Home and Away Ireland » martha

STD Tree

Ailsa — Wed, 29 Jun 2011 08:54:41 +0000

Help us solve this mystery, where did the chlamydia originate? Have we left someone out?

Edit: it doesn’t matter, Ruby doesn’t have chlamydia, so the buck stops with Emily.

Martha back on telly

Ailsa — Sun, 08 May 2011 16:36:32 +0000

Only down unda, though. I wonder if she’ll do any of the following:

pole dancing
deafen someone with a fake spider
people smuggling
be widowed
remarry

It’s gonna take a lot to drag me away from you

Ailsa — Wed, 26 Jan 2011 21:48:26 +0000

I watched an episode of South Park last night, in which Cartman and a few pals went off to Somalia to be pirates. Sounds like Veej was watching it too. He and Lily are planning on running off to Africa. I’d love to know their travel plans. Do Aussie airlines let pre-teens fly on their own? Wait till you see how flustered Leah will be when Veej goes missing. She can’t even handle a busy diner. Will will probably tear Irene’s house down, brick by brick.

Joanna, ma of Bianca and April, warned Liam Murphy off her elder daughter. Surely that’s just a challenge to the Summer Bay Rockstar? And another thing, what happened to Liam’s house?

Gina told Xave and John about the plan to send the money to Hugo and Dumbo. JP knows a lot about money laundering for a daycent Aussie businessman. By the by, how come Xavier didn’t spend any of the money? Not even to buy parts for his fixie car?

Roo’s ruse

Flathead — Mon, 17 Jan 2011 21:10:50 +0000

Did Roo just come back to try and get the money from Xavier? All of her chats with Alf and appologies may have just been a cover to her real reason for being in the Bay. Hugo wants his ill gotten gains back to build a new life for Martha and him, one built on blood money. They are a stupid pair and deserve each other.

Here’s Roo pulling another scam 20 years ago. Her hair was different then.

There’s been a murder

Ailsa — Wed, 05 Jan 2011 19:00:42 +0000

from sydney.jollypeople.com

Robert Robertson is back in force after his Christmas break. He’s interviewed a few of the locals and found out that Alf told Penn he’d “flamin’ kill” him, on the very night he was “murdered”.

I bet Penn’s hiding out somewhere. Probably with Hugo and Martha, in the secret Aussie hiding place.

Dr. Sid called around to deliver Nicole’s HIV results. She’s clear. That’s probably because she didn’t hang out with HIV Henk much.

Will and Irene had a good oul’ heart to heart. He cheated on Gypsy and she ran away. That’s why the young one is afraid Daddy Will Smith will run off too. She doesn’t want to go to school either, probably because she’s the only child in Summer Bay.

Too steamy

Ailsa — Tue, 21 Sep 2010 08:09:57 +0000

A scene between Liam and Martha has been deemed “too steamy” for young audiences. You’d expect nothing less from Martha, though.

Roo returns

Ailsa — Thu, 12 Aug 2010 08:32:58 +0000

Struth has alerted us to the fact that Roo, daughter of Alf and mother of Martha, is returning to Summer Bay. She will be played by a new actress; I love this madness. They did it with Irene, Hayley, Pippa, and who knows how many else.

Bad timing on Roo’s behalf though, her daughter’s just skipped town.

Great birthday present

Ailsa — Wed, 07 Jul 2010 19:51:06 +0000

Unbelieveable. Kate Ritchie introducing the Summer Bay weddings of the past. We had a pregnant (with Martha?) Roo running out on Frank, Alf and Ailsa slying off to become man and wife, and Angel miraculously rising from her wheelchair to walk down the aisle. Not to mention Don and Marilyn’s nuptials, and Hayley’s ghost dad giving her away. Hayley was always seeing ghosts. Do yis want a lend?

The lives and loves of Martha McKenzie

Flathead — Thu, 01 Jul 2010 18:13:22 +0000

Methodical? Never.

Mysterious? Sometimes.

Misunderstood? Often

Monogamous? Rarely.

Moron? Always.

Martha. Summer bay is a poorer place without it’s resident wild card. You can say many things about her but life was never dull with her around. It’s hard to know where to start with her.

She arrived in town with a flash when Jack dared her to streak naked along the seafront. Alf was unimpressed but he had to get used to these kind of shenanigans from his grand daughter. She later went onto appear in a strip club as a pole dancer which was classic H&A viewing. She wasn’t slow in showing her assets.

Yes, it was never dull with old Martha. She was the subject of regular kidnappings, attempted murder, car crashes, cancer, miscarriages and any kind of disaster going really. The bay will miss it’s resident queen of drama.

