Who was the mystery weirdo watching Charlie and Brax having a pash? Wouldn’t it be deadly if it was Alf, and this was a hobby of his?

Anyway would Charlie and Brax ever eff off? She’s a cop and bad at her job. He’s a prior dealie (betcha that’s a word) with ties to his past. I get it, it’s a conflict. Zzzzzzzz

Miles found out about Elijah fancying Leah. He was heartbroken, poor thing. Leah doesn’t know, and has no interest in the Rev. Good woman Leah, he’s turned into a SAP. Miles is going to visit Sally in Thailand, hopefully he meets Cassie and Baby Henk too.

Romeo got yet another job, and immediately asked for an advance. My faith in his business acumen is dwindling by the day.

Sid and Roo are an item again. Turns out she loves paeLLa.

Leah and Miles are no more. Both of them are pretty sad about it. Elijah is ALREADY sniffing around Leah, so Marilyn warned him off.

Marilyn also advised Dexter to apologise to April. He did so while wearing the worst suit of all time. Not only that, but April told him to get bent. She’s still annoyed with him, so she’s devised a plan to seduce some randomer at the formal. She confided in Ruby, who, unsurprisingly, thought it was a great idea.

Bianca is trying to keep Liam away from Brax, as the Rock Star still doesn’t know the truth about the accident. She won’t have to worry for too much longer, as Charlie and Brax are conspiring to leave town. Brax can’t stay around and resist The Boys.

Hahaha did yis see Roo frolicking down the beach in her red tent/dress? What a pity it was Harvey waiting for her on the beach. Why doesn’t he go on a long, long charter and leave everyone in peace?

Mr. JP was struck off the council, and wants to spend his life savings on the development. Gina rightfully made a disapproving face. Harvey reckons he can win John’s old seat.

Charlie and Brax are living it up, going to the beach during the day, etc. How is Charlie paying rent if she’s not working?

Miles found out Leah is back in town. He confronted her about her lies. He should have confronted her about being a moany oul bag while he was at it. Future babies seems to be the crux of the issue, and neither of them are backing down.

Harvey is continuing to spread rumours about John Palmer and his corrupt ways. Roo got involved and asked him to stop, to no avail. Rumours tend to get believed in small towns like the bay so John’s in strife with the council now, they want him to resign. Harvey needs stopping asap.

Miles is heading for a fall. He seems to think himself and Leah are headed for a reconciliation but Leah has other ideas and lied to him on the phone. To top it all, Colleen told him that he was looking a bit fat. I’m surprised how thin he is considering he stuffs his face in most scenes.

Sash is in hospital with her infection. Stu had a showdown with Sid, who got a taste of his anger. The doc won’t let him anywhere near Sasha now. But he got the impression that Stu convinced her to get the tattoo, which isn’t true and she didn’t set her Dad straight, future conflict alert. Xavier seems happy enough to hang around the hospital, waiting for her condition to improve. Isn’t he a bit old for Sasha, she’s only 15.

I’m surprised to see that nobody bothered cleaning Liam’s face while he was in a coma, it’s still covered in red crap, maybe some old jam? Bianca doesn’t seem to have noticed despite spending all day every day by his bedside.

April reckons her sister’s rediscovered her love for Liam, is it guilt or something more? April was unimpressed when she found out Bianca slept with Heath yet again. Maybe she’ll move in there now Bianca has moved on.

When Heath called over later, Bianca gave him the heave-ho, “don’t come around here no more”, she said. Heath decided to get his own back by getting locked and sleeping rough on the beach. That’ll show her.

Leah told Charlie that VJ had run away, her response, “that isn’t good”. Brilliant. She’s a genius. There’s a manhunt for Veej underway. He phoned Miles to say he can look after himself. Maybe he’ll head to the bush and be the new Crocodile Dundee.

Constable Watson suspects that Charlie is back on the Brax. Who’ll win that battle of wits? Watson is wiley and Charlie is pretty dim, I expect the cop to cop-on to the ex-cop’s cock-up.

