Grilling me like a cheese sandwich

Monday, April 7th, 2014

John was simultaneously accommodating Harvey and avoiding Roo’s questions; until she barged up to his house and told her husband to leave the Bay and leave everyone in peace. Good advice.

Sasha’s run for school captain got off to a bad start; Matt and the other students drowned out her speech by chanting Tamara’s name instead. Not since the days of Kirsty and Jade have students been so passionate about school politics.

Denny was about to leave the Bay when Evelyn demanded a tete-a-tete. They’ll be devoted sisters before you can say “strike me flamin’ handsome”.

Rosie duffed

Monday, June 17th, 2013

Poor Rosie now has a teenage pregnancy* to deal with. Sid set out the options and she has a big decision ahead of her. She has an ace support team in the form of Sasha, Spencer, Sid, Zac and now Natalie. I can’t see this staying secret for very long.

Maddie is put out at all the attention Spencer is paying Rosie. Obviously, he can’t reveal what’s going on, which is making her angrier. She presumed that Spence and Rosie are becoming an item, until Roo pointed out she was jumping the gun a bit. That criss-cross dress of Roo’s is particularly mad, even for her.

Natalie is put out too, as she was thwarted in her nosiness by a reactive and sensible Zac. She pointed out that he didn’t play by the school rules, but he retorted that she is just feeling left out. Haha, Natalie ya moan.

* Previous teenage pregnancies include: Roo, Sophie, Selina, Angel, Kirsty, Cassie. Previous abortions include…only Martha, I think?

Fully bashed

Tuesday, January 22nd, 2013

Lisa turned up to Sid’s house, fully bashed. If I were Sid I would have set Sasha “Killer” Walker on Lisa’s husband. All Lisa got was a chat from Sasha; she’s very wise.

Sasha went a bit mad  with jealousy when she heard about Casey’s imaginary friend, Tamara. I’m not so sure she was imaginary. However, her jealousy was explained when she confessed to Natalie that she might be pregnant! That’s right, in the grand old tradition of Summer Bay teenage pregnancies, following in the footsteps of Roo, Sophie, Angel, Chloe, Tasha, Kirsty, Cassie and Nicole, Sasha is up the duff. Hurray for another River Baby.


A slap in the face

Monday, December 5th, 2011

What happened to Sasha and Stew? She was professing her love for him to Indy and saying how well things are going. She did have the sense to tell him that she’s not ready to “take it to the next level”, which was sensible. That sense deserted her when it came to dressing up for her date with Stew, she looked somewhat ridiculous, which goes to prove that she is a Walker, taking after Indy. So she went out for a ride in Stew’s awesome green machine and he gave her abuse for not texting him back. But the verbals weren’t enough and he slapped her in the face! I hope she sees sense and kicks him to the kerb. No doubt she’ll forgive him, tell herself he’s changed, until he does it again.

Were there any other violent relationships recently? I was casting my mind back to see if I could remember them. Did Kane hit Kirsty at some stage? Maybe I’m slandering him incorrectly. I’ve a feeling we’ve had this storyline before, “what’s new with that” I hear you say.

April is a right little addict these days. Robbing prescription papers from Sid, where will it end? Did she get the wrong tablets for Irene? That didn’t seem clear. Irene seemed very pepped up once she took what April gave her. Irene’s going to end up addicted to pro plus and caffeine tablets.

Cat show at Mangrove River

Monday, October 11th, 2010

So, Miles told Leah ’twas him who helped Veej write to Elijah.  Leah went mental, then calmed down and called around to the caravan park with a confession.  She’s been writing to Elijah every day since he left.  Where in the name of God did she get the time to do that?  No wonder she’s so flustered.

All this talk of Elijah makes me think he might be coming back.  Normally when someone leaves the Bay, they’re never/rarely heard of again.  For example, Dani, Jade, Kirsty, Cassie, Rhys, Shelly, Tasha, Geoff, Robbie, and the list goes on.

In another unusual H&A move, no-one has found out about Hugo’s money.  Well, Charlie knows, but it’s not public knowledge.  What’s that about?  Anyway well done to the writers for not following their usual path!

