Home and Away Ireland » Irene

Overnight bump

Ailsa — Tue, 15 May 2012 18:05:28 +0000

Well, Bianca grew a baby bump overnight, decided to leave town, Liam quit his job, and Heath felt the baby kick. How many times has Liam caught Bianca and Heath together? He got mad and basically admitted he doesn’t want the baby. In fairness, who wants to raise a River Baby? They’d be permanently topless, and always causing fights. Your house and head would be wrecked.

Bianca and April are sly hos. Bianca ran straight to Irene when she was upset, but when Irene had cancer, she basically ignored her. April had no interest in Dex till he found a new buddy. HOS.

P.S. How come Bianca never speaks Italian anymore?

P.P.S. Liam Murphy has some neck telling Leah to clear out of her own house for the evening.

It’s a flippin’ mess

Flathead — Thu, 26 Apr 2012 23:23:05 +0000

April got served by Liam on the beach. She’s also in deep doo-doo with Bianca. So she went straight to Dex, to cry on his shoulder. Poor Dex, he’s a bit of a doormat, he puts up with everybody’s crap. Then he had to try and act normal while April paraded around the farm in front of him wearing one of his t-shirts. I don’t know how he managed to contain himself.

Casey was up to his old tricks with Henry. He called over for a “tutoring session” but hid in the bedroom when Heath called over. Why did he hide? Why not say he was there for tutoring? Then they got a little pash in after class, living dangerously.

Liam and Bianca made an adult decision, they are going to move out and get a place for themselves, or are they? That was what I assumed when they said they were thinking of leaving Irene’s house, but it turns out they just moved into Leah’s instead. Why can’t they afford their own place? It makes no sense.

A tangled web

Ailsa — Wed, 25 Apr 2012 18:08:02 +0000

Well, Liam found out that Heath knows about the baby, so he’s mad at Bianca, and so Bianca’s mad at April and never wants to see her again. However, Liam knew Bianca had slept with Heath when he married her, so he should just effin’ get over it. They could have one of these new-fangled families, with multiple daddies, one of whom slept with Bianca and her sister. They could have awkward Christmasses and Anzac Days from here to eternity. Plus, why are they all still living with Irene? Maybe Heath and Darcy could move in and complete the set.

Ma Stu admitted to poisoning Da Stu. She’s not a bad egg. She told Sid where the book of shame was, and he went to her very badly secured house and got it. Drama over for Sasha. Will she still go to trial or what?

Fast Friday Fill-in

Ailsa — Fri, 13 Apr 2012 17:59:32 +0000

Bianca told Liam that Heath’s the baby-daddy; Liam stormed off. He’s on for bringing up baby, but only if no-one finds out. Wonder how long that will stay a secret…

Irene had a birthday party; she is grateful for her mates. She shared her present with Eddie; Liam’s not impressed.

Ruby got 250,000 dollahs from Charlie’s estate, but it upset her.

Indi wore a thing on the beach that only covered one boob.

Harvey and Roo are trying to make each other jealous by going on dates with other people.

Brax got a cricket bat to the head while totting up the till. The assailant’s identity is a mystery.

Birthdays, breakfasts and babies

Flathead — Thu, 12 Apr 2012 18:13:29 +0000

Henri said she can’t tutor Casey after he revealed that he has the hots for her. Heath found out about it and slagged his brother about his crush. Casey wasn’t impressed, understandably. He confronted Henri and she didn’t deny that she had feelings for him but told him to keep his distance. The poor woman is helpless when it comes to advances from a Braxton.

There was a beachside Braxton bashathon when Casey told Heath how much of a classless goon he had been, getting with April, to try and get back at Bianca. Casey subsequently went over to Henri’s gaff with his busted nose. She felt sorry for him and didn’t push him away when he slipped her the tongue. Braxton charms work once again.

Why does April never eat anything? She always seems to be turning down food from Irene or Bianca. Stupid Bianca didn’t cop on that it was Irene’s birthday. Bianca is a selfish fool. She never thinks of anyone bar herself. Still don’t know why herself and Liam are living with Irene. Can’t they afford their own place? One thing she has picked up while lodging in the beach house, is how to do a canny impression of Irene.

