Women’s Health

Monday, September 9th, 2013

It’s back, it’s back! Hurrah!


Ol’ Crazy Eyes Braxton is back!

Leah’s gaff is looking well, eh? I’m glad she put the break to good use, unlike some of her compatriots in Summer Bay:

  • Natalie spent it mooning after Brax
  • Brax spent it huffing and puffing and thrashing it out with Ricky
  • Ricky spent it hanging around the Bay even though most of the Braxtons hate her
  • Heath spent it showing off his Darcy Nipple Rocco tattoo
  • Bianca spent it wearing red negligees in front of everyone
  • April spent it trying to cheer up Dex
  • Dex spent it moping because April won’t marry him (yet)
  • Darcy’s granny spent it bringing ominous news…

Did you see Heath on Twotube before the episode? Bet he didn’t know he was talking to fellow soap star Denise from Glenroe!

Change of Life

Monday, July 8th, 2013

Well, John is annoyed with Marilyn, so she asked Harvey to talk to him to see if he was coping ok, so Harvey told him that Roo is going through the menopause. Which she isn’t. John told Roo, who was not impressed. All these hurt feelings are causing awful confusion.

Holly is still cracking on to Zach. Very strange. Why would she be bothered? Anyway, he has told Nat, who advised him to tell Bianca. He won’t and then Holly will accuse him of molestation and then where will we all be? Hah?

Rosie hasn’t told her foster parents she’s up the duff. Has anyone told Mullins? Is he going to jail or anything, like? Or is it all ok once he has left town, like Ruby?

Heath and Brax now know that the joint Casey has allegedly robbed belongs to Adam. This is only confusing them further. Bianca got cross with Heath so he went home, instead of fending off crims. Will she be kidnap victim number 3?

The widow Walker

Monday, July 1st, 2013

Maddie is still down in the dumps because Spencer is no longer giving her his unconditional attention. She seems annoyed that he isn’t heart-broken over their latest break-up. She got upset on the beach and he gave her a hug, overseen by Zac. Zac thinks that she only booked a counselling session with Nat to get some notice from Spencer.

Marilyn was fretting over John and their conversations. She thought he had the hots for her but was afraid to say it to him. She sat him down and told him her fears but he said they were groundless, he is far from ready to move on from Gina, they’re just friends and Marilyn feels awful.

Indi is doing it tough. Sid advised her to let go of Romeo as he’s probably passed away by now. It might be time for her to take to her surf board again, something she found hard to do while her husband was still alive, as it was something they had done together. It’s going to be difficult for the young Walker widow, she’ll have to find a way move on, dipping her toe back in the surf could be the first step on that journey.

The Boize: Private Detective Agency

Wednesday, June 26th, 2013

That episode was way more crack.

Firstly, Casey is in a remand centre as a result of being arrested for armed robbery. Brax came to visit and give out about Casey giving a statement without their lawyer there. Neither of them know their lawyer’s name. Brax also assured Casey that The Boize are on the case. The Boize don’t seem to have names either, and if it was down to them, Case would be inside for manys a long year.

Rosie is not facing up to the realities of being a teenage mum. She is counting on Sasha, Spencer (who has only been her friend for a week) and Zach for support. Why she doesn’t talk to Natalie or Roo, who actually had a teenage pregnancy (and is still wearing the clothes), is beyond me.

A random bitchy character cropped up today – Holly. She is there to slag Rosie off in general. Summer Bay High is great for the odd wagon, remember that one that bullied Jett?

The episode ended with Brax sitting in what seemed to be an outside kitchen. Very weird. He was on the whiskey, which as everyone knows, is only for consumption in ditches. Ricky is being a great support to everyone. If I were her I’d scarper, especially as Brax has sworn to kill the dog that landed Casey in the clink again.

The exorcism

Tuesday, June 18th, 2013

April has a problem. Being in Dex’s gaff reminds her of the fact that he was with Steph. Their combined wisdom came up with the solution of conducting an exorcism i.e. throwing out his mattress and bed linen. Smart move lads, now they have to go back and sleep in Irene’s.

Heath is trying to make friends with April and Dex. Heath suggested knocking back a few cold ones but lunchtime was too early for Dex. I can see the two of them becoming firm mates.

Zac is in the doghouse for not agreeing with Natalie. She reckons that he is not qualified to deal with the kids and he says she’s jealous of his connection with them so she made him sleep in his car. Bianca told them to zip it and sort it out. A beach pow wow later and they’re giving it another go.

Jett has a girlfriend. John is thrilled for him but sad that he can’t share it with Gina. Jett’s girlfriend wants to be taken on a proper date, which is a bit much at 14. I would have thought hanging out on the beach or the diner would have been enough for them.