She knew when to fight for what was right, such as when she saved Tasha from Mama Rose and the cult. She also knew when to forgive and forget with Jonah’s past and Hugo’s people smuggling. Bit of a goldfish memory.

Martha had a talent for making snap decisions. This is what made herself and Jack such a good match. Life changing choices like “I’m going to buy a farm”, “I’m adopting Bum bum” or “I’m leaving the bay” would be made in space of a lunch hour. It would often be followed by the rational of “I’ve thought about it” – for a whole five minutes, went unsaid.

What of her lovers? Let us count the names. I’ll start with Jack. I wonder if we can name them all?

Hugo & Martha leave with a bang

Flathead — Sun, 27 Jun 2010 19:32:48 +0000

Martha and Hugo have left the bay like “Bonnie and Clive” according to Colleen. They went on the run after another near death experience with Hugo involved. This time is was the crook cop Eaves who took a pop at Hugo but only managed to clip him in the leg. Charlie and Angelo managed to apprehend bent Eaves and bring him to justice. Making it a good day for the law in the bay, they also arrested people smuggler Hugo and his enabler Martha. But for some reason, Sergeant Risotto decided to release the pair of them so they could go on the run. Away with them, the single men of the bay will sleep easy with Martha gone.

Poor Hugo

Flathead — Tue, 22 Jun 2010 09:57:16 +0000

“You guys are smart and Martha’s even smarter than you”. Xavier knows how to insult his brother. Talk about a backhanded compliment. Related posts: Bye bye Rabbit and Aden, hello Hugo Annie is the only one in the bay who gets it Hugo Related posts:

This better not be a joke!

Ailsa — Sat, 19 Jun 2010 15:55:57 +0000

“I need to leave.” Martha did really say that, didn’t she? Related posts: Blind leading the blind What’s happened? Is Martha the maddest person in the bay? Related posts:

Whogo

Ailsa — Wed, 26 May 2010 20:11:38 +0000

Well Hugo is back big-stylee now. Martha took him straight back into her arms without a word about his people-smuggling. At least Gina gave him a dressing-down for being a massive criminal.

The Austins are surprisingly adept at fobbing off the bobbies. Love how Xavier said “It’s the cops” when Angelo and Charlie came to the door, as if he’d never met them before. Anyway Gina cranked up her headmistress skills and YCPD were slinking out with their tails between their legs.

Gina was nice to Miles, though, even if she was delivering the bad news that he might not get his job back at the school. Bet he doesn’t think Rabbit was so deadly now.

Apparently Aden has left. I totally missed that; I must have been making a cup of tea or something. The exits are very swift these days. Nicole is totally over it though, Liam Murphy sorted her out with some bonza advice. By the by, they now have a ping-pong table in the caravan park. Bounce.

Bye bye Rabbit and Aden, hello Hugo

Ailsa — Sat, 22 May 2010 18:13:28 +0000

What a dramatic few days in Summer Bay. Rabbit helped Miles rescue Leah, Elijah, and a rake of kids from being gassed on their school trip. Somehow this meant that it was time for Rabbit to leave. So she headed off with her ma down the beach. Poor Miles was in bits over it. There was no explanation of Rabbit’s psychic powers though. I think we should put this in the Alf-as-aborigine box and accept we’ll never know the answer.

Nicole, being egged on by Justin, broke up with Aden as he wouldn’t say he loved her. So he went off into the wide blue yonder with Justin. No doubt he’ll join the army too.

Hugo’s back. Martha decided everyone should know that he is in witness protection so she told Xavier and then went down the diner to tell everyone else. She did it in the same room as Colleen; she must have the memory of a goldfish. Anyway then Xavier told Ruby, and later met Hugo on a random road in the Bay. Hugo was sporting some fine stubble and hiding under a hat. The bad guys will never look there.

The game’s up

Flathead — Tue, 11 May 2010 18:10:13 +0000

It was a day of revelations in the Bay. Firstly, we had both Aden and his brother Justin trying to take the wrap for burying the Dad’s body affair. Each one is trying to keep the other one out of it but ultimately they’ll be found out. Sure lies never last long in the Bay.

Then we had Alf and Angelo get sprung talking about Hugo in front of Martha. If braindead super sleuth Martha can figure out that you’re keeping secrets then you’re really in trouble. Hugo’s cover will be blown in no time once Martha finds out the truth. I hope his witness protection scheme is better than Vinny’s: a farm worker who moonlighted as a teddy bear at children’s parties and died from sceptic wounds, suffered in a farming accident. You couldn’t make it up.

