Fully bashed

Tuesday, January 22nd, 2013

Lisa turned up to Sid’s house, fully bashed. If I were Sid I would have set Sasha “Killer” Walker on Lisa’s husband. All Lisa got was a chat from Sasha; she’s very wise.

Sasha went a bit mad  with jealousy when she heard about Casey’s imaginary friend, Tamara. I’m not so sure she was imaginary. However, her jealousy was explained when she confessed to Natalie that she might be pregnant! That’s right, in the grand old tradition of Summer Bay teenage pregnancies, following in the footsteps of Roo, Sophie, Angel, Chloe, Tasha, Kirsty, Cassie and Nicole, Sasha is up the duff. Hurray for another River Baby.


Blink and you’ll miss it

Tuesday, September 25th, 2012

Well, in the grand old tradition of leaving Summer Bay and never looking back, Lottie is off into the wide blue yonder, aka The City. She made the decision in a heartbeat, and was gone just as quick. Sasha wasn’t even informed. Pity, because Lottie was a good character – I don’t think they’ve ever had a lady Dex before.

Speaking of Dex, he and April made their own hurried decision: to move in together. They had no place to take it to the next level in private, so it’s off to the caravan park with them. Or they could have Martha’s old flat. Or the palace. Or Nicole’s house.

Brax “he’s a dog” Braxton finally fell prey to the lady counsellor’s charms. I cannot remember her name, nor believe that he put up with her constant questions. Sergeant Buckton must be spinning in her grave (but not changing her facial expression).

In real-life H&A news, Steve Peacocke aka Darryl Brax Braxton will be appearing at a nightclub in Maynooth in December. It’s true. Expect: leaning on things, saying “oi”, and calling people dogs.

Give me another chance

Thursday, September 6th, 2012

Ruby and Romeo had a beech side chat about things. They discussed this and that, failed relationship and non-existant pregnancies. She asked for another chance and Romeo said no. Not surprising really, when you’re girlfriend lies to you about something like that. Now that Romeo has cleared up that mess, the way is clear for an Rindi revival, or is it?

Enter the rockstar. Liam and Indi seem to be hitting it off recently. Let’s remember that he likes the younger ladies, see Belle and Nicole. I fear that a Rindi revival might be preempted by a Lindi liason.

Da Brax asked Marilyn out on a date and she said yes, which was pretty strange. Leah was as surprised as I was that she agreed to it. Anyway, poor Maz was just being used as an alibi so Da Brax could deny any involvement in Brax getting bashed. He got kidnapped outside Angelo’s and dumped in the bush. Maybe it’s time Darryl learns that you live by the bash, you could die by the bash.

Selina Roberts

Saturday, February 18th, 2012

Selina arrived in the bay with a bad attitude and a bad mother. She ditched them both and changed her ways to become a shining light of goodness by the time she left. She moved in with Irene and liked it so much that she even adopted her name.

Selina met a boy called Jesse. He was a bit of a bad boy but that wasn’t a problem for Selina. Selina was a great one for leading fellas up the stairs by the hand in Irene’s house which usually meant that they were about to take it to the next level. That happened quite a few times. She pioneered that move but many others have taken up that torch since then, including Gypsy, Martha and Nicole.

As well as dating Jessie, she also went out with Jack Wilson. Jack, like Selina, was a bit of a tearaway but had a good heart, don’t they all? Selina also had a fling with Damian, Irene’s son, which led to a teen pregnancy. She miscarried in the school which was pretty traumatic event for her.

She had many advertures during her time in the bay, which included joining a cult led by Saul. Saul had a powerful effect on Selina and became a bit obsessed with her. She overcame his brainwashing after her friends intervened but that wasn’t enough for Saul and he kidnapped her not once, not twice but three times. Persistance sometimes pays off but not in this case, he got shot to bits by the cops.

Selina had a thing for Stephen Matheson, one of the original cast members who made a return as an adult. This would have been fine except for the fact that he was Selina’s teacher. The broke off their illicit affair and he left town but she still harboured feelings for him when she was going out with Jesse. When she bumped into Stevo again, she couldn’t deny her feelings for him. They agreed to get married and managed to go through with it at the second attempt, the first was a non-starter what with all the kidnapping and shooting. The course of true love never did run smooth.

Cop killer

Monday, February 13th, 2012

I had suspected that Charlie might go out with a bang but that wasn’t what I was expecting. Who the hell was that? Was it Jake’s brother? Poor Charlie, 2 bullets to the chest, no way she could survive that in the real world . If only there were an amazing surgeon-pediatrician-MD-psychiatrist-nurse-ambo around to perform a life saving operation. Unfortunately for Charlie, the only one of those is banged up for bashing Stew.

