Summer Bay Superpowers

Tuesday, March 9th, 2010

Building on the bonza idea that Drew’s Shrew had about a cross-over Home and Away/Heroes show, commenter Sorry for being a crazy dingo has given us a deadly list of Home and Away character super-powers:

  1. ALF:  grows gills when he jumps in the water and swims underwater, like a fish which is kind of ironic.
  2. COLLEEN:  able to speak any language at will and talk to animals, that means she can gossip with anyone or anything.
  3. MILES:  the ability to eat food without ever getting full. (Sounds like a crappy superpower, but in later seasons he will discover he has a psychic conscience named Rabbit).
  4. NICOLE:  the ability to attract any person at will with her beauty.
  5. JAI:  the ability to be invincible.
  6. IRENE: the ability to attract troubled children into her lair.
  7. ANGELO: the ability to cause amnesia to others (everyone, including Martha, seems to have forgiven him for killing Jack and covering up the murder).
  8. CHARLIE: the ability to change sexuality at will.
  9. RUBY: the ability to screech so loud, it causes one’s ears to bleed.
  10. GINA: the ability to convince people that she’s actually Tony’s sister and not his grandmother.
  11. XAVIER: the same ability as Ruby.
  12. MARTHA: the ability to never grieve and be constantly sexually promiscuous.
  13. LIAM: the ability to be completely forgotten about only few months after being an Australian megastar.
  14. ADEN: the same ability as Martha.
  15. LEAH: the ability to be as sexy as Penelope Cruz but no-one in town appearing to notice.
  16. RACHEL: the ability to heal, in all areas of medicine.
  17. TONY: the ability of super strength.
  18. ROMEO: the ability to surf REALLY REALLY WELL. (That one sucked).
  19. MINK: the ability to stare at someone and kill them. What a bad ass!
  20. VJ: the ability to shoot water bombs from his hands.
  21. MORAG: the ability to be the best lawyer ever.
  22. RABBIT: the ability to rise from the dead, be psychic and make herself invisible to all but Miles.

What do you reckon? Do you have any others to add?

Crying with laughter

Tuesday, January 12th, 2010

Watch this and you will be too. We often thought about dubbing Home and Away, but this fecker got there first:

The Least Craic in Summer Bay

Tuesday, December 15th, 2009

Oh look, Rachel won out as the least craic in Summer Bay, with just over 100 of the 373 votes we received! Understandable really, as she fell to whiny, moany pieces once she had a baby.
Annie took second place, followed by Jai, Bartlett and Charlie. I’m surprised Kirsty wasn’t further up the poll (no pun intended).
Miles only got 2% of the vote, confirming what I’ve always suspected – YOU LOVE HIM!

Who is the least craic in Summer Bay?

  • Rachel (27%, 128 Votes)
  • Annie (15%, 72 Votes)
  • Jai (14%, 68 Votes)
  • Bartlett (11%, 53 Votes)
  • Charlie (7%, 33 Votes)
  • Kirsty (6%, 28 Votes)
  • Xavier (6%, 27 Votes)
  • Robert Robertson (4%, 20 Votes)
  • Martha (4%, 20 Votes)
  • Angelo (2%, 10 Votes)
  • Leah (2%, 9 Votes)
  • Miles (2%, 8 Votes)

Total Voters: 476

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Romeo

Saturday, October 24th, 2009

Martha plumbed new depths yesterday. When Romeo sloped up to her out of the surf and tried to chat her up, she cleverly observed, “you’re not from this town, are you?” How observant.

So Romeo doesn’t appear to fussy. First he tries it on with Martha and then switches his attention to Annie.  What age is he supposed to be? I would have thought there’s about 10 years between Martha and Annie.  Jai is going to have a mickey fit when he finds out his foster brother is cracking onto his ex.

On a more general note, I must admit that I prefer happy go lucky Martha to mopey Martha.  She never ceases to amaze me with her lack of brain power.  How can she be related to Morag?  Chalk and cheese.