Nice one Rockstar

Wednesday, January 20th, 2010

Good one by Liam there; telling Nicole he loves her will keep her around for another wee while.   Wow, he was so busy in that episode, between his supposed “lessons” and sitting on the couch doing nothing.

Miles is off the hook with the cops but went mental when he saw a picture of Kirsty in the school yearbook.  In fairness, I’d go mental if I had to look at a picture of that moany cow.  Anyway Gina is making him take stress leave.  He’s annoyed by this but I think he should take the opportunity and spend a few days down the Diner eating burgers.  He’s wasting away.

Miles is in for it now

Wednesday, January 13th, 2010

Miles Copeland hasn’t had it easy since he moved to Summer Bay.  As a down-and-out, he slept on the beach and wrote cryptic messages in the sand in the hopes that his sister would find him.  Naturally, he went from living hand-to-mouth to becoming a teacher at the only school in town, and won the heart of Kirsty Sutherland.  Unfortunately she turned out to be a total wagon.

These days Miles spends his time getting bashed and threatening children.  It looks like Riley’s dad is behind it all.  I hope the YCPD can crack this case.  If not maybe they should bring Robert Robertson back.  Maybe they should just do that anyway.

So, the teenage(-ish) couples of Summer Bay are all talking about sex.  Ruby and Geoff decided they’ll have a go, while in a startling move, Nicole is standing her ground with Liam and refusing him access.  Is that because she’s changed her tune, or because she has her wee eye on Aden?  Ooooh, mucho mysterioso.

Now, where are Martha and Hugo and Suzy and Bungbung?

Crying with laughter

Tuesday, January 12th, 2010

Watch this and you will be too. We often thought about dubbing Home and Away, but this fecker got there first:

Rhys Sutherland

Monday, January 4th, 2010

Given that we’ve no new episodes to discuss this week, I thought it was time to delve into the archives again and examine another character from the Bay’s glorious history.

If Rhys had an anger meter it would go up to 11, and rarely drop below 10. He moved to the bay with his wife Shelly and his family many years ago. They took over the caravan park. Rhys looked a bit like a fish and was a pretty wooden character. I could never figure out why Shelly went out with him.

Rhys and Shelly had 3 daughters: the “twins” Kirsty & Jade and Dani. Dani was a bit of a moany hole. She went out with Will Smyth until she realised that he wasn’t the Hollywood star of Independence Day and Men in Black. She then went out with Josh West who was a tool. Then she was raped by Kane Phillips. Back in those days, they used to say “attack” rather than “rape”. Kirsty found this irresistible and eloped with her sister’s rapist.  All of this drove Rhys off the edge and he had a rage stroke.

Shelly left him to nobody’s great surprise. But he soon ended up with Beth Hunter, to everyone’s surprise. She was a living saint and was a good influence on the raging Rhys. She told him to keep his temper in check or he’d be kicked to the curb. Alas her wholesome ways weren’t enough for dumb ass Rhys and he left Beth once home wrecker Shelly appeared back on the scene. I don’t think too many tears were shed in the bay the day he left. Thankfully, he’s never come back.

The Least Craic in Summer Bay

Tuesday, December 15th, 2009

Oh look, Rachel won out as the least craic in Summer Bay, with just over 100 of the 373 votes we received! Understandable really, as she fell to whiny, moany pieces once she had a baby.
Annie took second place, followed by Jai, Bartlett and Charlie. I’m surprised Kirsty wasn’t further up the poll (no pun intended).
Miles only got 2% of the vote, confirming what I’ve always suspected – YOU LOVE HIM!

Who is the least craic in Summer Bay?

  • Rachel (27%, 128 Votes)
  • Annie (15%, 72 Votes)
  • Jai (14%, 68 Votes)
  • Bartlett (11%, 53 Votes)
  • Charlie (7%, 33 Votes)
  • Kirsty (6%, 28 Votes)
  • Xavier (6%, 27 Votes)
  • Robert Robertson (4%, 20 Votes)
  • Martha (4%, 20 Votes)
  • Angelo (2%, 10 Votes)
  • Leah (2%, 9 Votes)
  • Miles (2%, 8 Votes)

Total Voters: 476

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bring back miles
Original image from This is Oz

all the dead

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