She took April to her baby scan aas Liam couldn’t make it. The doctor told her that she was more pregnant than she thought, which means that the baby is Heath’s not Liam’s. How is she going to tell him? It’ll surely send him back off the rails, he’ll be the local junkie again in no time.

Effin’ Eddie

Ailsa — Tue, 03 Apr 2012 18:07:36 +0000

Irene has a new singing teacher called Eddie. He’s a gas man. His classes go from breakfast till lunch, and extend to the diner. He told Liam there’s a fire burning inside him, and that he is going to make it in the music business. He also likes strawberries on his pancakes.

April is an actual simpleton. She told Heath she loves him, and thought he had booked them a night away. Good Jaysus. Henri sabotaged the romantic getaway, but no doubt April will forgive Heath once again.

Bianca’s bun

Flathead — Thu, 22 Mar 2012 20:28:14 +0000

Bianca’s burgeoning bubble is becoming well known baywide, thanks to Coleen’s inquiring and gossiping. That woman is incorrigible.

Leah and Ruby had a bit of a cry and a make up coffee in Alf’s house. Leah reckoned that Ruby is the only one who can help Brax from falling apart at the seams. She went over to say have a chat with him but he was busy getting it on with a young wan. Rubes hit the effin roof as she felt he was disrespecting her late ma.

Liam “Ireland’s own” Murphy gave Irene some guitar lessons even though he hates country music. Good to see he’s being the bigger man.

Roo-minations

Ailsa — Mon, 12 Mar 2012 20:25:49 +0000

So Roo has decided to join Harvey’s drive to give Summer Bay some daycent parkland. More fool her. John isn’t too impressed, especially since he put 400k into the development, not 100k as previously thought. Gina will have his guts for garters.

To add insult to injury, Casey’s klepto mate robbed John’s car. I bet Klepto was Casey’s prison-husband.

Ruby’s back on the sauce, but Dex is keeping an eye on her. She managed to seduce him with some kind of ape dance. Guess he and April really are over. *sob*

Irene got DVT from sitting on the couch for 3 days. She should have known the SummerBayTimeWarp works on illness too. Colleen came up with some hilarious acronyms for it: IUD, DVD, etc.

Doctor Sid wants to become Flying Doctor Sid. He probably used to watch it on telly, after A Country Practice.

You know we bongo together

Ailsa — Wed, 07 Mar 2012 20:04:57 +0000

So, after much ado, Bianca and Liam got married. I don’t know why Marilyn’s hairdressing business never took off, she’s got skillz yo.

Heath texted April, Bianca saw the text, went to find Heath to give out, was spotted getting into his car by that nuisance paparazzo, Heath and Bianca took off in the car, paparazzo gave chase, Heath went off-road to lose the snapper, and got a flat. So, everyone at the wedding presumed Bianca had done a runner. Understandable, that, seeing as that’s what happened last time she had a do.

In true Summer-Bay stylee, loads of people were missing. Neither party’s parents (or in the case of Liam, children) were there, Indi didn’t bother as her da is a murder suspect and she didn’t want questions, and Irene stayed at home on account of her dicky ticker. Luckily, Roo wore enough dress for 7 people, so that bulked out the crowd a bit.

Axle “Bongo” Whitehead’s version of the Home and Away theme accompanied the ceremony. It’s bouncy.

Sasha’s hair-bow-yoke was found where Stu met his maker. The net is closing.

Bucks, bags and Bianca

Flathead — Wed, 29 Feb 2012 19:48:42 +0000

It was a fairly eventful night in Summer bay what with Bianca’s hen and Liam’s stag. Liam asked Romeo to be his best man which seemed surprising but he doesn’t really have any other friends so it was the only option. Bianca is asking April to be her maid of honour which is fair enough but surprising in the fact it was such an orthodox choice. At her last engagement party she asked Charlie to be her MOH. Given that they had only known each other for about a week, I expected her to ask somebody she’d just met, like the new teacher Henry.

