What happened there? The short answer is not very much. Here are the bullet points:

• Sid is struggling to cope with the fact that Dex doesn’t know what to do with his life and doesn’t want to follow in his footsteps but wants to be a nurse instead.
• Irene collapsed in the hospital. She’s still feeling crook but it was only indigestion this time.
• Xav admitted to Gina that he has the hots for Sash. He went for a pash on the beech but was knocked back. She promptly told him to keep his distance as she’s toxic.
• Romeo hates his job working for Denis but is afraid to tell Indi. Turns out he’s decent at it despite himself and sold 5 apartments.
• Harvey is causing havoc with the development and will do his best to block it if elected.

Hopefully tomorrow will be more interesting.

What do you do in small town Australia if you have a medical degree but no job? Hang around the diner in your track suit apparently. Then he went to the hospital and tried to take over Irene’s treatment. Maybe he should get a job as a pizza delivery boy for Angelo’s.

Irene has to take it handy now because of her heart problems. Do you think she’ll listen? I would imagine that she’ll be back in the diner in no time.

Heath and Dex had a bit of a face off in the surf club. That’s a fight I’d like to see but blink and you’d miss it. Dex had a bit of a heart to heart with April and told her that he hadn’t got it on with Dallas. There was hints of rapprochement there but then April met Heath on the beech and went back to his place for more sexiness. Then her conscience pricked her as she’d promised Bianca she’d stay away from him. Heath made do with his playstation, what age is he supposed to be?

So Brax and Casey went up the coast for a surf but where is Ruby gone? Did she go to the city on her own? She didn’t have any sort of going away do. Maybe she’s concentrating on her music career, recording a follow up single to “kisses hurt so much”.

In that episode, Irene was in rude health, and decided to take a solo trip on the glittering waters of the Bay. Her erstwhile beau, Lou, taught her the tricks of the nautical trade before he met his maritime end. This more recent trip didn’t turn out well for Irene; she keeled over as soon as she left dry land. Another one in the long list of Summer Bay leisure-trip disasters.

Poor Dex. He saw April leave Heath’s house early in the morning, and correctly presumed there was next-level-visiting going on. He promptly called to Dallas in the surf club, and offered himself up to her. Unimpressed, she soon forgave Dex and told him she likes him lots and lots.

Poor April. She hung around Heath so much that he was forced to tell her that he only gave her a poke in order to get back at Bianca. Sound man.

Someone made a reference to Xavier going to Police Academy. Hahahahaha. I hope they have a medical wing at the training facility.

Selina arrived in the bay with a bad attitude and a bad mother. She ditched them both and changed her ways to become a shining light of goodness by the time she left. She moved in with Irene and liked it so much that she even adopted her name.

Selina met a boy called Jesse. He was a bit of a bad boy but that wasn’t a problem for Selina. Selina was a great one for leading fellas up the stairs by the hand in Irene’s house which usually meant that they were about to take it to the next level. That happened quite a few times. She pioneered that move but many others have taken up that torch since then, including Gypsy, Martha and Nicole.

As well as dating Jessie, she also went out with Jack Wilson. Jack, like Selina, was a bit of a tearaway but had a good heart, don’t they all? Selina also had a fling with Damian, Irene’s son, which led to a teen pregnancy. She miscarried in the school which was pretty traumatic event for her.

She had many advertures during her time in the bay, which included joining a cult led by Saul. Saul had a powerful effect on Selina and became a bit obsessed with her. She overcame his brainwashing after her friends intervened but that wasn’t enough for Saul and he kidnapped her not once, not twice but three times. Persistance sometimes pays off but not in this case, he got shot to bits by the cops.

Selina had a thing for Stephen Matheson, one of the original cast members who made a return as an adult. This would have been fine except for the fact that he was Selina’s teacher. The broke off their illicit affair and he left town but she still harboured feelings for him when she was going out with Jesse. When she bumped into Stevo again, she couldn’t deny her feelings for him. They agreed to get married and managed to go through with it at the second attempt, the first was a non-starter what with all the kidnapping and shooting. The course of true love never did run smooth.

Liam’s jam/biro scars seemed to clear up between the first scene and the car auction. He got a bit of a land when Bianca tried to get him to buy a family car for when they start a family in the future.Liam isn’t ready to put his rock star past behind and bought another bike, much to Bianca’s chagrin.

April is organising a list of potential take it to the next level dudes. She met a bloke called Jonathan at the auction, who asked her to go to the formal with him. Could he be the one? Apparently not, she told him she’s not ready to move on from Dex yet. It’s between Xavier and Heath at the minute. Bianca is not impressed with her hanging around with Heath. Given how she’s going through a rebellious phase I fear she’ll opt for the bad boy. This good girl gone bad storyline reminds me of when Jade went off the rails and organised a sit in.

Marilyn organised a girly lunch for Irene with Colleen and Roo. Irene thanked the girls for standing by her during her cancer trials. What did she expect them to say, “I hear you’re sick so stay out of our way until you’re better”? They decided to invoke the dart arts by doing a tarot card reading. Unsurprisingly it predicted that somebody will die. Who could it be? Colleen lost the plot and Irene looked worried, so worried that she decided to make a will.