Rosie duffed

Monday, June 17th, 2013

Poor Rosie now has a teenage pregnancy* to deal with. Sid set out the options and she has a big decision ahead of her. She has an ace support team in the form of Sasha, Spencer, Sid, Zac and now Natalie. I can’t see this staying secret for very long.

Maddie is put out at all the attention Spencer is paying Rosie. Obviously, he can’t reveal what’s going on, which is making her angrier. She presumed that Spence and Rosie are becoming an item, until Roo pointed out she was jumping the gun a bit. That criss-cross dress of Roo’s is particularly mad, even for her.

Natalie is put out too, as she was thwarted in her nosiness by a reactive and sensible Zac. She pointed out that he didn’t play by the school rules, but he retorted that she is just feeling left out. Haha, Natalie ya moan.

* Previous teenage pregnancies include: Roo, Sophie, Selina, Angel, Kirsty, Cassie. Previous abortions include…only Martha, I think?

Undercover ninja

Monday, May 27th, 2013

Zac is going to teach self-defence classes at the school as he has fighting skills (judo?), Rosie and Sasha are going to sign up. As well as that, he’s also going to be teaching at the school, English and society classes, nice parting gift from Gina. Himself and Nat need a new housemate in Leah’s gaff now Liam is gone but Zac vetoed Kyle when he applied, no dogs, no Braxtons. Nat was unimpressed and told him that their Braxton ban has run out, Kyle is moving in straight away.

Dex is having a tough time keeping ahead of the advances of his girlfriend Steph, the naughty nurse. As it happens, she could do with spending more time on her job and less trying to get it on with Nurse Walker. Dex noticed that she’s not attending to her duties correctly. Dex tried to cover for her negligence, but they had a diner pow wow and he dressed her down over it.This could be problematic for their relationship.

Brax isn’t enjoying having Ricky hold out info on him. She told him that she’s trying to clean up Adam’s messes and debts, she’s under a lot of stress. Brax is going to help her out with an “oi” and a lean over some furniture. He’s eager to take on other people’s problems.


Thursday, May 9th, 2013

Four pretty boring storylines there:

  • April found out Dex was sleeping with The Nurse. She didn’t realise it was really over.
  • Maddie told Spencer he can go home if he wants, but she’s not going.
  • Natalie has given up her Braxton Ban big-stylee
  • Brax is pursuing Ricky, who seems to be a wildlife photographer.


Rosie raped

Tuesday, May 7th, 2013

Rosie was raped by “Mullens”, after a pash in his car. She went straight to Sasha, who should be the town counsellor instead of Natalie. After a face-off with Mullens, who seems to think he did nothing wrong, they went to the police. There are no local characters down the cop shop anymore, so maybe her case will be handled correctly. Fingers crossed.

Sid told Sash and Dex about Romeo. Dex told April. It’ll spread like wildfire.

In his grief, Dex managed to score his nurse mate. He told April that being friends wasn’t working out, and that they should avoid each other. She’s not impressed.

Spencer took off with his brother, who so boring I can’t remember his name. Harvey is mega-worried. He sees Spencer as a reincarnation of his dead son Ben, not literally, but he likes having a son figure about. It’s gas how Maddie and Spencer arrived about a month ago, and now Harvey says he doesn’t know what he’d do if Spence left. Ah, relax.

Maddie is taking up life-saving, with Jett. Will there be a near-drowning incident?

Gina took some tablets for a headache. No-one in the Bay ever has minor ailments. Also, the Palmer family is a bit too happy. They’ve almost adopted Jett.

Natalie’s fella (who is also so boring I can’t remember his name) wants a job from Gina, but his crim record is getting in the way. Sickener, Teach.


P.S. Dr. Sid tweeted us!

Boxing brothers

Thursday, May 2nd, 2013

Romeo and Indi had their last hurrah by the lighthouse before he told her about his condition. She said she’s ready to have children with him, bad timing as he’s dying. He wrote her a letter and left it by her side as she slept. Brave move dude.

Heath and Bianca had their engagement party in Angelo’s. It was a classy affair, all of the River Boys put on their fancy cloths. Tamara wore a dress for the first time, thanks to April’s help. Adam’s sister Ricky showed up and Brax did a good bit of flirting with her. That was all going fine until Natalie showed up. Kyle got a bit jealous when looking at Casey and Tamara pashing. Then Cheryl showed up to cause havoc but she liked Tamara, surprisingly. Bianca on the other hand, she hates. Kyle got locked and faced off with Casey, who knocked him out after Ma Braxton told everybody that he has the hots for Tamara.

Liam turned up to say goodbye to the bay, forever. He’s off to spend more time with his son. He had to go really, there were no more employment options left for him in the Bay, he’s tried teacher, rock star, barman, restaurateur, he’s just on the dole now, so he may as well cruise off. Farewell rock star, again, I thought he was gone two weeks ago but this time it’s for real.

bring back miles
Original image from This is Oz

all the dead

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