Bianca had her hen’s night in Irene’s house which seemed a strange choice, but there are only so many available venues in the bay. It was all going well when Roo suggested they turf the contents of each other’s bags on the floor. Messy. Then a stripper dressed as a Firie turned up only to leg it when he saw Bianca and Gina there. It turned out he was a ex-Summer-Bay-High student. They didn’t seem too bothered by alumni working as stippers.

Liam’s bash was on in Angelo’s courtesy of Brax. Heath turned up at the bucks night with the rest of the boys. Where were the boys when he was getting intimidated by Geoffrey King? Conspicuous by their absence. Geoffrey is leaving Brax alone now as Leah paid him off. Now Brax owes Leah $25k, all thanks to Heath. He would have been better off paying his brother the money to leave town, then he’d stop costing him money. How long will it be before Brax comes out of mourning and he starts getting it on with Leah?

Dex dilemma

Flathead — Mon, 27 Feb 2012 19:34:06 +0000

What happened there? The short answer is not very much. Here are the bullet points:

Sid is struggling to cope with the fact that Dex doesn’t know what to do with his life and doesn’t want to follow in his footsteps but wants to be a nurse instead.
Irene collapsed in the hospital. She’s still feeling crook but it was only indigestion this time.
Xav admitted to Gina that he has the hots for Sash. He went for a pash on the beech but was knocked back. She promptly told him to keep his distance as she’s toxic.
Romeo hates his job working for Denis but is afraid to tell Indi. Turns out he’s decent at it despite himself and sold 5 apartments.
Harvey is causing havoc with the development and will do his best to block it if elected.

Hopefully tomorrow will be more interesting.

What Sid did next

Flathead — Tue, 21 Feb 2012 19:53:45 +0000

What do you do in small town Australia if you have a medical degree but no job? Hang around the diner in your track suit apparently. Then he went to the hospital and tried to take over Irene’s treatment. Maybe he should get a job as a pizza delivery boy for Angelo’s.

Irene has to take it handy now because of her heart problems. Do you think she’ll listen? I would imagine that she’ll be back in the diner in no time.

Heath and Dex had a bit of a face off in the surf club. That’s a fight I’d like to see but blink and you’d miss it. Dex had a bit of a heart to heart with April and told her that he hadn’t got it on with Dallas. There was hints of rapprochement there but then April met Heath on the beech and went back to his place for more sexiness. Then her conscience pricked her as she’d promised Bianca she’d stay away from him. Heath made do with his playstation, what age is he supposed to be?

So Brax and Casey went up the coast for a surf but where is Ruby gone? Did she go to the city on her own? She didn’t have any sort of going away do. Maybe she’s concentrating on her music career, recording a follow up single to “kisses hurt so much”.

I’m on a boat and, it’s going fast and, I got a nautical-themed pashmina afghan

Ailsa — Mon, 20 Feb 2012 19:24:43 +0000

In that episode, Irene was in rude health, and decided to take a solo trip on the glittering waters of the Bay. Her erstwhile beau, Lou, taught her the tricks of the nautical trade before he met his maritime end. This more recent trip didn’t turn out well for Irene; she keeled over as soon as she left dry land. Another one in the long list of Summer Bay leisure-trip disasters.

Poor Dex. He saw April leave Heath’s house early in the morning, and correctly presumed there was next-level-visiting going on. He promptly called to Dallas in the surf club, and offered himself up to her. Unimpressed, she soon forgave Dex and told him she likes him lots and lots.

Poor April. She hung around Heath so much that he was forced to tell her that he only gave her a poke in order to get back at Bianca. Sound man.

Someone made a reference to Xavier going to Police Academy. Hahahahaha. I hope they have a medical wing at the training facility.

Selina Roberts

Flathead — Sat, 18 Feb 2012 18:49:58 +0000

Selina arrived in the bay with a bad attitude and a bad mother. She ditched them both and changed her ways to become a shining light of goodness by the time she left. She moved in with Irene and liked it so much that she even adopted her name.