Ever since Nicole left town, there’s been an absence of promiscuity. Maybe April is auditioning for the new Nicole. She’s following in a long line of good girls gone bad stretching back to Selina via Martha and Nicole along the way. April was going to do her best to take it to the next level and it didn’t matter who it was with, even her sister’s ex. She and Heath went straight from level zero to all the way. She was thrilled when she woke up next to him the following morning. Seeing him hop out the window made me nostalgic for the glory days of Belle and Aden. Bianca is going to flip when she finds out, that would be a mighty bombshell to blow up on her wedding day.

On a boat

Monday, November 7th, 2011

Could Romeo’s business be back on track? Harvey is trying to make amends for his earlier mistakes and pay Romeo back for saving his life. Alf can see that it makes sense as a business idea, but Romeo seems more circumspect. I reckon Harvey’s near death experience has made him turn over a new leaf. If Roo agrees to a date then we’ll know for sure that he’s on the straight and narrow as she always seems to have good judgment.

Sid gave Sasha the mother of all bollockings. She was, as he said irresponsible, but it seemed she felt bad enough about it already so maybe Sid could have timed things better. Dex and Indi were really helpful and friendly when little Felix was brought home from the hospital. It’s about time Sasha got the chip off her shoulder and started to appreciate the effort all of the Walkers are making for her and Felix. Sasha lost it with Sid when he couldn’t convince Felix’s dad to part with his son after a five-minute chat which was a bit unfair on poor Sid.

The diner is all changed now. Roo & Marilyn are running it while Leah and Irene are off work. Roo put her neck on the line for Sasha in the diner. I hope that she doesn’t live to regret it. Roo has a habit of adopting a younger protege, see Nicole and Indi in the past. Is there anything that Roo can’t do?



Wednesday, July 20th, 2011

There were so many things wrong with Indi and Romeo’s decision to get married. The very worst thing of all, though, was that they did it without Dexter. Very feckin’ mean. They convinced Sid to go along with it in about thirty seconds.

Some other observations:

Romeo’s outfit was like a ninja’s.
Roo’s dress was like a tent.
Sid obviously liked it.
Roo is a woman of principle.

Perhaps Indi and Romeo could go and live in marital bliss in Nicole’s disused house.

Girlfriend for hire

Wednesday, July 13th, 2011

Dexter has devised a cunning plan.  In order to make April jealous, he’s hired Kate to hang around the surf club with him, acting like his girlfriend. In exchange for these services, Kate will receive biology grinds from devious Dex.  But she’s no dopey dupe, she’s onto him.  Has Dexter met his match?

Marilyn got to say her goodbye with George and Nicole in the city. Very touching indeed. Sid wasn’t too impressed.  I give it a week or two before the two of them break up, but maybe there’ll be a bit more flirtation between Sid and Roo. Sid and Marilyn always seemed a strange pairing and Sid wasn’t too pushed on the adoption idea. Maybe it’s for the best if they call it quits.


Tuesday, July 12th, 2011

In a very unsurprising turn of events, the River Boys were found with a load of dope on the boat. Unfortunately, Captain Romeo got dragged into it too. Morag was raging. She wanted to fire Romeo, but Roo came to his rescue, saying she’d be his mentor. Celebrity Apprentice Down Unda or what?

Marilyn misses George; she went over to Miles’ looking for his new address. Miles said no, due to her history of nicking sprogs. Anyway, Nicole rang shortly afterwards. Probably looking for tips on how to raise a baby.

Farewell Nicole & Angelo

Wednesday, July 6th, 2011

I’ll miss Nicole and Angelo. Don’t think I can say the same for baby George as I haven’t had as much time to get to know him. They had some good storylines in fairness. What about the time Nicole trying it on with holy Geoff? Who can forget the time that Angelo shot his colleague Jack? How we laughed.

The bay will be a duller place without them. At least we have Marilyn to keep us amused. Child kidnapping isn’t a bad way to keep the town talking. Luckily for her, Nic isn’t pressing charges so she got away with that one.

Is Roo some kind of world class problem solver? She’s a one woman A-team. She defused the kidnapping situation and made sure George got back to Nicole in one piece. I wonder if part of her wouldn’t have minded to see Marilyn locked up, leaving a clear path to Sid. Given her mental state and all of the flirtatious texting going on, I think the doctor would be on for that scenario too.

bring back miles
Original image from This is Oz

all the dead

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