Hurray, Home and Away madness is back!  Today’s episode started with the ominous title “Six months ago”, and a shady figure having a great oul’ laugh at Alf on that documentary where he laments the hoons who’ve ruined his town.  Fast forward to the present day and there’s a strange new character at the diner chatting up Irene.  Strewth.  He seems to be a new love interest for Nicole (at least those are her intentions) but I bet he’s going to CHANGE THE BAY FOREVER.

That aside, there’s a “sexy” love triangle going on between Gina, John and Jill.  Very alliterative.  Jill wants John, John wants Gina but will make do with Jill, and Gina’s not sure if she wants John, but she definitely doesn’t want Jill to have him.  Romeo’s on Gina’s side, apparently she’s like a mother to him.  Phew.

Well Hugo is back big-stylee now.  Martha took him straight back into her arms without a word about his people-smuggling.  At least Gina gave him a dressing-down for being a massive criminal.

The Austins are surprisingly adept at fobbing off the bobbies.  Love how Xavier said “It’s the cops” when Angelo and Charlie came to the door, as if he’d never met them before.   Anyway Gina cranked up her headmistress skills and YCPD were slinking out with their tails between their legs.

Gina was nice to Miles, though, even if she was delivering the bad news that he might not get his job back at the school.  Bet he doesn’t think Rabbit was so deadly now.

Apparently Aden has left.  I totally missed that; I must have been making a cup of tea or something.  The exits are very swift these days.  Nicole is totally over it though, Liam Murphy sorted her out with some bonza advice.  By the by, they now have a ping-pong table in the caravan park.  Bounce.

What a dramatic few days in Summer Bay.  Rabbit helped Miles rescue Leah, Elijah, and a rake of kids from being gassed on their school trip.  Somehow this meant that it was time for Rabbit to leave.  So she headed off with her ma down the beach.  Poor Miles was in bits over it.  There was no explanation of Rabbit’s psychic powers though.  I think we should put this in the Alf-as-aborigine box and accept we’ll never know the answer.

Nicole, being egged on by Justin, broke up with Aden as he wouldn’t say he loved her.  So he went off into the wide blue yonder with Justin.  No doubt he’ll join the army too.

Hugo’s back.  Martha decided everyone should know that he is in witness protection so she told Xavier and then went down the diner to tell everyone else.  She did it in the same room as Colleen; she must have the memory of a goldfish.  Anyway then Xavier told Ruby, and later met Hugo on a random road in the Bay.  Hugo was sporting some fine stubble and hiding under a hat.  The bad guys will never look there.

“I’m no lawyer love, but it seems to me that Aden’s in a bit of strife”, proclaimed Alf to Nicole when discussing her boyfriend’s upcoming murder charge. He may not have his sister’s law skills but he has her whipped when it comes to understatements.

Aden and Justin, his brother with the dopey voice, decided to continue their midnight escapades by returning to the scene of the crime, the spot where they buried their dad. Charlie knows something is up and is on the case, searching hard to find some clues as to what happened to Mr. Jeffries. But she was a little too slow here as the amateur undertakers found the body and got out of there before the YCPD could track them down. Another victory for the boys and girls in blue.

Justin had a heart to heart with Nicole and told him that Aden should join the army to sort his life out.  He’s said this a few times but never really explained why his thinks a military life would be the solution to Aden’s problems.  He expected Nicole to understand as her own dad, the much missed Roman, was in the SAS, but she seemed as confused as I am as to why it’s a good plan.

Yippee, Marilyn is back and she brought a stray with her!  It’s Justin Jeffries, Aden’s brother.  I wonder if he’ll move into Nicole’s house?

Alf and Irene explained to some of the blow-ins who Marilyn is.  Colleen is holding a grudge because Marilyn dumped Lancey – fair enough, he was an amazing catch.

Xavier wants to live with Martha.  For some reason he seems to like slavery.

Building on the bonza idea that Drew’s Shrew had about a cross-over Home and Away/Heroes show, commenter Sorry for being a crazy dingo has given us a deadly list of Home and Away character super-powers:

1. ALF – grows gills when he jumps in the water and swims underwater, like a fish which is kind of ironic.
2. COLLEEN – able to speak any language at will and talk to animals, that means she can gossip with anyone or anything.
3. MILES – the ability to eat food without ever getting full. (Sounds like a crappy superpower, but in later seasons he will discover he has a psychic conscience named Rabbit).
4. NICOLE – the ability to attract any person at will with her beauty.
5. JAI – the ability to be invincible.
6. IRENE – the ability to attract troubled children into her lair.
7. ANGELO – the ability to cause amnesia to others (everyone, including Martha, seems to have forgiven him for killing Jack and covering up the murder).
8. CHARLIE – the ability to change sexuality at will.
9. RUBY – the ability to screech so loud, it causes one’s ears to bleed.
10. GINA – the ability to convince people that she’s actually Tony’s sister and not his grandmother.
11. XAVIER – the same ability as Ruby.
12. MARTHA – the ability to never grieve and be constantly sexually promiscuous.
13. LIAM – the ability to be completely forgotten about only few months after being an Australian megastar.
14. ADEN – the same ability as Martha.
15. LEAH – the ability to be as sexy as Penelope Cruz but no-one in town appearing to notice.mink
16. RACHEL – the ability to heal, in all areas of medicine.
17. TONY – the ability of super strength.
18. ROMEO – the ability to to…eh…surf…REALLY REALLY WELL. (That one sucked).
19. MINK – the ability to stare at someone and kill them. What a bad ass!
20. VJ – the ability to shoot water bombs from his hands.
21. MORAG – the ability to be the best lawyer ever.
22. RABBIT – the ability to rise from the dead, be psychic and make herself invisible to all but Miles.

What do you reckon?  Do you have any others to add?

Nothing major happened in episode 5000, but that didn’t matter because…Brendan’s back!  Just on holidays, mind; he’ll be going back to Ruby 2 shortly.

Liam took an overdose because he saw Nicole and Aden kissing on the beach.  People should look around before they start kissing by the Summer Bay sea.

Romeo’s sister arrived.  For a second I thought she was the imaginary girl.  She looks feisty, at any rate.  She’ll surely shake up the caravan park.

In today’s episode, Ruby got Geoff to take it to the next level with her.  What was her secret weapon?  Fairy lights.  Geoff loves them, can’t get enough of them, thinks they are dead sexy.

Nicole, in the space of about two hours, found out Liam cheated on her, broke up with him, and decided she was in love with Aden.  The girl must be working to a deadline.  Also, her hair was deadly tied up.

Aden got the ok to move on from dead Belle, so he quit his job, nicked a car, and took Nicole on a spin.  Not his brightest move.

Finally, Leah got Miles to eat something.  I miss the days when he was eating in every scene.

“Aden’s the most important person in my life, except for Liam”.

So Nicole finally seems to be coping on to the fact that she loves Aden. This love triangle has been bubbling under for a while now.  I expect her to declare her true feelings to Aden, recently bereaved Aden, and he’ll go with it. Luckily he got a letter from Belle, from beyond the grave.  No doubt she saw the future and is telling him to get on with his own life, i.e. get it on with Nicole.  Her impending death from a terminal illness caused acute powers of precognition.  I wonder if she also told him the Lotto numbers and the winner of the Melbourne cup?

Happy Australia day Summer bay!