Selina met a boy called Jesse. He was a bit of a bad boy but that wasn’t a problem for Selina. Selina was a great one for leading fellas up the stairs by the hand in Irene’s house which usually meant that they were about to take it to the next level. That happened quite a few times. She pioneered that move but many others have taken up that torch since then, including Gypsy, Martha and Nicole.

As well as dating Jessie, she also went out with Jack Wilson. Jack, like Selina, was a bit of a tearaway but had a good heart, don’t they all? Selina also had a fling with Damian, Irene’s son, which led to a teen pregnancy. She miscarried in the school which was pretty traumatic event for her.

She had many advertures during her time in the bay, which included joining a cult led by Saul. Saul had a powerful effect on Selina and became a bit obsessed with her. She overcame his brainwashing after her friends intervened but that wasn’t enough for Saul and he kidnapped her not once, not twice but three times. Persistance sometimes pays off but not in this case, he got shot to bits by the cops.

Selina had a thing for Stephen Matheson, one of the original cast members who made a return as an adult. This would have been fine except for the fact that he was Selina’s teacher. The broke off their illicit affair and he left town but she still harboured feelings for him when she was going out with Jesse. When she bumped into Stevo again, she couldn’t deny her feelings for him. They agreed to get married and managed to go through with it at the second attempt, the first was a non-starter what with all the kidnapping and shooting. The course of true love never did run smooth.

Car marts and dark arts

Flathead — Tue, 31 Jan 2012 19:04:56 +0000

Liam’s jam/biro scars seemed to clear up between the first scene and the car auction. He got a bit of a land when Bianca tried to get him to buy a family car for when they start a family in the future.Liam isn’t ready to put his rock star past behind and bought another bike, much to Bianca’s chagrin.

April is organising a list of potential take it to the next level dudes. She met a bloke called Jonathan at the auction, who asked her to go to the formal with him. Could he be the one? Apparently not, she told him she’s not ready to move on from Dex yet. It’s between Xavier and Heath at the minute. Bianca is not impressed with her hanging around with Heath. Given how she’s going through a rebellious phase I fear she’ll opt for the bad boy. This good girl gone bad storyline reminds me of when Jade went off the rails and organised a sit in.

Marilyn organised a girly lunch for Irene with Colleen and Roo. Irene thanked the girls for standing by her during her cancer trials. What did she expect them to say, “I hear you’re sick so stay out of our way until you’re better”? They decided to invoke the dart arts by doing a tarot card reading. Unsurprisingly it predicted that somebody will die. Who could it be? Colleen lost the plot and Irene looked worried, so worried that she decided to make a will.

The new doc

Ailsa — Wed, 25 Jan 2012 19:02:43 +0000

Mink is hanging around like a bad smell. Somehow she thinks there is loads of money in the Bank of Romeo. Indi even offered to give her her day spa voucher, and she threw it on the ground. Inconsiderate cahhhhh. Romeo later said he’d have money for her by the end of the week. But Mink isn’t allowed to tell Indi. Bad move Romeo.

Sid met new Doctor Kerrie at Irene’s and asked her out for lunch. Irene found out Roo still has eyes for the doc and got into a terrible fluster. She told Sid, who wasn’t impressed with Kerrie’s lack of opinions anyway.

Stu made friends with Sid and got Sasha’s grounding lifted. Sasha reluctantly went to the beach with The Basher. Later Xavier found her moaning on a bench, and took her to hospital. I call infected tattoo. Xave must have enjoyed that, normally he’s the patient.

Dex didn’t do Dallas

Flathead — Tue, 24 Jan 2012 19:01:27 +0000

Liam is staying with Bianca in Irene’s house to recover from his jam stains. Where did Liam live before this, in a caravan? How much room is there in Irene’s house? Loads by the looks of it.

Bianca and April are having sisterly tiffs over their respective love lives. Usually it’s April who has more sense but Bianca looks smarter this time, moving on from Heath to Liam. April is displaying a lot of interest in Heath, an unhealthy amount. She must be very hot, she came home at night after a day out still wearing her bikini. Xavier set her up by tricking her into going to the pizzaria where Dex was waiting. April believed him that he didn’t do Dallas but still broke up with him over his boorish bragging.

