Help us solve this mystery, where did the chlamydia originate? Have we left someone out?

Edit: it doesn’t matter, Ruby doesn’t have chlamydia, so the buck stops with Emily.

Only down unda, though. I wonder if she’ll do any of the following:

• pole dancing
• deafen someone with a fake spider
• people smuggling
• be widowed
• remarry

I watched an episode of South Park last night, in which Cartman and a few pals went off to Somalia to be pirates.  Sounds like Veej was watching it too.  He and Lily are planning on running off to Africa.  I’d love to know their travel plans.  Do Aussie airlines let pre-teens fly on their own?  Wait till you see how flustered Leah will be when Veej goes missing.  She can’t even handle a busy diner.  Will will probably tear Irene’s house down, brick by brick.

Joanna, ma of Bianca and April, warned Liam Murphy off her elder daughter.  Surely that’s just a challenge to the Summer Bay Rockstar?  And another thing, what happened to Liam’s house?

Gina told Xave and John about the plan to send the money to Hugo and Dumbo.  JP knows a lot about money laundering for a daycent Aussie businessman.  By the by, how come Xavier didn’t spend any of the money?  Not even to buy parts for his fixie car?

Did Roo just come back to try and get the money from Xavier? All of her chats with Alf and appologies may have just been a cover to her real reason for being in the Bay.  Hugo wants his ill gotten gains back to build a new life for Martha and him, one built on blood money.  They are a stupid pair and deserve each other.

Here’s Roo pulling another scam 20 years ago. Her hair was different then.

from sydney.jollypeople.com

Robert Robertson is back in force after his Christmas break. He’s interviewed a few of the locals and found out that Alf told Penn he’d “flamin’ kill” him, on the very night he was “murdered”.

I bet Penn’s hiding out somewhere. Probably with Hugo and Martha, in the secret Aussie hiding place.

Dr. Sid called around to deliver Nicole’s HIV results. She’s clear. That’s probably because she didn’t hang out with HIV Henk much.

Will and Irene had a good oul’ heart to heart.  He cheated on Gypsy and she ran away.  That’s why the young one is afraid Daddy Will Smith will run off too.  She doesn’t want to go to school either, probably because she’s the only child in Summer Bay.

A scene between Liam and Martha has been deemed “too steamy” for young audiences.  You’d expect nothing less from Martha, though.

Struth has alerted us to the fact that Roo, daughter of Alf and mother of Martha, is returning to Summer Bay.  She will be played by a new actress; I love this madness.  They did it with Irene, Hayley, Pippa, and who knows how many else.

Bad timing on Roo’s behalf though, her daughter’s just skipped town.

Unbelieveable.  Kate Ritchie introducing the Summer Bay weddings of the past.  We had a pregnant (with Martha?) Roo running out on Frank, Alf and Ailsa slying off to become man and wife, and Angel miraculously rising from her wheelchair to walk down the aisle.  Not to mention Don and Marilyn’s nuptials, and Hayley’s ghost dad giving her away.  Hayley was always seeing ghosts.  Do yis want a lend?

Methodical? Never.

Mysterious? Sometimes.

Misunderstood? Often

Monogamous? Rarely.

Moron? Always.

Martha.  Summer bay is a poorer place without it’s resident wild card. You can say many things about her but life was never dull with her around. It’s hard to know where to start with her.

She arrived in town with a flash when Jack dared her to streak naked along the seafront.  Alf was unimpressed but he had to get used to these kind of shenanigans from his grand daughter.  She later went onto appear in a strip club as a pole dancer which was classic H&A viewing.  She wasn’t slow in showing her assets.

Yes, it was never dull with old Martha.  She was the subject of regular kidnappings, attempted murder, car crashes, cancer, miscarriages and any kind of disaster going really.  The bay will miss it’s resident queen of drama.

She knew when to fight for what was right, such as when she saved Tasha from Mama Rose and the cult.  She also knew when to forgive and forget with Jonah’s past and Hugo’s people smuggling.  Bit of a goldfish memory.

Martha had a talent for making snap decisions.  This is what made herself and Jack such a good match.  Life changing choices like “I’m going to buy a farm”, “I’m adopting Bum bum” or “I’m leaving the bay” would be made in space of a lunch hour.  It would often be followed by the rational of “I’ve thought about it” –  for a whole five minutes, went unsaid.

What of her lovers?  Let us count the names.  I’ll start with Jack. I wonder if we can name them all?

Martha and Hugo have left the bay like “Bonnie and Clive” according to Colleen. They went on the run after another near death experience with Hugo involved. This time is was the crook cop Eaves who took a pop at Hugo but only managed to clip him in the leg. Charlie and Angelo managed to apprehend bent Eaves and bring him to justice. Making it a good day for the law in the bay, they also arrested people smuggler Hugo and his enabler Martha. But for some reason, Sergeant Risotto decided to release the pair of them so they could go on the run. Away with them, the single men of the bay will sleep easy with Martha gone.