Apparently John Palmer is drop dead gorgeous, according to Jill anyway.  But that whole hiding in the bedroom from Gina story is pretty boring.  No doubt there will be confusion and rows when Jill gets discovered.

Hugo nearly got his entire family killed but Rachel seems to be the only one who give a damn about it.  The rest of them aren’t too bothered at all despite the fact they were nearly drowned and shot by the guy with the shotgun and a confused accent.  Thankfully, Tony ambushed him with a rock from behind after Hugo ran him over.  Now he’s banged up in the YCPD station and is looking at some hard time plus 1000 questions from Angelo.

I don’t know how Angelo is going to fit in time for a relationship with Charlie.  He’s far too obsessed with Hugo to leave room for a girlfriend, even if she is one who likes doing her ironing in her silver underwear.

What is the story with the kidnapper’s accent? Where is he supposed to be from? Is he Irish, welsh or Australian?  His powers of persuasion were impressive, Gina got in to the car with him without batting an eyelid.  Yet again, Hugo has got his family in big trouble. He’s a walking disaster zone.

Well Hugo is back big-stylee now.  Martha took him straight back into her arms without a word about his people-smuggling.  At least Gina gave him a dressing-down for being a massive criminal.

The Austins are surprisingly adept at fobbing off the bobbies.  Love how Xavier said “It’s the cops” when Angelo and Charlie came to the door, as if he’d never met them before.   Anyway Gina cranked up her headmistress skills and YCPD were slinking out with their tails between their legs.

Gina was nice to Miles, though, even if she was delivering the bad news that he might not get his job back at the school.  Bet he doesn’t think Rabbit was so deadly now.

Apparently Aden has left.  I totally missed that; I must have been making a cup of tea or something.  The exits are very swift these days.  Nicole is totally over it though, Liam Murphy sorted her out with some bonza advice.  By the by, they now have a ping-pong table in the caravan park.  Bounce.

What a dramatic few days in Summer Bay.  Rabbit helped Miles rescue Leah, Elijah, and a rake of kids from being gassed on their school trip.  Somehow this meant that it was time for Rabbit to leave.  So she headed off with her ma down the beach.  Poor Miles was in bits over it.  There was no explanation of Rabbit’s psychic powers though.  I think we should put this in the Alf-as-aborigine box and accept we’ll never know the answer.

Nicole, being egged on by Justin, broke up with Aden as he wouldn’t say he loved her.  So he went off into the wide blue yonder with Justin.  No doubt he’ll join the army too.

Hugo’s back.  Martha decided everyone should know that he is in witness protection so she told Xavier and then went down the diner to tell everyone else.  She did it in the same room as Colleen; she must have the memory of a goldfish.  Anyway then Xavier told Ruby, and later met Hugo on a random road in the Bay.  Hugo was sporting some fine stubble and hiding under a hat.  The bad guys will never look there.

It was a day of revelations in the Bay. Firstly, we had both Aden and his brother Justin trying to take the wrap for burying the Dad’s body affair. Each one is trying to keep the other one out of it but ultimately they’ll be found out.  Sure lies never last long in the Bay.

Then we had Alf and Angelo get sprung talking about Hugo in front of Martha.  If braindead super sleuth Martha can figure out that you’re keeping secrets then you’re really in trouble.  Hugo’s cover will be blown in no time once Martha finds out the truth.  I hope his witness protection scheme is better than Vinny’s: a farm worker who moonlighted as a teddy bear at children’s parties and died from sceptic wounds, suffered in a farming accident.  You couldn’t make it up.

I don’t really understand why she’s upset about his death again now.  It’s like she forgot about him for a few months then remembered who he was all of a sudden.  Didn’t they break up before he “died” anyway?

Annie and Romeo are now officially in love.  The oul light-a-few-candles-and-set-up-a-discoball trick worked.  They’re love’s young dream.

Ruby has a new love interest herself. Mega-rocker Liam Murphy is giving her singing lessons, and he’s fairly hands-on.  Of course he doesn’t know what he’s getting himself into, but he mightn’t mind too much.  We haven’t seen an illicit love affair in ages (Leah and Elijah doesn’t count).

Martha has recently remembered that Hugo is “dead” and her family are concerned for her state of mind.  Alf told Angelo he wanted to tell all, but Serge Risotto convined him to keep schtum.  Then the crafty copper went round to Martha’s with a pizza and the world’s strongest wine – the pair of them were locked after half a bottle.  Oops.  Meanwhile, Hugo hasn’t checked in with witness protection and is living in a dungeon somewhere with only Martha’s photo for company.  No good can come of this.

Poor, poor Miles.  He doesn’t know what’s going on with Rabbit.  Is she a ghost, an angel, or just a mentalism that he dreamed up himself?  In any case, it looks like the braindoctor will put him right.  About time too, as Rabbit is upping the annoying levels very quickly.

Yahoo, Xavier is going to find out Hugo’s alive and all hell will break loose.  I can’t wait.

I wonder if the H&A cast had a good time at Punchestown?

Well, blow me!  I nearly fell off my chair.  Martha came up with and carried out a cunning plan, all on her ownio.  She went to supercop Charlie under the pretence of trying to find out if she should return the engagement ring procured with Hugo’s ill-gotten gains.  However, the canny lass was actually checking whether it was ok to keep Hugo’s secret riches, which currently belong to Xavier.

Meanwhile, across town (and a bit later), Angelo was spying on Charlie, who was visiting her counsellor.  He fell out of a tree as a consequence.  What larks!

There was a lot of quick moving in that episode.  Hugo’s “funeral” was about a week ago, so it’s about time Martha moved on.  First, she expertly roped Liam into working on the farm, then asked him to move in, then leapt on him.  The girl wastes no time.

Furthermore, Geoff made a life decision and left the Bay to be a missionary in the space of about three hours.  Ruby didn’t look too happy at all.  He didn’t even tell Xavier or anyone else in town.

Miles helped Leah get over her agoraphobia.  She did some pretty good acting so there’s not much to slag off there really.

So Hugo’s not dead after all.  It was an elaborate ruse to catch Suzy.  I hope it feckin’ works.  Also, who’s to say they didn’t do the same thing with Jack?  Hmmmmm?  Maybe we should let go of that one.

Why did Alf have to know?  This is all going to backfire.  He’ll tell Colleen at some Stewart soiree and then the cats in the street will find out.

Xavier got loads of dosh from his cowardly scumbag brother.  Maybe he’ll take up dealing again.

Miles has a new mate.  I thought she might be imaginary but maybe not.