Roo riddle

Wednesday, September 10th, 2014

Home and Away is like an episode of House at the moment; Roo picked up a virus somewhere on her travels, and it’s up to Alf and his merry bunch to find out why. According to Colleen, she left Vegas weeks ago. Our money is on a Martha-and-Hugo visit, maybe with some people smuggling thrown in, for good measure?

Darcy and Heath are on their best behaviour, ahead of his custody claim. But Sophie (dressed as a squaw) asked Heath for a meeting, to discuss school matters. What’s that about?

Ricky still wants a bub.

Spencer and Chris miraculously found Andy’s drugs, under his van. They should work for YCPD drugs squad.

Interesting choice of headwear, Teach

Interesting choice of headwear, Teach

Summer Bay’s Sexiest…

Wednesday, August 7th, 2013

…is the name of a series of episodes, currently on Channel 5 at 6:30 (and Channel 5 + 1 at 7:30). Roo the Ledgebag lived up to her (his?) name and let us know.

Today’s episode was Aden and Belle’s wedding. Ah it was gas, look.

belles-dress

Terrible dress

confused-charlie

Simpleton No. 1

confused-martha

Simpleton No. 2

morag-ruby

Ruby’s hair confounds Morag

summer-bays-sexiest

Not really living up to the name

Passing of a principal

Wednesday, May 22nd, 2013

Gina’s dead? It’s her own fault for saying how great things were going yesterday. What are John and Jett going to do now? Will he still adopt the kid? Marilyn is being a great help, she’s a trooper in times like this.

Will any of her sons turn up for the funeral? They said Xavier is on his way but no mention of Bandicoot and Hugo’s on the run. It would be class if Hugo and Martha came back for the funeral, I miss Martha and her simpleton ways.

As for cause of death she suffered an aneurysm and that was it. At first I thought it might have been the brain explosion that Hugo was talking about all those years ago.

Casey will be a relieved man now I’d imagine, he won’t have to worry about avoiding Gina anymore, she was always trying to get him to come back to school for his HSC.

Spencer and Maddy are having Chris sized problems. He keeps poking his nose in whenever they get some alone time. That chap can’t take a hint at all. They were about to get into the bone zone but he is interrupting their attempts, will they ever get to the next level?

Wedding blues

Monday, February 4th, 2013

Harvey has no friends and no best man.  Not surprised, he’s boring, annoying and irritable.  No doubt he’ll end up asking Alf to do the honours.

Neil had taken Indi hostage but Sid came to the rescue, clamping Neil in an arm lock.  Neil claimed innocence when the cops turned up but they carted him away.  In typical YCPD fashion, they released him ten minutes later so he’s free to harass Lisa and Indi again. Sid put Lisa into a hotel but she subsequently rang Neil to tell him that she’s ready to come home.  What’s her problem?

Dex is not well.  The stress of the hostage situation got to him and he went to bed early, only to get up in a fever and collapse in the kitchen during the night.  His brain must still be recovering from the after effects of his injury, I hope he hasn’t suffered one of these.

Blink and you’ll miss it

Tuesday, September 25th, 2012

Well, in the grand old tradition of leaving Summer Bay and never looking back, Lottie is off into the wide blue yonder, aka The City. She made the decision in a heartbeat, and was gone just as quick. Sasha wasn’t even informed. Pity, because Lottie was a good character – I don’t think they’ve ever had a lady Dex before.

Speaking of Dex, he and April made their own hurried decision: to move in together. They had no place to take it to the next level in private, so it’s off to the caravan park with them. Or they could have Martha’s old flat. Or the palace. Or Nicole’s house.

Brax “he’s a dog” Braxton finally fell prey to the lady counsellor’s charms. I cannot remember her name, nor believe that he put up with her constant questions. Sergeant Buckton must be spinning in her grave (but not changing her facial expression).

In real-life H&A news, Steve Peacocke aka Darryl Brax Braxton will be appearing at a nightclub in Maynooth in December. It’s true. Expect: leaning on things, saying “oi”, and calling people dogs.

Rebels

Monday, July 23rd, 2012

Lottie overheard Roo saying she isn’t much craic, so she enlisted Sasha to help her rebel. Personally, I think Sasha should’ve let her get a Blood and Sand tattoo. Roo and Lottie had a great oul’ row over it, and Alf was suitably smug that he wasn’t involved. The girls made up, anyway. Roo mentioned Martha. Ah, Martha. So mental.

