Selina arrived in the bay with a bad attitude and a bad mother. She ditched them both and changed her ways to become a shining light of goodness by the time she left. She moved in with Irene and liked it so much that she even adopted her name.

Selina met a boy called Jesse. He was a bit of a bad boy but that wasn’t a problem for Selina. Selina was a great one for leading fellas up the stairs by the hand in Irene’s house which usually meant that they were about to take it to the next level. That happened quite a few times. She pioneered that move but many others have taken up that torch since then, including Gypsy, Martha and Nicole.

As well as dating Jessie, she also went out with Jack Wilson. Jack, like Selina, was a bit of a tearaway but had a good heart, don’t they all? Selina also had a fling with Damian, Irene’s son, which led to a teen pregnancy. She miscarried in the school which was pretty traumatic event for her.

She had many advertures during her time in the bay, which included joining a cult led by Saul. Saul had a powerful effect on Selina and became a bit obsessed with her. She overcame his brainwashing after her friends intervened but that wasn’t enough for Saul and he kidnapped her not once, not twice but three times. Persistance sometimes pays off but not in this case, he got shot to bits by the cops.

Selina had a thing for Stephen Matheson, one of the original cast members who made a return as an adult. This would have been fine except for the fact that he was Selina’s teacher. The broke off their illicit affair and he left town but she still harboured feelings for him when she was going out with Jesse. When she bumped into Stevo again, she couldn’t deny her feelings for him. They agreed to get married and managed to go through with it at the second attempt, the first was a non-starter what with all the kidnapping and shooting. The course of true love never did run smooth.

I had suspected that Charlie might go out with a bang but that wasn’t what I was expecting. Who the hell was that? Was it Jake’s brother? Poor Charlie, 2 bullets to the chest, no way she could survive that in the real world . If only there were an amazing surgeon-pediatrician-MD-psychiatrist-nurse-ambo around to perform a life saving operation. Unfortunately for Charlie, the only one of those is banged up for bashing Stew.

Ever since Nicole left town, there’s been an absence of promiscuity. Maybe April is auditioning for the new Nicole. She’s following in a long line of good girls gone bad stretching back to Selina via Martha and Nicole along the way. April was going to do her best to take it to the next level and it didn’t matter who it was with, even her sister’s ex. She and Heath went straight from level zero to all the way. She was thrilled when she woke up next to him the following morning. Seeing him hop out the window made me nostalgic for the glory days of Belle and Aden. Bianca is going to flip when she finds out, that would be a mighty bombshell to blow up on her wedding day.

Help us solve this mystery, where did the chlamydia originate? Have we left someone out?

Edit: it doesn’t matter, Ruby doesn’t have chlamydia, so the buck stops with Emily.

Only down unda, though. I wonder if she’ll do any of the following:

• pole dancing
• deafen someone with a fake spider
• people smuggling
• be widowed
• remarry

I watched an episode of South Park last night, in which Cartman and a few pals went off to Somalia to be pirates.  Sounds like Veej was watching it too.  He and Lily are planning on running off to Africa.  I’d love to know their travel plans.  Do Aussie airlines let pre-teens fly on their own?  Wait till you see how flustered Leah will be when Veej goes missing.  She can’t even handle a busy diner.  Will will probably tear Irene’s house down, brick by brick.

Joanna, ma of Bianca and April, warned Liam Murphy off her elder daughter.  Surely that’s just a challenge to the Summer Bay Rockstar?  And another thing, what happened to Liam’s house?

Gina told Xave and John about the plan to send the money to Hugo and Dumbo.  JP knows a lot about money laundering for a daycent Aussie businessman.  By the by, how come Xavier didn’t spend any of the money?  Not even to buy parts for his fixie car?

Did Roo just come back to try and get the money from Xavier? All of her chats with Alf and appologies may have just been a cover to her real reason for being in the Bay.  Hugo wants his ill gotten gains back to build a new life for Martha and him, one built on blood money.  They are a stupid pair and deserve each other.

Here’s Roo pulling another scam 20 years ago. Her hair was different then.

from sydney.jollypeople.com

Robert Robertson is back in force after his Christmas break. He’s interviewed a few of the locals and found out that Alf told Penn he’d “flamin’ kill” him, on the very night he was “murdered”.

I bet Penn’s hiding out somewhere. Probably with Hugo and Martha, in the secret Aussie hiding place.

Dr. Sid called around to deliver Nicole’s HIV results. She’s clear. That’s probably because she didn’t hang out with HIV Henk much.

Will and Irene had a good oul’ heart to heart.  He cheated on Gypsy and she ran away.  That’s why the young one is afraid Daddy Will Smith will run off too.  She doesn’t want to go to school either, probably because she’s the only child in Summer Bay.

A scene between Liam and Martha has been deemed “too steamy” for young audiences.  You’d expect nothing less from Martha, though.

Struth has alerted us to the fact that Roo, daughter of Alf and mother of Martha, is returning to Summer Bay. She will be played by a new actress; I love this madness. They did it with Irene, Hayley, Pippa, and who knows how many else.

Bad timing on Roo’s behalf though, her daughter’s just skipped town.

Unbelieveable.  Kate Ritchie introducing the Summer Bay weddings of the past.  We had a pregnant (with Martha?) Roo running out on Frank, Alf and Ailsa slying off to become man and wife, and Angel miraculously rising from her wheelchair to walk down the aisle.  Not to mention Don and Marilyn’s nuptials, and Hayley’s ghost dad giving her away.  Hayley was always seeing ghosts.  Do yis want a lend?