New baddie alert

Tuesday, October 7th, 2014

Oh-ho, it looks like Sophie will be the Bay’s newest baddie. She doesn’t like Leah being friendly to her bloke, so she is spreading rumours about her fragile state of mind, and asked Leah if she needed to cut back on her work hours. Sly and conniving, so it is.

FAKE CONCERN!!!

FAKE CONCERN!!!

YOU WAGON

YOU WAGON

Nina was back in the Bay for a visit and Jett was thrilled. Marilyn nearly lost her mind over the cuteness of it all. She created a romantic dinner for two out the back of the caravan park. Jett was sad over Nina heading off again, so Marilyn’s invited her to the WEDDING OF THE YEAR.

Sasha is raging at Matt for writing his deadly poems and showing her up. She hasn’t owned up yet though, I notice.

Dead set legend

Monday, February 10th, 2014

Chris explained to Sasha that Spencer wasn’t into Evelyn, thus saving the relationship. He then pronounced himself a dead set legend, which is a phrase I will henceforth be using daily.

Casey couldn’t make a decision for himself, so off he went to prison to visit Brax.

Dump her

Dump her, oi

Then Casey found Tamara at the farm, dumped her (if she gets back with Kyle arghhhhhhhhHHHHHH), and then Dopey Dex and April asked them to be best man and bridesmaid! The thicks. Of course, the other two thicks will go along with it and pretend to be a couple.

Finally, Jett and Nina left the barn and came back to the real world, whereupon Mr. John Palmer rightly give out yards to his adopted son.

The Sniper

Wednesday, February 5th, 2014

Ok, we need to talk about this Sniper one. She is amazing. She walks around slagging off everyone and manages to keep her teaching job. Her exchange with Josh basically went like this:

You’re such a loser that your mother shot you, and she’s such a loser she missed. You come from a family of losers.

Just run-of-the-mill hate speech from your local neighbourhood teacher. Not only does she excel at sneering, she’s not too bad at sabotage either. She got that scobey young fella, Matt, to set a fire at the school, to frighten Bianca. A+ in the baddie department.

Dr. Accent must have had a day off, because he fit in a chat with Jett and Nina, a visit to the diner, a swim, and another chat with an injured Andy before teatime. You couldn’t do that and hold down a full-time job. Andy was ridiculously adamant that he couldn’t go to hospital, dunno why.

No sign of Harvey, and hope is waning in the caravan park. Will the wall of death claim yet another soul?

Dramatic deficit

Tuesday, February 4th, 2014

Once you get used to kidnappings, death threats and murder attempts it’s pretty hard to get used to quiet nights in with a pizza and a movie. This is the problem facing Casey and Tamara. They had a chat about their situation and discussed their scenario. ¬†How will they get over the lack of drama? Maybe they should invent a stalker or an assassin to put a bit of spark back into their relationship.

I’m a bit worried about Jett’s diet, it seems to consist solely of chip sandwiches and pizza, that can’t be too healthy for a growing boy. Nina was hiding out in his place but John found them and he told her parents. He was due to bring her back to boarding school but he fell asleep and the kids were gone when he woke up, they’ve done a runner.

April and Dex are heading to Paris. She’s got a place in the “University of Paris” and they’re going to move over together. Once they go and Indi leaves on her travels it will mean Sasha is the only Walker left in the bay, she’ll be oh so lonely.

Moping and moaning

Monday, January 20th, 2014

Maddy got into a row with Roo over Josh. The cops, namely a baldy cop called John, came looking for Maddy about the fire in the Mangrove River school, she doesn’t have an alibi. Roo doesn’t want Maddy to see Josh anymore so she went to see him in hospital and told him to steer clear. He took her advice and broke up with Maddy when she came to visit. Maddy isn’t very lucky in love, I’d say we’re in for another protracted period of moping and moaning.

Chris and Indi got rid of Robyn the psycho, she left town on the bus. They were very forgiving and aw her off with a “no hard feelings” goodbye. I think they were too easy on her. Indi is still a bit sad about Romeo, which is to be expected.

Jett gave John grief for not moving on with his life and telling Marilyn how he feels. John eventually got up the courage and said it to Marilyn, about effin time lads. Jett himself is doing it tough since Nina left town. Maybe he’ll fall for one of the new troubled teens from Mangrove River.

Ooh, lights!

