Misplaced faith

Thursday, November 6th, 2014

Chris is continuing his one man demolition job on Irene’s gaff. Not only did he wreck the oven, he then destroyed all of her cupboards and presses trying to remodel the kitchen. Irene is a saint and said she will let him continue with the project and update it whatever way he wants to. She said she has complete faith him, that’s asking for trouble.

Marilyn tarrot

Marilyn used the dark arts to look into Phoebe’s future and found out that there is big success on the horizon for her. Kyle won’t be happy if it means more gigs out of town, he gets jealous very quickly. Marilyn is lucky that she lives in Summer Bay, not Salem or she’d but up on trial for witchcraft.

Leah was manipulated into kissing Zac by Sasha and Matt. Seriously, she’s a grown woman, it shouldn’t have been that easy to convince her to do it. Anyway, she fessed up to him that she is into him when they got back home. Is he fully over Hannah now and ready for a new relationship?

The house warming

Tuesday, October 21st, 2014

DJ phoebe is laying down some phat beats in Angelo’s, much to Kyle’s annoyance as she’s disturbed the lunchtime rush. Kyle was trying to give Ricky a handy day in work as he thought she might be pregnant. Phoebe noticed his completely obvious behaviour and he let it slip, the bleedin’ dope. He swore her to secrecy but that didn’t last.

DJ Phoebe

Ricky was annoyed because herself and Brax have been trying for a baby for about a week and she’s not pregnant yet. She asked Nate but he told her not to worry, it’ll happen. When Ricky found out that Kyle and Phoebe knew they were trying she went mad. Brax is dead when she finds him.

Nate invited all his mates around for dinner without telling Sophie. They had dinner but Sophie lost the plot with him after they left. He’s scared that they’re going down the same path they did before and will repeat old mistakes.

Sasha owned up to Sophie about her poem. She got away with it, kind of. I don’t know why she didn’t say Matt was behind it.  Sophie asked Zac to help her come up with a suitable punishment for Sasha.

Kidnap and torture

Saturday, October 18th, 2014

RTE player staff got a bit confused with Friday’s episode. This sounds like a plot from ten years ago.

RTE player out of date info

Click to enlarge, you flamin’ galah

Cody and his toughs turned up to get some info on Andy’s whereabouts. First they put the hurt on Casey at the gym but all that succeeded in doing was dragging Brax away from the house to rescue his bro. Little did he know that this was what they wanted all along. As soon as he left Braxton Towers for the gym, they went over to capture Josh and Evelyn, who they took to the farm for kidnap and interrogation. Kyle is going to be annoyed when he finds out, some kidnapping in the Bay that he wasn’t involved in. Where was Kyle anyway? The lads forced Josh to leave a message for Andy, telling him to come and rescue them. Will the selfish mongrel turn up? What if Oscar and Hannah show up first?

John got a surprise when Shandi turned up in the diner. They had a chat on the beach and seemed to have straightened things out a bit. Everything was going fine until he told her about Jett; she lost the plot when she heard he had a foster son. Things will be a bit bumpy for a while but she’ll be grand once she acclimatises to the Bayside way of life.

Safe house

Monday, October 13th, 2014

Brax just cannot help himself. If there is a problem to be fixed, he can’t ignore it for long. He gave Andy money from Angelo’s, as a loan, to pay off the dealers. Andy disappeared and now there are angry dealers and an angry Kyle to put up with. The newest Braxton is not impressed that his managerial status was undermined.

We haven’t actually seen the dealers. It would be great if they were really posh, or old women, or something unexpected like that. Or if Morag was their ringleader, or Colleen. Awesome.

Ricky was winning in the mad fashion stakes today. Behold:

Gúna úafasach

Gúna úafasach

Marilyn finally confessed that she’s invited Shandi to the wedding. John didn’t mind too much, but now he’ll have to tell Jett he has a daughter. Eh, surely that came up in the adoption process, no?

One last surf

Monday, September 29th, 2014

One last surf

Well, that was amazing. In one episode, Connie came around, handed Darcy over to  Heath, Bianca showed up, and they all disappeared off to The City, never to be seen again. It was like an Irish wake in Famine times. “When will I see you again?”, “Ah sure, I don’t know”. I’m fairly sure The City is not that far away.

Ricky showed her true colours as a Home and Away aficionado when she used a theme song lyric to berate Connie, “you know they belong together”. Her guilt trip worked wonders, and Connie agreed that the Heathcliff Braxton family would be better as one household.

The Boyz went for ONE LAST SURF. Kyle was hanging back, leaving the original crew to it, until Brax muttered “You coming or what?”. They all had a topless pow-wow on the beach, then Brax, Heath and Casey went for a surf. Why did Kyle get topless if he wasn’t even going to swim? And it looked like The Boyz were only body-boarding anyway, he could’ve managed that.