I’m so excited, I’m gonna live blog this episode, here goes:

Argh, shut up about sport, RTE people!
I forgot about Harvey’s stupid face!
Also forgot about Sid’s declaration of love!
Harvey’s in the “barbecue area”.
Roo is keeping Harvey at bay cos of the doc.
Romeo slacking on his dinner preparations, very slow chopping.
Marilyn’s hair is lovely.
Roo and Marilyn having a girlie chat about boys.
Miles and Veej hanging out on beach.
Colleen driving sick Irene mad.
There’s going to be a surprise fundraiser for Irene.
Harvey putting pressure on Alf re: Blaxland.
“Just because I’m your son, doesn’t mean you can control everything I do”. Veej demands RESPECT.
Miles is very philosophical about the break-up. Veej thinks it’s Leah’s fault.

BREAK

Poor Irene is crying. Awwww. Cancer’s no joke.
Alf says Colleen’s mouth works overtime. He’s not wrong.
Irene is not on for leaving the house.
Alf’s under orders to wear pink for the fundraiser.
“Are you using me to get Dad’s boat”, sez Roo to Harvey.
Veej and Leah rowing. IM NEARLY THIRTEEN.
Marilyn coaxing Irene out of house. Very persuasive.
Roo and Harvey row, Alf kicks him out. IN YER FACE HARVEY
Irene stunned at fundraiser, makes speech.
Palmer in pink cowboy hat.
Roo calls to farm, Romeo can lease Blaxland again, Sid says forget about his declaration of love.
The ladies have wine, cake and biscuits.
Veej getting a bus outta town. I bet he’s going to THE CITY.

This breakup is very difficult for Leah, Miles, Veej, and most importantly, me! I don’t know how much more moping, staring into the distance, talking to everyone but each other about it, crying over the answering machine, and general all-round misery I can take.

Romeo basically told Alf to sell Harvey the boat. I hope it blows up the first time he takes it out on the water, the big weird bastard.

We’ve had some comments that Alf had the best quote of all time in today’s episode, but I can’t remember it – what was it?

Update: I forgot about Charlie’s date with the robbery victim, and it being uncovered that Brax was the getaway driver in said robbery. Good police work by Constable Watson.

Harvey is some boy. He poured petrol on the Blaxland, then “saved the day” when Alf was around, blaming Romeo for the spill. He then offered to buy the boat. Luckily Liam saw Harvey on the boat with the petrol. Grr Harvey is such a weirdo.

Miles and Leah agreed to stay together, were back to normal for about five minutes, then had a row, and Miles moved out. Veej saw it coming. He might be the most sensible person in the Bay.

Indi got an internship with the dude who’s building the new resort. Hope he doesn’t turn out to be a perv.

There was a collective shout of OHHHHH in our house just now, as preteen Lily told prospective da Mark that mammy Gypsy was being bold on the beach with Liam Murphy, all-round rockstar. The only one I feel sorry for is Irene. She’s trying to recover from chemo in the midst of many dramas. At least her illness means she can get Lily to do the dishes.

Charlie was ready to ride Brax, but found his lawyer’s earring in his car. That car sees some action.

Leah is being a wagon to Miles. I hope they do break up. She’s telling him he pushed her into going ahead with the pregnancy. He did in his HOOP, Leah.

Not a great time to be a Braxton in the bay. Casey is in Juvie, but still able to talk to Brax on the phone. Heath is in trouble with his Neighbours, Gina and John, while the object of his affections Bianca wasn’t too impressed with his threatening of Gina. Brax is the only one who is enjoying himself. He got an earful from Charlie over the court case. You would think he’d be sick of her by now, but no. She only has to “say the word” and he’ll be there. In the meantime he’s going to enjoy himself with the hotshot lawyer who is mixing business with pleasure.

What’s Ruby going to do while Casey is doing hard time? Will she be able to wait for him? A month is a long time to be on one’s own in the bay.

Leah and Miles continue to struggle along. She seems to be doing anything she can to avoid him. She maintains that everything is ok but Miles seems unconvinced. Whither now for them both? Marilyn is doing all she can to help them but will it be enough? I fear not.