There was a collective shout of OHHHHH in our house just now, as preteen Lily told prospective da Mark that mammy Gypsy was being bold on the beach with Liam Murphy, all-round rockstar. The only one I feel sorry for is Irene. She’s trying to recover from chemo in the midst of many dramas. At least her illness means she can get Lily to do the dishes.

Charlie was ready to ride Brax, but found his lawyer’s earring in his car. That car sees some action.

Leah is being a wagon to Miles. I hope they do break up. She’s telling him he pushed her into going ahead with the pregnancy. He did in his HOOP, Leah.

Liam Murphy took to the stage in Angelo’s and Gypsy was LOVING it. A budding romance, no doubt. Lily will be delighted. She thinks her ma is going to marry her flash boyfriend and leave her in the dust. That’s why she’s being such a brat.

Everyone is sad about Leah’s lost baby. Poor cute Veej was going to teach him to play football. Veej had a touch of Henry XVIII about him as he declared the baby was definitely a boy. Leah is pushing Miles away. Leah, noooooooooo!

Irene is doing it tough after her chemo. Her carers are terrible, they’re barely in the house to look after her. Plus they are both crushing on Rockstar Liam Murphy. LOVE TRIANGLE YO

Being an international rock star is a dangerous business. You have a lot to deal with and there are many pitfalls along the way. You have to put up with the paparazzi following your every move, waiting for you to slip up. Then there’s the critics, slating your work. And don’t forget the temptation of drugs and drink.

But on the upside you get the fame, the groupies and the money. Lots of money. But in Liam Murphy’s case, where did the money go to?  Did he spend all of his millions on drugs?  When he arrived in the bay he had enough money to buy a house, but couldn’t afford to get it fixed up properly and is now living in a tent.  That’s a pretty shocking state of affairs for an ex superstar.  Does he not have any residual income from album sales or radio play?

What about his new album?  He mentioned it while playing the gig in Angelo’s.  It’s clearly not selling very well as he’s still working in the school.  Maybe he needs to team up with Ruby again and do some more songs about kisses hurting so much.

Yahoo Home and Away is back.  I’m glad to see not much has changed. You still have to book your flight and leave the Bay the very same day, as demonstrated by Vittorio and Shandi.  However, Vittorio decided to hang back and take it to the next level with Bianca.  Just in time, Vittorio, because Rockstar Liam Murphy is ringing yer missus.

Ruby fancies her driving instructor, and the feelings are mutual.  So much so that it makes her act like a moron down the Diner.  She’s really good at parallel parking though.

Well Hugo is back big-stylee now.  Martha took him straight back into her arms without a word about his people-smuggling.  At least Gina gave him a dressing-down for being a massive criminal.

The Austins are surprisingly adept at fobbing off the bobbies.  Love how Xavier said “It’s the cops” when Angelo and Charlie came to the door, as if he’d never met them before.   Anyway Gina cranked up her headmistress skills and YCPD were slinking out with their tails between their legs.

Gina was nice to Miles, though, even if she was delivering the bad news that he might not get his job back at the school.  Bet he doesn’t think Rabbit was so deadly now.

Apparently Aden has left.  I totally missed that; I must have been making a cup of tea or something.  The exits are very swift these days.  Nicole is totally over it though, Liam Murphy sorted her out with some bonza advice.  By the by, they now have a ping-pong table in the caravan park.  Bounce.

I flippin’ knew Ruby was going to ruin the play.  The little eejit.  Luckily Sir Liam of Murphy stepped in and saved the day.  Ruby did alright considering originally she proclaimed “I can’t sing”.  Might there be a singing career in the pipeline?

Miles was extra mad in that episode.  He wanted to keep a seat at the play for Rabbit (bet she didn’t pay though, it’s one of the perks of being imaginary), then he suddenly went home and banished her from the house.  Now he wants her to come back.  Ahhhhh.

Leah knows about the Milco madness now anyway.  She tried to get it out of Elijah by repeatedly saying his name, but Miles charged in and gave the game away himself.  Cue frowny face from Leah until this is sorted out.

Annie left.  Hurrah hurrah.  “When are you leaving”, said Romeo.  “Tomorrow morning”, said Annie.  Those Campbells don’t wait around.  Sure Geoff went off to “Africa” within a day of making his decision to leave.  Anyway Romeo is pretty cut up about it, but Annie doesn’t seem to care.  I bet she’s really into J-pop and that’s why she’s off.  She did get Romeo to tell her his real name though.  What do you think it is?

Annie and Romeo are now officially in love.  The oul light-a-few-candles-and-set-up-a-discoball trick worked.  They’re love’s young dream.

Ruby has a new love interest herself. Mega-rocker Liam Murphy is giving her singing lessons, and he’s fairly hands-on.  Of course he doesn’t know what he’s getting himself into, but he mightn’t mind too much.  We haven’t seen an illicit love affair in ages (Leah and Elijah doesn’t count).

Martha has recently remembered that Hugo is “dead” and her family are concerned for her state of mind.  Alf told Angelo he wanted to tell all, but Serge Risotto convined him to keep schtum.  Then the crafty copper went round to Martha’s with a pizza and the world’s strongest wine – the pair of them were locked after half a bottle.  Oops.  Meanwhile, Hugo hasn’t checked in with witness protection and is living in a dungeon somewhere with only Martha’s photo for company.  No good can come of this.

He’s as bad as Liam Murphy.

OK, does Geoff only have one white vest?  And when it’s in the wash, has he no choice but to walk around topless?

Xavier is wise to Geoff and Ruby.  He warned Geoff off and after looking mega-confused for a while, Geoff agreed to leave Ruby alone.
Ruby’s not impressed though.

Nicole is going to the next level with Liam Murphy the rock star.  This is a disaster in Kirsty’s eyes.  I’d say Kirsty is jealous.  Maybe she just wants a roll on the beach herself.

Charlie’s police radio went off in the diner – AT FULL BLAST.  I’m surprised all the customers didn’t follow her to the police emergency.

Angelo, under slight duress, spilled the beans about his undercover operation.  People-smuggling!  Exotic!  He thinks it’s Hugo running the show, but I bet it’s not.  Who could it be?  Palmer?  Morag?  Colleen?  The excitement!

Home and Away is secretly a bit holy; did you see Irene proclaiming that Belle isn’t really gone, and Flashback Belle talking about “moving on”?

Speaking of Belle, jaysis she had it all figured out.  She handed out all of her worldly belongings to her mates, then drifted off.  She told Nicole to look after Aden in any way she could, which seemed to be an invite for them to take it to the next level (again).  Aden didn’t feel like it straight after the funeral, though.

If you “just want the pain to stop”, like Nicole, the one person you should not tell is Liam Murphy.  He has a car full of drugs and nothing else to do, by the look of it.  Nicole loves a bit of trouble, but at least she has flirty doc Sid to keep an eye out for her.