Did the Lottie actress break her leg in real life?

Brax is doubly raging – at Hayley because she’s gonna free his da, and at Liam because he’s stupid enough to be involved with Hayley. Hayley is back on the gear, yet again.

Leah welcomed the counsellor lady to the Bay. She won’t be too happy when Natalie snares Brax.

Brax said “Oi” to some cops. It’s the perfect phrase for any occasion. His da is very sure of a release. Oi indeed.

Liam’s back on the gear. His hair got fairly messed up in the session. Also, he had a fit, but not as good as Bianca’s.

Sly one April

Monday, May 28th, 2012

April has finally come to her senses, shaken off the River Boy, and realised Dex is the man for her. She elbowed her way into Dex and Lottie’s rock hunt, pretended to sprain her ankle, and told Nurse Walker she loves him. I hope she means it this time, the changeable wench!

The scriptwriters are having a great laugh with Harvey. This week alone they’ve invented a rigged election and a dead son, none of which he told Roo about, until he had to. Actually ,Sid told her about the dead son. Just call him Sid Smart. No-one in that town can keep their mouth shut.

So, what will Harvey’s next invented past storyline be? Maybe he pole-danced with Martha, or people-smuggled with Hugo? Perhaps he and Rhys were workout buddies, or he went to art class with Hayley. The possibilities are endless.

Lastly, does this mean Alf will be appointed to council? That would change the Bay forever (again)!

Selina Roberts

Saturday, February 18th, 2012

Selina arrived in the bay with a bad attitude and a bad mother. She ditched them both and changed her ways to become a shining light of goodness by the time she left. She moved in with Irene and liked it so much that she even adopted her name.

Selina met a boy called Jesse. He was a bit of a bad boy but that wasn’t a problem for Selina. Selina was a great one for leading fellas up the stairs by the hand in Irene’s house which usually meant that they were about to take it to the next level. That happened quite a few times. She pioneered that move but many others have taken up that torch since then, including Gypsy, Martha and Nicole.

As well as dating Jessie, she also went out with Jack Wilson. Jack, like Selina, was a bit of a tearaway but had a good heart, don’t they all? Selina also had a fling with Damian, Irene’s son, which led to a teen pregnancy. She miscarried in the school which was pretty traumatic event for her.

She had many advertures during her time in the bay, which included joining a cult led by Saul. Saul had a powerful effect on Selina and became a bit obsessed with her. She overcame his brainwashing after her friends intervened but that wasn’t enough for Saul and he kidnapped her not once, not twice but three times. Persistance sometimes pays off but not in this case, he got shot to bits by the cops.

Selina had a thing for Stephen Matheson, one of the original cast members who made a return as an adult. This would have been fine except for the fact that he was Selina’s teacher. The broke off their illicit affair and he left town but she still harboured feelings for him when she was going out with Jesse. When she bumped into Stevo again, she couldn’t deny her feelings for him. They agreed to get married and managed to go through with it at the second attempt, the first was a non-starter what with all the kidnapping and shooting. The course of true love never did run smooth.

Cop killer

Monday, February 13th, 2012

I had suspected that Charlie might go out with a bang but that wasn’t what I was expecting. Who the hell was that? Was it Jake’s brother? Poor Charlie, 2 bullets to the chest, no way she could survive that in the real world . If only there were an amazing surgeon-pediatrician-MD-psychiatrist-nurse-ambo around to perform a life saving operation. Unfortunately for Charlie, the only one of those is banged up for bashing Stew.

Ever since Nicole left town, there’s been an absence of promiscuity. Maybe April is auditioning for the new Nicole. She’s following in a long line of good girls gone bad stretching back to Selina via Martha and Nicole along the way. April was going to do her best to take it to the next level and it didn’t matter who it was with, even her sister’s ex. She and Heath went straight from level zero to all the way. She was thrilled when she woke up next to him the following morning. Seeing him hop out the window made me nostalgic for the glory days of Belle and Aden. Bianca is going to flip when she finds out, that would be a mighty bombshell to blow up on her wedding day.

STD Tree

Wednesday, June 29th, 2011

Help us solve this mystery, where did the chlamydia originate? Have we left someone out?

Edit: it doesn’t matter, Ruby doesn’t have chlamydia, so the buck stops with Emily.

STD tree 6

bring back miles
Original image from This is Oz



all the dead


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