Doing it tough

Wednesday, October 21st, 2009

“Doing it tough” is the current phrase du jour in Summer Bay, and with good reason.

  • Aden’s still doing it tough due to Belle’s death.  Surprisingly he didn’t get over it in a week.  I think the Summer Bay time warp is weakening.
  • Sid is doing it tough trying to ward off Nicole.
  • Charlie’s doing it tough trying to nail Grant for every rape in Oz.
  • Jai is doing it tough because he can’t get his hands on Annie.
  • Ruby’s doing it tough because she can’t decide between Xavier and Geoff.
  • Widower dude’s doing it tough because he has a baby and no wife to help with the childrearing.  Rachel or Leah will sort that out for him.
  • Hugo and Confused Martha are doing it tough because the authorities don’t like their shipwreck idea.
  • Kirsty and Miles are doing it tough because they’re having a babog and only one of them is bothered with it.

Brendan is the only one having any craic; I wonder what Ruby II was wearing when he was talking to her?

Rape-rape

Thursday, October 15th, 2009

Uh-oh watch out Ruby, here comes your da with his confusing words and twisting of the truth.  Charlie did a good disbelieving face when she heard that Ruby is making friends with her father.

Where is Dexter and Indigo’s ma from?  She’s a little bit foreign, didn’t know that was allowed in Summer Bay unless you have an Aussie accent to go with it.

Poor Sid, everyone’s effed off on him and all because of Nicole.  He better not get together with her after all of that.  I wonder will Indigo fully recover from her terrible injuries AKA a few scratches to the face.

And Annie is heartbroken.  That’ll probably last five minutes, and she still has Jai to fall back on.

Poor Jai

Tuesday, October 13th, 2009

Ahhh poor oul’ Jai, he’s only heartbroken about Annie and Dexter forming a couple.  Did you see him crying on the beach?  Sweet.  Bet he wishes he was invincible again.

The Nicole and Sid thing is hilarious.  Nicole is great at being sexy, all pouts and sleepy eyes.  But the Doctor’s having none of it.  That doesn’t matter, though, because Indigo saw them kissing which means it’ll be all over the Bay in no time.  Sid may as well go for it.

The baby episode

Monday, October 12th, 2009

That episode revolved around babies.  Rachel’s wrecked because of hers, and Kirsty’s just annoyed that she’s pregnant in the first place.  The S word was mentioned twice.  Rachel wasn’t feeling very sexy (poor Tony’s having a hard time) and Kirsty told Leah she was tired because of all the supposed sex she was having behind Miles’ back.  That told her.

There might be a new love interest for Leah in the form of Rachel’s widower dad mate, who she met at her mother’s group.  The group seemed to be some kind of competitive showcase for child-rearing abilities.  Fun.

Jai thought that the best way to woo Annie was to set up a website for her.  Unfortunately, before he presented her with it, he spotted her wearing the face off Dexter.  I wonder what he posted on www.anniesummerbay.com when he went home?

1 hour 6 minutes

Wednesday, September 2nd, 2009

Janey Trey was flippin’ thrilled with himself when he trapped them all on the bus. He’d make a great panto villain; and he’s a budding writer as well. That’ll go down well in the nick.

Jai would make a great panto eejit, going on a hike with a septic gunshot wound.

Nicole showed Graham what-for. There’s no messing with her. Charlie will be recruiting her for YCPD yet.  Ruby wouldn’t make a cop though. On stake-outs she’d just be thinking of her next toilet break.

Trey’s da John married well eh? His wife looks about 15 years younger.

In the kingdom of the blind

Friday, August 28th, 2009

“Even blind Freddy could see that love.”

Who is this blind Freddy that Irene keeps banging on about? Apparently he’s quite observant. Maybe he’s not blind at all. It’s a pity that he’s not on the school trip to the bush as he might have spotted Trey making a deathlist and Jai succumbing to an infected gunshot wound. Yet again, a field trip turns into a disaster. Why does anybody ever leave the bay?

bring back miles
Original image from This is Oz



all the dead


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