I don’t really understand why she’s upset about his death again now. It’s like she forgot about him for a few months then remembered who he was all of a sudden. Didn’t they break up before he “died” anyway?

Resplendent princess

Ailsa — Mon, 03 May 2010 20:11:23 +0000

Annie and Romeo are now officially in love. The oul light-a-few-candles-and-set-up-a-discoball trick worked. They’re love’s young dream.

Ruby has a new love interest herself. Mega-rocker Liam Murphy is giving her singing lessons, and he’s fairly hands-on. Of course he doesn’t know what he’s getting himself into, but he mightn’t mind too much. We haven’t seen an illicit love affair in ages (Leah and Elijah doesn’t count).

Martha has recently remembered that Hugo is “dead” and her family are concerned for her state of mind. Alf told Angelo he wanted to tell all, but Serge Risotto convined him to keep schtum. Then the crafty copper went round to Martha’s with a pizza and the world’s strongest wine – the pair of them were locked after half a bottle. Oops. Meanwhile, Hugo hasn’t checked in with witness protection and is living in a dungeon somewhere with only Martha’s photo for company. No good can come of this.

Martha in using brain shocker!

Ailsa — Wed, 07 Apr 2010 17:50:56 +0000

Well, blow me! I nearly fell off my chair. Martha came up with and carried out a cunning plan, all on her ownio. She went to supercop Charlie under the pretence of trying to find out if she should return the engagement ring procured with Hugo’s ill-gotten gains. However, the canny lass was actually checking whether it was ok to keep Hugo’s secret riches, which currently belong to Xavier.

Meanwhile, across town (and a bit later), Angelo was spying on Charlie, who was visiting her counsellor. He fell out of a tree as a consequence. What larks!

Arrival

Ailsa — Mon, 29 Mar 2010 20:09:53 +0000

Yippee, Marilyn is back and she brought a stray with her! It’s Justin Jeffries, Aden’s brother. I wonder if he’ll move into Nicole’s house?

Alf and Irene explained to some of the blow-ins who Marilyn is. Colleen is holding a grudge because Marilyn dumped Lancey – fair enough, he was an amazing catch.

Xavier wants to live with Martha. For some reason he seems to like slavery.

Summer Bay Superpowers

Ailsa — Tue, 09 Mar 2010 14:44:26 +0000

Building on the bonza idea that Drew’s Shrew had about a cross-over Home and Away/Heroes show, commenter Sorry for being a crazy dingo has given us a deadly list of Home and Away character super-powers:

ALF – grows gills when he jumps in the water and swims underwater, like a fish which is kind of ironic.
COLLEEN – able to speak any language at will and talk to animals, that means she can gossip with anyone or anything.
MILES – the ability to eat food without ever getting full. (Sounds like a crappy superpower, but in later seasons he will discover he has a psychic conscience named Rabbit).
NICOLE – the ability to attract any person at will with her beauty.
JAI – the ability to be invincible.
IRENE – the ability to attract troubled children into her lair.
ANGELO – the ability to cause amnesia to others (everyone, including Martha, seems to have forgiven him for killing Jack and covering up the murder).
CHARLIE – the ability to change sexuality at will.
RUBY – the ability to screech so loud, it causes one’s ears to bleed.
GINA – the ability to convince people that she’s actually Tony’s sister and not his grandmother.
XAVIER – the same ability as Ruby.
MARTHA – the ability to never grieve and be constantly sexually promiscuous.
LIAM – the ability to be completely forgotten about only few months after being an Australian megastar.
ADEN – the same ability as Martha.
LEAH – the ability to be as sexy as Penelope Cruz but no-one in town appearing to notice.mink
RACHEL – the ability to heal, in all areas of medicine.
TONY – the ability of super strength.
ROMEO – the ability to to…eh…surf…REALLY REALLY WELL. (That one sucked).
MINK – the ability to stare at someone and kill them. What a bad ass!
VJ – the ability to shoot water bombs from his hands.
MORAG – the ability to be the best lawyer ever.
RABBIT – the ability to rise from the dead, be psychic and make herself invisible to all but Miles.

What do you reckon? Do you have any others to add?

SB Time Warp strikes again

Ailsa — Thu, 04 Mar 2010 18:55:30 +0000

The Summer Bay time warp seems to be back in operation; the diner has been rebuilt in record time. I hope they’ve put in a back door and fire alarm this time.

Miles was nearly decapitated by a ceiling fan at the school. You see, if you sleep, you die. Maybe Rabbit was asleep when the tsunami got her.

Martha was pretty cranky with Liam. I really really really hope she’s not pregnant. I don’t think I could cope.