Indi and Romeo are absolute disgraces. They briefly spoke about ending their marriage, then went off pashing/next-level-ing with other people. I am glad they were so invested in their marriage that they could abandon it at the drop of a hat. TUT TUT.

Ruby declared her love for Romeo, but luckily he was too locked to hear her.

Dr. Sid made a great growling noise when he met Logan.

Gina got to the bottom of the Henri-Casey alliance, with the help of Veej. Henri is so stupid. Could she not have waited two months until Casey’s exams were over? She could hardly have expected him to have any sense, he’s a River Relative!

Haha Dex loves April and sees her as some kind of hair-tossing goddess. He was eyeing her up at Sasha’s 16th birthday party. Aww cute.

Sasha thought, now that she’s 16, she could take off to the Citee, and become a hairdresser, with Felix in tow. Sid put her straight. So she snuck out after dark.

Romeo and Indi are boring and possibly breaking up.

Brax’s intimidation of Steve got Ruby off the drug charge. So Morag’s off. I would like a Morag and Brax spin-off crimefighting show – “she’s above the law, he’s below it, together they are…”.

Good woman Ruby, she managed to concoct a reason for Morag to stay in town. Ms. Buckton was used as a drug mule by her good friend Steve. Steve is such a good mate that he told the cops Ruby was dealing on the surfing circuit. Sound man Steve.

Romeo told Brax, who was instantly hot on Steve’s tail. I foresee some bashing.

Harvey is getting to know his ex and daughter again. Following some heavy-handed hinting from Marilyn, he told an unimpressed Roo. Harvey is a simpleton.

Harvey’s daughter is sarky and annoying. Just like Harvey, then.

Indi told Romeo off because he chose Ruby over surfing. Then Romeo saw a text from Logan on Indi’s phone. Good. I hope that puts manners on him.

So Sasha’s break-in didn’t go off as planned. In fact, she drew Ma Stu’s attention to the incriminating inscription. Duh.

Ma Stu is poisoning Da Stu, on account of him being a basher. Now Dr. Sid knows, and reported her to Watson and her boys in blue. Oooh Ma Stu.

Indi and Romeo have made up despite their dalliances (or not) with the opposite sex. They admitted to each that their marriage was a mistake. Double Duh.

In real-life news, I am getting a “Let’s die for love, you go first” tattoo.

Indi’s real-life sister is going to be in Home and Away. Bet she nabs a Braxton.

“Hoo-roo!”, said Gina, as Henri set off for Casey’s house. What a wonderful expression.

Gina has lovely sunglasses. Also, she’s still v. cross with John. It’s quite entertaining. Sasha and Xavier engineered a dinner so that John and Gina would talk. It backfired.

Casey looks at Henri as if he wants to lick her. The cat is practically lepping out of that bag. She’s called it off (again).

Indi’s uni mate has a handsome, rich brother. Her husband is out of town with his ex-lover. It’s like something out of Mills and Boon. Indi went to surfertown and saw Ruby in what she thought was Romeo’s bed. Ruby talked Romeo out of going after Indi and he stupidly agreed. DICKHEAD.

There were a lot of dickheads in tonight’s episode. Let us discuss:

1. Harvey. He’s always been one, in fairness. Points for consistency.
2. Roo. Sniffing around a dickhead makes her a dickhead by association. Also, the stupid jealousy-game-thing.
3. Romeo. For running out on a romantic night with the wife, in order to check on Ruby. I actually think Romeo is a bit simple. Did he ever heard of an invention called the phone, I wonder?
4. Indi. For not shouting at Romeo.
5. Brax. For having a blood and sand tattoo and also for fighting while concussed. It was impressive that he still won, though.
6. Leah. For being interested in Brax. He is a fool and not even nice to her. FOR SHAME, LEAH.

At least we have John Palmer.

Bianca told Liam that Heath’s the baby-daddy; Liam stormed off. He’s on for bringing up baby, but only if no-one finds out. Wonder how long that will stay a secret…

Irene had a birthday party; she is grateful for her mates. She shared her present with Eddie; Liam’s not impressed.

Ruby got 250,000 dollahs from Charlie’s estate, but it upset her.

Indi wore a thing on the beach that only covered one boob.

Harvey and Roo are trying to make each other jealous by going on dates with other people.

Brax got a cricket bat to the head while totting up the till. The assailant’s identity is a mystery.

There are a load of dickheads coming out of the woodwork at Summer Bay High, one of whom gave Sasha a fierce kick to the ankle. There’s also a strange nervy girl who seems scared of everything, who will probably dob the bullies in eventually.

Sasha received a load of emails with “Killer” in the subject line. Once she gets the all-clear from the YCPD, she should start threatening them all and playing up to that nickname.  Apparently everyone loved Stu and now they’re very angry that he’s gone.

Gina was on the verge of making up with John when she saw Darryl “Brax” Braxton giving him money. Dammit.

Indi and Romeo managed to repair their relationship though. I hope Romeo can control himself at the surf comp. Ruby is pretty alluring with her crazy hair and clothes.

Where the eff are the rest of the Boys? There used to be a load of them knocking about on the beach and in the surf club. Now it’s just the Braxtons.

Romeo finally stood up to Indi and said he’s gonna be a surfie 4 life. She looked disgusted. He didn’t tell her Ruby is going to the next comp. Apparently she’s happiest on a board. First I heard of it.

Speaking of Mrs. Smyth, when does she go to college? She’s always in the bleedin’ diner.

Roo blew off dinner with Harvey at the last minute as Sasha the Basha needed her. Harvey found some young Sheila to show off and make Roo jealous.

Sasha’s off to stay with Morag for a while, the lucky yoke. She even remembered she had a brother and asked if he could come too. They’ll probably make him live in the toilet though.

Poor Stu’s ma all the same. Not only is her husband a thick, her son is dead. Sick for her.