Go in the effing sea, at least

Go in the effing sea, at least

Back at the gaff, Phoebe stood up to Chezza, who just shrugged. Harley wore an amazing hat for his final scenes.

HARLEYHAT

HARLEYHAT

Now that the Braxton numbers have been decimated, Brax has reluctantly agreed to have a baby with Ricky. He needs more troops to continue his reign of the Bay. He’ll be the next Alfred Stewart in no time.

Keeping Denny at a distance

Tuesday, September 23rd, 2014

More bonkers Braxton behaviour from Casey today, as he tried to keep his lovely girlfriend Denny away from the rest of the Boyz (oi). She is unimpressed. Oh Denny, Denny boy.

Sophie has awoken from her drug-induced state and is refusing painkillers. Dr. Nate was dead impressed by this and asked her to move into Leah’s with him. Hopefully she has a relapse, as she is really boring.

Phoebe and Kyle are also moving in together. I can’t wait to see the interior decor in that gaff. She was wearing mental trousers today.

Mighty pants

Mighty pants

Heath is keeping his baby but Connie is not keen on letting him have Darce, too.

Ricky was doing loads of nosing around in other people’s business today, she’s a great match for Brax. What is her job again?

Stewart-Barrett face-off

Thursday, September 18th, 2014

Too much madness in that episode:

  • Phoebe not confessing that all she is trying to do is get herself and Kyle a gaff
  • Roo not telling anyone why she went to South America and pretending it was because she needs her own space
  • Marilyn not wanting to move out of the caravan park and live with her fiancé and pretendy son
  • Hannah doing some weeding on the farm! Ok, that’s normal, which is what makes it weird
  • Kyle doing some amazing jaw-jutting aka the most Kyle face ever
  • Andy Barrett being scared by Alf
Just jutting jaw

Just jutting jaw

Avoiding the Braxtonverse

Wednesday, September 17th, 2014

Phoebe wants to get a flat for herself and Kyle. She arranged it by getting Matt to pretend to be a reference, she didn’t want to have to rely on a Brax reference. Then she met the landlord on the sly without telling Kyle. He put 2+2 together when he saw them and thinks something is going on. Things will get worse when he finds out that she robbed money from the till for the deposit.

Josh has realised his relationship with Maddy is going nowhere, he must be sick of the moaning, which will be twice as bad now she has to to repeat the year in school. He met her on the pier to give her the heave-ho but before he could get the words out she was telling him that she is going to change and she needs him. He’ll have to put up with her for now so.

Alf and Roo had World War 3 in the kitchen while John, Marilyn and Jett tried to stay out of the way. Alf wasn’t impressed with her going to South America without telling him but she still hasn’t explained why she went there. Mysterious.

Pizza frisbee

Tuesday, September 9th, 2014

Irene invented a new sport today by hurling one of Angelo’s finest take away pizzas off the end of the pier. Sasha jumped into the water to rescue it because she was worried about the environmental impact. The end result was that Sasha got her job back as she covered at the diner.

Brax is still moping over the fact that his brothers can take care of themselves. He is missing the drama but it led him to believe that he did a good job in helping them, maybe he’s ready to have a baby with Ricky now?

Kyle and Phoebe tried to rent a flat but didn’t get one due to his name and criminal ways. Why should he still be punished for his past? He’s a reformed man now and hasn’t kidnapped anybody in weeks.

Ozone gave out to Zac for his bum advise which resulted in his bashing. He said Zac is still hung up on Hannah and can’t focus on the twins. Andy got praise from Hannah for helping Zac but it looks like he had a secret drug stash taped under his caravan, she won’t be impressed when that comes to light.

 

Ozone

Monday, September 8th, 2014

There is great mickey-swinging going on down at the farm at the moment. Oscar (aka Ozone) was starting his community service with conflicting advice from Zac and Andy. Zac advocated keeping his head down, while Andy said Ozone should go in all guns blazing, so that no-one would mess with him. Guess who was right? Poor Oscar ended up like something out of True Blood, once the local hoons were finished with him.

Vampire Oscar

Vampire Oscar

In a related matter, apparently you can do community service topless in Australia.

Vests optional

Vests optional

Kyle and Phoebe are moving in together, and looking for a flat. They are very fussy. As a friend of ours might say, it’s not their forever house. Anyway, they remembered that Kyle being a former convict might prove tricky. No way, lads?

Roo has meningitis I hear. She’s been out of action for a good while now, should I ready the wall of death?

bring back miles
Original image from This is Oz



all the dead


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