Saturday, January 18th, 2014

People are very impressed by electricity in Summer Bay; fairy lights have long been a popular seduction tool. Tamara upped the ante and threw in a few baubles, and Casey was blown away. Cue romance!

Bianca met the Mangrove River head teacher, who presumed she’d be principal in Summer Bay too. She also taught Heath when he was a pup, and thinks he’s a total dope. Not very teacherly. Heath is hitting the books in an effort to prove her wrong.

Nina dumped Jett. It turned out her parents are sending her to boarding school so she doesn’t have to mix with the Mangrove River brats

Every time Casey and Tamara kiss, Kyle just *coincidentally* happens to be there. Robyn advised him to use a sob story to impress Tamara, just like she did with Chris. She told him her dad died. What a mega wagon. Kyle ratted her out straight away though. Indi was raging.

Great Scott

Sunday, October 27th, 2013

Heath waited until the altar to tell Bianca about his indiscretion. She responded with an open palm, and knocked him out. She will make a great Braxton.

Jett and Casey enlisted Kyle, to serenade Nina with an apology-ballad. It worked wonders. Maybe Heath should do the same.

Sad case

Monday, October 7th, 2013

Casey’s depressed so he’s resorted to the only logical solution to make things better, hit the grog at work. What a great plan? He’s a smart fella. It was all going swimmingly until Maddy decided to take a swig out of it on the beach. She confronted him over it and he agreed to give her a drink, the fool. The two of them went on the lock in the gym and got wasted. Roo found them there and was unimpressed. Casey is a dead man, he deserves to be fired if not jail for letting a minor get drunk on the premises. Roo gave Maddy a serve but she turned it back on Roo.

April has a new boss at work who’s a dragon. She treating April badly and April is going to extreme lengths to impress her. This is going to end badly.

VJ apologised to Nina for accusing her in the wrong, she never stole his Pokemon card in the first place. The kids are all mates again except for Jett who’s in the dog house with Nina. He’s been dumped and she won’t take him back. What if Veej and Nina end up going out? Poor Jett will freak out.

Optimus Prime in the microwave

Saturday, August 3rd, 2013

Casey revealed that when they were young, Heath put his Optimus Prime into the microwave when he was young. Casey is still hurting over it. Similarly Veej is still hurt over Nina stealing his Pokemon card when they were 9. It’s still a problem for him and he doesn’t want to be friends with Jett while they’re going out. Jett staged an intervention between them both. VJ told him to get stuffed and forced him to choose between mate and girlfriend. He chose Nina.

Sasha and Spencer had a showdown with Maddy. The truth is out in the open now, no more skulking around. Maddy said she was fine with their relationship but then she lost it in the diner when she saw them hold hands. Spencer found her at the bait shop for a chat and she’s ok about it now but doesn’t want to be the third wheel in their relationship.

Why does the Braxton house have a load of Samurai Swords on the wall? Surely that’s the last thing they need with their combustable tempers and propensity to row.

Ricky showed up and she’s going to give it a go with Brax. Should be easier now her evil bro is behind bars. She feels bad over what happened to Casey but Brax is trying to absolve her of any blame. Casey freaked out when he came home and found her pashing Brax. Cue the crazy eyes from Casey. Brax told him it wasn’t Ricky’s fault. Casey then decided to phone Tamara’s mother for some reason. What’s he up to?

And with that, they’re gone. No home and away until September 9th. What are we going to do?

Marilyn loves emoji

Wednesday, June 19th, 2013

Marilyn loves emoji. Of course she does. I bet she signs off every text xxxx M heart heart heart smiley face.

Jett had his very swish first date with Nina. They did some ridiculous things like texting each other instead of talking, and letting their pizza go cold. Overall, though, it was a success.

John invited Marilyn along to keep him company. I hope Gina’s not spinning in her grave.

Heath realised that he jumped the gun in asking Bianca to have another baby. She had an extreme reaction, saying she doesn’t want another baby, ever. In normal life, this would be a fairly dramatic decision. However, this is Home and Away, so EVER probably means…until winter.

Maddie is being a boring sap and mooning over Spencer, who she dumped, by the way. She put on a Roo-dress-in-training and is determined to win him back. I don’t care though.

I wonder how Irene is getting on in Greece. Has she changed her expression to Gawd Save Greece? Has she met her own Tom Conti?*

 

*Hat tip to PeterKevin there!

bring back miles
Original image from This is Oz



all the dead


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