Mink is hanging around like a bad smell. Somehow she thinks there is loads of money in the Bank of Romeo. Indi even offered to give her her day spa voucher, and she threw it on the ground. Inconsiderate cahhhhh. Romeo later said he’d have money for her by the end of the week. But Mink isn’t allowed to tell Indi. Bad move Romeo.

Sid met new Doctor Kerrie at Irene’s and asked her out for lunch. Irene found out Roo still has eyes for the doc and got into a terrible fluster. She told Sid, who wasn’t impressed with Kerrie’s lack of opinions anyway.

Stu made friends with Sid and got Sasha’s grounding lifted. Sasha reluctantly went to the beach with The Basher. Later Xavier found her moaning on a bench, and took her to hospital. I call infected tattoo. Xave must have enjoyed that, normally he’s the patient.

Liam is staying with Bianca in Irene’s house to recover from his jam stains. Where did Liam live before this, in a caravan? How much room is there in Irene’s house? Loads by the looks of it.

Bianca and April are having sisterly tiffs over their respective love lives. Usually it’s April who has more sense but Bianca looks smarter this time, moving on from Heath to Liam. April is displaying a lot of interest in Heath, an unhealthy amount. She must be very hot, she came home at night after a day out still wearing her bikini. Xavier set her up by tricking her into going to the pizzaria where Dex was waiting. April believed him that he didn’t do Dallas but still broke up with him over his boorish bragging.

Xavier seemed happy to see Mink and vice versa. She’s not back five minutes and is already causing trouble. She scabbed a free lunch from Indi and borrowed money from Romeo. Indi is wise to her scams but Romeo is too trusting. She wants to borrow money as she’s in a bit of strife but where is Romeo going to get two thousand dollars? He’s making a fortune teaching the schoolies to surf but that won’t go on forever. Indi wants him to think of the future but he can’t see past tomorrow, poor boy.

I’m so excited, I’m gonna live blog this episode, here goes:

Argh, shut up about sport, RTE people!
I forgot about Harvey’s stupid face!
Also forgot about Sid’s declaration of love!
Harvey’s in the “barbecue area”.
Roo is keeping Harvey at bay cos of the doc.
Romeo slacking on his dinner preparations, very slow chopping.
Marilyn’s hair is lovely.
Roo and Marilyn having a girlie chat about boys.
Miles and Veej hanging out on beach.
Colleen driving sick Irene mad.
There’s going to be a surprise fundraiser for Irene.
Harvey putting pressure on Alf re: Blaxland.
“Just because I’m your son, doesn’t mean you can control everything I do”. Veej demands RESPECT.
Miles is very philosophical about the break-up. Veej thinks it’s Leah’s fault.

BREAK

Poor Irene is crying. Awwww. Cancer’s no joke.
Alf says Colleen’s mouth works overtime. He’s not wrong.
Irene is not on for leaving the house.
Alf’s under orders to wear pink for the fundraiser.
“Are you using me to get Dad’s boat”, sez Roo to Harvey.
Veej and Leah rowing. IM NEARLY THIRTEEN.
Marilyn coaxing Irene out of house. Very persuasive.
Roo and Harvey row, Alf kicks him out. IN YER FACE HARVEY
Irene stunned at fundraiser, makes speech.
Palmer in pink cowboy hat.
Roo calls to farm, Romeo can lease Blaxland again, Sid says forget about his declaration of love.
The ladies have wine, cake and biscuits.
Veej getting a bus outta town. I bet he’s going to THE CITY.

Liam’s in the hospital after colliding with Brax and Charlie’s cahhhh. I hope nothing happens to Xavier before the rockstar recovers, there’ll be no bed for him.

Heath and Bianca covered for Chax. Bianca is overly distraught, considering she and Liam are no longer an item.

Sid convinced Alf to hold off on the boat sale. Harvey is very anxious to close the deal. He called around to Romeo to give him a bollocking. Indi overheard and was shocked at Harvey’s extreme knobishness.

Sam admitted to driving the apple core getaway car, meaning Brax is off the hook. Charlie still resigned though. Boss Joyce was confused as to why.

Sid made a house call to Irene, who seems to have lost her hair overnight. That’s the end of her lovely new do! Roo called around and ad a blue with Sid, who ended up telling her Harvey is a fool and he still loves her. Awwww.

Home and Away is off the air now, until JANUARY 16th! How on earth will we manage?

Colleen came out with another classic line today, “what’s got you grinning like a chestnut cat?” Brilliant.

Irene is back at work but find it hard going. Having to listen to Coleen’s insane ramblings must make it tough.

Charlie and Bianca went on a girlie weekend away. Bianca is some masochist, putting herself through 24 hours alone with Charlie. Chaz is feeling guilty after putting her job at risk over Brax. She got Heath up to keep an eye on her. They ended up together, big surprise. Then Brax ran Liam off his bike on the way home. Bianca didn’t deal with it too well. Maybe there’s still something there between the two of them?

Sasha got another beating from Stew. She keeps getting bashed but she keeps coming back for more. That poor kid needs to get over her self loathing. Sid is going to find out and then there will be some serious beatings.