Stud academy

Tuesday, March 19th, 2013

Jett has been getting lady advice from John and Liam, unfortunately it was conflicting advice. John told him to get out in the middle of the disco and mingle while Liam recommended playing it cool and maintaining an air of mystery. Liam managed to save the day by getting Sasha and Rosie to dance with him, making the other girls jealous. It all worked well and he was the belle of the ball.

Kyle and Casey managed to restrain Nelson and bring him to the YCPD station. Casey was still very ungrateful, despite the help that Kyle gave him. The cops took a statement from Tamara and told her that she’ll have to testify in the manslaughter case against Nelson. Kyle has his own case coming up, with Tamara and Casey acting as witnesses for the prosecution, so he could do with getting on their good side.

Tamara went to Sash and thanked her for helping her and Casey. Sasha feels like it wasn’t meant to be between her and Case, must mean that “the universe” didn’t want it to happen. The universe seems to be responsible for an awful lot of what happens in the Bay.

Who is the new cop in the station? He seems far more efficient that the old crew. Jack and Charlie would have messed this case up by now.

Here is a question for all the viewers. Where is Leah? Adam is dead and his son Jamie is in jail. Surely the coast is clear now and she can return to the Bay?

Courtroom drama-rama

Friday, February 1st, 2013

We watched two episodes in a row there. Two DEADLY episodes.

Creepy Jamie sent Leah a picture of herself sleeping; she went nuts so Liam got the Guards. The worst cop of all time showed up to investigate. He basically told Leah he didn’t believe her, and it was her own fault for sleeping with Jamie. Come back Jack, all is forgiven.

So, Leah and Veej shipped out, they’re going on an extended holiday. It seems if your soap-ma gets pregnant, it means no wages for you while she’s on maternity leave. No wonder Veej wants to stay in the Bay with his mates.

Casey’s trial is in full swing. He had a panic attack at the start, but Kyle and Tamara saved the day by sticking up for him. Kyle obvs wants to be one of The Boize.

However, things took a nosedive when Nosey Nat took the stand. She revealed Casey’s anger management problems, so now his chances of freedom look slim.

The prosecution missed a trick not getting Angry Teacher to take the stand.

angry teacher with a bloody nose

Lisa’s husband is looking for her; he’s locked Indi in Angelo’s. There are too many creepy weirdos in the Bay at the moment.

Marilyn is dying to be Roo’s maid of honour, while Harvey has no mates to be groomsmen. He’ll probably ask his sworn enemy, Romeo.

Trainee Officer Renegade

Monday, August 27th, 2012

Hurray, Home and Away is back, and Xavier’s on the beat. This is going to be amazing, he has promise as the worst cop to hit the Bay since Jack (RIP).

So, your first day on the job, an experienced cop shows you around, and tells you not to use the records or the database. What do you do? Use the database, which conveniently is called “Cop Database”. Xavier got a treasured photo from Jett when he saved him from a bashing by Jaden and his crew. He ran the photo through Cop Database and found out that it was of some  dude with a drug dealing record. Enter new baddie.

Bianca is back to herself now, and doesn’t remember her previous madness. That bodes well for River Baby.

J is for…

Monday, August 13th, 2012

We don’t have any good suggestions for J. Feel free to add a comment and let us know what we forgot.

We’ve had a few characters with J names like James the stoner, Jonah the cultist and Jack the crap cop. Now we have we Jett, causing problems and robbing purses, the little scamp.

Police, politics and plots

Monday, March 5th, 2012

What is Denis up to? Romeo saw him putting a body sized object into the boot of his car down on the resort building site. Romeo reckoned that John and Denis were trying to get Harvey out of the picture for good, then he saw Denis loading his car boot in the dead of night, what’s a boy to think? Sometimes 2+2 does not 5. I suspect Romeo’s suspicions will cost him his job and get him in trouble with his wife. Speaking of Indi, how does she have time for college, she has a job in the diner and another one working for Denis. Busy woman.

Xavier got accepted into the cops which was great for him if slightly surprising given the history of incompetent police activity (cousin Jack) and people smuggling (brother Hugo) in his family. He’s going to fit right in with the YCPD. He did a bit of preemptive social brown nosing by going for a drink with Constable Watson. She must be top dog since Charlie’s retirement/assassination. Given how fast things move, Xavier could be chief of police inside six months.

The lives and loves of Martha McKenzie

Thursday, July 1st, 2010

Methodical? Never.

