There’s going to be an Irish girl in Home and Away.

But, what’s more, she’s engaged to real-life Kane!

IF ANYTHING HAPPENS TO THE BAYBEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

Well, that’s that. For a moment, there was a glimmer of hope that Colleen might not jet off to Las Vegas, but in the end, she went. John Palmer made sure to get a squeeze before she departed. Alf sent an email that tugged at the heartstrings terribly. Even Morag showed up. Farewell, Miss Groper! We’ll never see her likes again.

Things in the Bay continued as normal after Mrs. Smart left. Jet is still nicking stuff, i.e. Indi’s purse, Gina is still on the case and Xavier had a go as well. All is not well in the Jet household. Poor oul’ Ma Jet is on the way out, by the look of her.

Heath snuck in April’s bedroom window again, but not for a bit of boldness this time. Instead, he built the cot that Bianca had bought for the bub. Ahhh. Breaking, entering and flat-packing. He may hold his horses though, because Bianca went to the hospital in a panic shortly afterwards. Uh-oh. As Kane once said, “If anything happens to the bay-bee…..”!

Mr. Townsend is still getting a rise out of poor Casey. Gina’s well and truly on the Braxton side though. I love Mr. Townsend. He only has one mood, and here it is:

What happened to Sasha and Stew? She was professing her love for him to Indy and saying how well things are going. She did have the sense to tell him that she’s not ready to “take it to the next level”, which was sensible. That sense deserted her when it came to dressing up for her date with Stew, she looked somewhat ridiculous, which goes to prove that she is a Walker, taking after Indy. So she went out for a ride in Stew’s awesome green machine and he gave her abuse for not texting him back. But the verbals weren’t enough and he slapped her in the face! I hope she sees sense and kicks him to the kerb. No doubt she’ll forgive him, tell herself he’s changed, until he does it again.

Were there any other violent relationships recently? I was casting my mind back to see if I could remember them. Did Kane hit Kirsty at some stage? Maybe I’m slandering him incorrectly. I’ve a feeling we’ve had this storyline before, “what’s new with that” I hear you say.

April is a right little addict these days. Robbing prescription papers from Sid, where will it end? Did she get the wrong tablets for Irene? That didn’t seem clear. Irene seemed very pepped up once she took what April gave her. Irene’s going to end up addicted to pro plus and caffeine tablets.

Summer Bay – popular with surfers, fishermen, rapists and psychopaths.  Now that Ruby has met up with her dad, who raped Charlie, sure it’ll only be five minutes before he ends up in the bay.  It’s a magnet for ne’er do wells.  But maybe the sea air will have a calming and positive influence on him, causing him to mend his erroneous ways.

There have been previous reformed rapists who managed to be accepted in the bay.  First there was Kane who raped Dani back in the day. He was eventually accepted by all, even Kirsty for some bizarre reason.  In more recent times Henk made an appearance which shocked Rachel as he had raped her when they were younger.  Cassie wasn’t too put off and went out with him despite his weird name.

How long are Kirsty and Kane going to keep treating Ollie as a bit of old rope?  One of them steals him from the other who subsequently robs him back. Sure the poor creature doesn’t know if he’s coming or going.

Is Colleen the most formal person in Austrailia?  She addresses Charlie by her full title of Senior Constable Buckton. In keeping with this modus operandi, she should call Martha “ex pole dancer McKensie” and Rachel “Dr/Surgeon/Psychologist Armstrong”.

Looks like Martha will be getting back with Roman now.  Poor oul’ Jack all the same.  Sure haven’t we been saying for years that his inept policing would be the death of him?

Melody looked a bit like Carrie at the formal, and was equally as mad.

Kane magically got out of jail and wants Kirsty back.  Pity that didn’t work for the V-man back in the day; I reckon he would have had more success.

Oh, and Belle may as well move into the hospital now.  Irene spends half her time there, as it is.

So it looks like Nicole might be on the bubble, up the pole and in the family way.  Good.  It’s ages since we had a decent teenage pregnancy scandal.  What will Holy Geoff do though?  Surely he’ll have to flagellate himself?

Why is Kirsty helping Kane out?  And why does he need 5K in prison?  She should cut him right off, otherwise Bartlett will be calling around for repayment in kind…

…whoever wins, we lose.

Jack was so confused when he ran up to the getaway car and Kane wasn’t in it! You could almost see the cogs turning behind his squinting eyes.

Kane isn’t one for outwitting anyone. Foiled during his very obvious burglary, he pulled a couple of burn-outs in the rented car before scarpering into the woods.

How long till Kirsty is working in the Den?
Does Irene think she’s everyone’s mother? First she claimed Dan “He was like a son to me” Baker as one of her own, now she’s got her eye on Kirsty – “Oh Gawd, she’s like a daughter to me”.

Why did Martha give up plumbing being an electrician? I would imagine it’s a fairly lucrative career in a town without any tradesmen. Certainly much more lucrative than working behind a bar or around a pole.

Jazz seems to be collecting teenage friends. First Mattie, now Nicole. Still, you can hardly blame her when the alternative is Leah.

Morag is a total hellraiser these days, not to mention a rollercoaster of emotion. She gave Colleen a fine tongue-whipping before retreating to her lair to cry her dragon tears.

Irene must be minted at this stage. Every second meal served up in Summer Bay seems to be at the diner. Thank goodness it reopened or there would have been a famine.

Did you hear Kane is coming back? Perhaps he and Morag could have an anger-off.