super-powers:

1. ALF:  grows gills when he jumps in the water and swims underwater, like a fish which is kind of ironic.
2. COLLEEN:  able to speak any language at will and talk to animals, that means she can gossip with anyone or anything.
3. MILES:  the ability to eat food without ever getting full. (Sounds like a crappy superpower, but in later seasons he will discover he has a psychic conscience named Rabbit).
4. NICOLE:  the ability to attract any person at will with her beauty.
5. JAI:  the ability to be invincible.
6. IRENE: the ability to attract troubled children into her lair.
7. ANGELO: the ability to cause amnesia to others (everyone, including Martha, seems to have forgiven him for killing Jack and covering up the murder).
8. CHARLIE: the ability to change sexuality at will.
9. RUBY: the ability to screech so loud, it causes one’s ears to bleed.
10. GINA: the ability to convince people that she’s actually Tony’s sister and not his grandmother.
11. XAVIER: the same ability as Ruby.
12. MARTHA: the ability to never grieve and be constantly sexually promiscuous.
13. LIAM: the ability to be completely forgotten about only few months after being an Australian megastar.
14. ADEN: the same ability as Martha.
15. LEAH: the ability to be as sexy as Penelope Cruz but no-one in town appearing to notice.
16. RACHEL: the ability to heal, in all areas of medicine.
17. TONY: the ability of super strength.
18. ROMEO: the ability to surf REALLY REALLY WELL. (That one sucked).
19. MINK: the ability to stare at someone and kill them. What a bad ass!
20. VJ: the ability to shoot water bombs from his hands.
21. MORAG: the ability to be the best lawyer ever.
22. RABBIT: the ability to rise from the dead, be psychic and make herself invisible to all but Miles.

What do you reckon? Do you have any others to add?

The Summer Bay time warp seems to be back in operation; the diner has been rebuilt in record time.   I hope they’ve put in a back door and fire alarm this time.

Miles was nearly decapitated by a ceiling fan at the school.   You see, if you sleep, you die.  Maybe Rabbit was asleep when the tsunami got her.

Martha was pretty cranky with Liam.  I really really really hope she’s not pregnant.  I don’t think I could cope.

I hope the Diner does a coffee loyalty card because Myles has been lashing into it recently. But then again, it’s out of commission at the moment so he’s having to make do with home brew, and lots of it. All because Rabbit, his imaginary friend, has told him that he’ll die if he falls asleep.  So he’s been up all night, talking to his dead daughter.  And now he has to go into work, exhausted and scared.  Scared of a premonition from a girl with a history of successfully predicting the future.  It’s a bit funny that Miles, once the imaginary Milco, is now befriended by an imaginary friend of his own.  What would Sally make of it all?

Strewth mate, who were those hoons who wrecked the diner? And Hasim? Alf didn’t seem to recognise them.

Alf’s like Summer Bay’s John McClane*, putting out fires and setting things right. He’s really disappointed in his town. I thought he might burn the Aussie flag on the barbie.

Where were Supercops Charlie and Angelo when this was all going on? How come Ruby didn’t ring them instead of Aussie 999? She has the direct line, after all. Anyway the ambos showed up a few hours into the siege.

Also, why did Leah, Colleen, Irene and Ruby just sit in the kitchen while the two gents played Fireman Sam?

Miles’s imaginary friend Rabbit is psychic. That means Miles is psychic. I love a good mad storyline in Home and Away. This is like Sixth Sense or Fight Club. I hope there’s a montage later where it shows Miles talking to no-one. All we need now is Aboriginal Alf to show up and we’re laughing.

*That’s him below