Building on the bonza idea that Drew’s Shrew had about a cross-over Home and Away/Heroes show, commenter Sorry for being a crazy dingo has given us a deadly list of Home and Away character super-powers:

1. ALF:  grows gills when he jumps in the water and swims underwater, like a fish which is kind of ironic.
2. COLLEEN:  able to speak any language at will and talk to animals, that means she can gossip with anyone or anything.
3. MILES:  the ability to eat food without ever getting full. (Sounds like a crappy superpower, but in later seasons he will discover he has a psychic conscience named Rabbit).
4. NICOLE:  the ability to attract any person at will with her beauty.
5. JAI:  the ability to be invincible.
6. IRENE: the ability to attract troubled children into her lair.
7. ANGELO: the ability to cause amnesia to others (everyone, including Martha, seems to have forgiven him for killing Jack and covering up the murder).
8. CHARLIE: the ability to change sexuality at will.
9. RUBY: the ability to screech so loud, it causes one’s ears to bleed.
10. GINA: the ability to convince people that she’s actually Tony’s sister and not his grandmother.
11. XAVIER: the same ability as Ruby.
12. MARTHA: the ability to never grieve and be constantly sexually promiscuous.
13. LIAM: the ability to be completely forgotten about only few months after being an Australian megastar.
14. ADEN: the same ability as Martha.
15. LEAH: the ability to be as sexy as Penelope Cruz but no-one in town appearing to notice.
16. RACHEL: the ability to heal, in all areas of medicine.
17. TONY: the ability of super strength.
18. ROMEO: the ability to surf REALLY REALLY WELL. (That one sucked).
19. MINK: the ability to stare at someone and kill them. What a bad ass!
20. VJ: the ability to shoot water bombs from his hands.
21. MORAG: the ability to be the best lawyer ever.
22. RABBIT: the ability to rise from the dead, be psychic and make herself invisible to all but Miles.

What do you reckon? Do you have any others to add?

The Summer Bay time warp seems to be back in operation; the diner has been rebuilt in record time.   I hope they’ve put in a back door and fire alarm this time.

Miles was nearly decapitated by a ceiling fan at the school.   You see, if you sleep, you die.  Maybe Rabbit was asleep when the tsunami got her.

Martha was pretty cranky with Liam.  I really really really hope she’s not pregnant.  I don’t think I could cope.

Martha is the cheeriest widow in Australia.  Her fella isn’t cold in the ground and she couldn’t be in better form.  Liam has moved into her gaff and her bed.  All he has to do is a few chores around the farm to keep her happy.  Martha trades sex for labour.  She’s like some kind of agrarian hooker.  Colleen said that she has a fragile mental state but how is that any different from normal?

There was a lot of quick moving in that episode.  Hugo’s “funeral” was about a week ago, so it’s about time Martha moved on.  First, she expertly roped Liam into working on the farm, then asked him to move in, then leapt on him.  The girl wastes no time.

Furthermore, Geoff made a life decision and left the Bay to be a missionary in the space of about three hours.  Ruby didn’t look too happy at all.  He didn’t even tell Xavier or anyone else in town.

Miles helped Leah get over her agoraphobia.  She did some pretty good acting so there’s not much to slag off there really.

Did you see the face on Charlie when Angelo was promoted above her?  So disgusted.  At least they discussed it and now it’s sorted (boss).

I never thought I’d say this, but Alf is being really annoying with his constant threats to leave the Bay.  Just go, so.  Himself and Angelo became great mates within the space of a day, downing tinnies in the Caravan Park of an evening.

Why did Geoff take advice from Martha, the walking disaster area?  “Get saltwater into the wound”, she said.  Geoff doesn’t get metaphors, so he ripped off his bandages and lepped into the sea.  I wonder what Doctor Armstrong will have to say about that.  Maybe it’s a radical new therapy they use in Summer Bay.

I don’t understand why Alf and Geoff are so traumatised.  Fair enough with Leah as her fella got bashed in front of her very eyes.  But all the two lads were doing was firefighting until the authorities arrived.  Unless they still can’t believe that everyone else sat on the floor and left them to deal with the disaster.  That’d leave a sour taste in my mouth, too.

Who will counter Ruby’s mad ideas?  Who will bring up religion occasionally? Who will look confused all day long (ok, there’s Martha for that)?

I guess you have your reasons.

Well, Hugo got off in the end, he’s gone to the big people-smuggling depot in the sky.  He was a crap villain anyway.

Angelo survived getting shot in the head, he’s just like that fella, Kurt Cobain.  How did he survive that?*

I do believe Martha said at one point, “I don’t know what’s going on”, which I thought was default mode for her.  She forgave Angelo for shooting Jack anyway.

Bungbung/Bangbang/Bumbum has gone back to his dad now that he has learned English and how to play the guitar.  Those guys are going to go far.  Martha looked pretty sad.  After all, she just lost a farm slave.

So, that’s the end of the mystery.  It was a long time coming and was quite good in the end.  I don’t really think it’s CHANGED SUMMER BAY FOREVER though.

*See Father Ted

It turns out that Hugo can speak Indonesian after all, and that’s not all he was hiding.  He was involved in the people smuggling ring as Angelo suspected.  He took his boat out to sea and tried to make Charlie swim over to an island, because she can connect him with the people smuggling.  Maybe he saw her energetic dancing and thinks she’d be well able to do a marathon swim. She pulled a sly one on him and got his gun but now Suzy is on the warpath and they’re all in trouble.

Poor old Constable Risotto got shot in the head for his troubles by diving in front of Martha and saving her from a bullet.  Don’t know why he bothered.  It’s not like a bullet to the head could have done any brain damage to her, sure nobody would know the difference.

No expenses were spared in todays episode.  They had aerial shots of the city and the bay. This is bound to be a ratings winner.  Sure it’s high drama all round.

Ooooh how dramatic!  Martha/Marta got kidnapped by evil Suzy, and Charlie got pistolwhipped by Hugo for uncovering his nest of refugees.  Wowee!

Good non-cop work by Angelo too; he got a handsome cop to free Derrick the Weirdo, who then led him straight to Suzy.  Angelo will have his day yet!

Where did Miles go?  He was bawling on the beach and left a trail of footsteps into the ocean.  Alf didn’t seem too worried about it though.

Colleen is the world’s best drunk.  I vote that she henceforth be drunk in all scenes.

And she’s only 25!