Xavier seemed happy to see Mink and vice versa. She’s not back five minutes and is already causing trouble. She scabbed a free lunch from Indi and borrowed money from Romeo. Indi is wise to her scams but Romeo is too trusting. She wants to borrow money as she’s in a bit of strife but where is Romeo going to get two thousand dollars? He’s making a fortune teaching the schoolies to surf but that won’t go on forever. Indi wants him to think of the future but he can’t see past tomorrow, poor boy.

It’s baaaack!

Ailsa — Mon, 16 Jan 2012 18:30:54 +0000

I’m so excited, I’m gonna live blog this episode, here goes:

Argh, shut up about sport, RTE people!
I forgot about Harvey’s stupid face!
Also forgot about Sid’s declaration of love!
Harvey’s in the “barbecue area”.
Roo is keeping Harvey at bay cos of the doc.
Romeo slacking on his dinner preparations, very slow chopping.
Marilyn’s hair is lovely.
Roo and Marilyn having a girlie chat about boys.
Miles and Veej hanging out on beach.
Colleen driving sick Irene mad.
There’s going to be a surprise fundraiser for Irene.
Harvey putting pressure on Alf re: Blaxland.
“Just because I’m your son, doesn’t mean you can control everything I do”. Veej demands RESPECT.
Miles is very philosophical about the break-up. Veej thinks it’s Leah’s fault.

BREAK

Poor Irene is crying. Awwww. Cancer’s no joke.
Alf says Colleen’s mouth works overtime. He’s not wrong.
Irene is not on for leaving the house.
Alf’s under orders to wear pink for the fundraiser.
“Are you using me to get Dad’s boat”, sez Roo to Harvey.
Veej and Leah rowing. IM NEARLY THIRTEEN.
Marilyn coaxing Irene out of house. Very persuasive.
Roo and Harvey row, Alf kicks him out. IN YER FACE HARVEY
Irene stunned at fundraiser, makes speech.
Palmer in pink cowboy hat.
Roo calls to farm, Romeo can lease Blaxland again, Sid says forget about his declaration of love.
The ladies have wine, cake and biscuits.
Veej getting a bus outta town. I bet he’s going to THE CITY.

Hooning around like a wild hog

Ailsa — Fri, 16 Dec 2011 19:02:19 +0000

Liam’s in the hospital after colliding with Brax and Charlie’s cahhhh. I hope nothing happens to Xavier before the rockstar recovers, there’ll be no bed for him.

Heath and Bianca covered for Chax. Bianca is overly distraught, considering she and Liam are no longer an item.

Sid convinced Alf to hold off on the boat sale. Harvey is very anxious to close the deal. He called around to Romeo to give him a bollocking. Indi overheard and was shocked at Harvey’s extreme knobishness.

Sam admitted to driving the apple core getaway car, meaning Brax is off the hook. Charlie still resigned though. Boss Joyce was confused as to why.

Sid made a house call to Irene, who seems to have lost her hair overnight. That’s the end of her lovely new do! Roo called around and ad a blue with Sid, who ended up telling her Harvey is a fool and he still loves her. Awwww.

Home and Away is off the air now, until JANUARY 16th! How on earth will we manage?

Cats, cops and criminals

Flathead — Thu, 15 Dec 2011 21:06:59 +0000

Colleen came out with another classic line today, “what’s got you grinning like a chestnut cat?” Brilliant.

Irene is back at work but find it hard going. Having to listen to Coleen’s insane ramblings must make it tough.

Charlie and Bianca went on a girlie weekend away. Bianca is some masochist, putting herself through 24 hours alone with Charlie. Chaz is feeling guilty after putting her job at risk over Brax. She got Heath up to keep an eye on her. They ended up together, big surprise. Then Brax ran Liam off his bike on the way home. Bianca didn’t deal with it too well. Maybe there’s still something there between the two of them?

Sasha got another beating from Stew. She keeps getting bashed but she keeps coming back for more. That poor kid needs to get over her self loathing. Sid is going to find out and then there will be some serious beatings.