Mysterious? Sometimes.

Misunderstood? Often

Monogamous? Rarely.

Moron? Always.

Martha.  Summer bay is a poorer place without it’s resident wild card. You can say many things about her but life was never dull with her around. It’s hard to know where to start with her.

She arrived in town with a flash when Jack dared her to streak naked along the seafront.  Alf was unimpressed but he had to get used to these kind of shenanigans from his grand daughter.  She later went onto appear in a strip club as a pole dancer which was classic H&A viewing.  She wasn’t slow in showing her assets.

Yes, it was never dull with old Martha.  She was the subject of regular kidnappings, attempted murder, car crashes, cancer, miscarriages and any kind of disaster going really.  The bay will miss it’s resident queen of drama.

She knew when to fight for what was right, such as when she saved Tasha from Mama Rose and the cult.  She also knew when to forgive and forget with Jonah’s past and Hugo’s people smuggling.  Bit of a goldfish memory.

Martha had a talent for making snap decisions.  This is what made herself and Jack such a good match.  Life changing choices like “I’m going to buy a farm”, “I’m adopting Bum bum” or “I’m leaving the bay” would be made in space of a lunch hour.  It would often be followed by the rational of “I’ve thought about it” –  for a whole five minutes, went unsaid.

What of her lovers?  Let us count the names.  I’ll start with Jack. I wonder if we can name them all?

I’m a coward and a scumbag

Friday, February 5th, 2010

So Hugo’s not dead after all.  It was an elaborate ruse to catch Suzy.  I hope it feckin’ works.  Also, who’s to say they didn’t do the same thing with Jack?  Hmmmmm?  Maybe we should let go of that one.

Why did Alf have to know?  This is all going to backfire.  He’ll tell Colleen at some Stewart soiree and then the cats in the street will find out.

Xavier got loads of dosh from his cowardly scumbag brother.  Maybe he’ll take up dealing again.

Miles has a new mate.  I thought she might be imaginary but maybe not.

Sly one

Wednesday, February 3rd, 2010

Well, Hugo got off in the end, he’s gone to the big people-smuggling depot in the sky.  He was a crap villain anyway.

Angelo survived getting shot in the head, he’s just like that fella, Kurt Cobain.  How did he survive that?*

I do believe Martha said at one point, “I don’t know what’s going on”, which I thought was default mode for her.  She forgave Angelo for shooting Jack anyway.

Bungbung/Bangbang/Bumbum has gone back to his dad now that he has learned English and how to play the guitar.  Those guys are going to go far.  Martha looked pretty sad.  After all, she just lost a farm slave.

So, that’s the end of the mystery.  It was a long time coming and was quite good in the end.  I don’t really think it’s CHANGED SUMMER BAY FOREVER though.

*See Father Ted


Thursday, January 21st, 2010

Ooh Aden brought a moany bird to the formal and ended up with Silvery Nicole the whole night. Only, when he was about to go in for the kill, he was reminded of Belle and went nuts. Nicole and Liam had their “I respect you, I won’t rush you” talk for about the fifth time. Snoooooooooooze.

Martha found an engagement ring. It took her about twenty seconds before she copped on. Meanwhile, across town, Hugo was staring at a picture of Martha and Jack on their wedding day for ages. WHAT DOES HE KNOW?  IS JACK STILL ALIVE?

Suzy tried to lure Hugo back to Indonesia. Eff off Suzy. “Hello Marta”

OK Rachel has lost it

Thursday, September 17th, 2009

Rachel is a pain in the hoop. You’d think she’d be delighted to have the negligence case sorted, but no, she just looked annoyed that she had nothing to moan about. Then Tony brought Harry to the diner to introduce him to Auntie Colleen, and Rachel nearly lost her reason. She’d want to watch herself or topless Tony (did you see that?) will be packing Harry up for good.

Martha is certainly acting like a happy spa these days. Better that than weepy and confused I suppose.

Those were crafty tactics by Morag, using Ross’s Alzheimer’s to try to get to the bottom of the baby mystery. But Charlie had a trick up her sleeve as well, saying her baby had died when in fact she was sitting opposite with a gaping mouth that would catch all the flies in Oz. I suppose it’s her cop training that allows her to think so quickly, but Jack would never have thought of that.

Poor Charlie all the same, it looks like her journey to the next level wasn’t as consensual as most.

bring back miles
Original image from This is Oz

all the dead

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