Mr. Smith has the oul’ caaaanca, but he won’t tell his wife. Well, she’ll deduce it soon enough from his withdrawn ways, and if she doesn’t, her dear daddio will let it slip. I only hope Romeo doesn’t tell Heath, who then tells Indi, as that would be a disaster of Home and Away proportions.

What a diagnosis though! Sid seems to be giving him a little hope with the promise of new treatments, but Romeo is riddled with it.

Gina and John told Jett they wanted to adopt him. Jett, the wee dote, went mad, saying he wasn’t good enough. He gave Gina a good dig by saying her sons wouldn’t like it. I’d say Gina thought, “who?”.

Sasha was so amazing and by-the-book in her petitioning for equal-rights uniforms that Gina is going to back her cause with the PNC. Sasha was delighted with this, but had no friends to tell, since she dissed Rosie. Bad move, Sash.

Harvey has no friends and no best man.  Not surprised, he’s boring, annoying and irritable.  No doubt he’ll end up asking Alf to do the honours.

Neil had taken Indi hostage but Sid came to the rescue, clamping Neil in an arm lock.  Neil claimed innocence when the cops turned up but they carted him away.  In typical YCPD fashion, they released him ten minutes later so he’s free to harass Lisa and Indi again. Sid put Lisa into a hotel but she subsequently rang Neil to tell him that she’s ready to come home.  What’s her problem?

Dex is not well.  The stress of the hostage situation got to him and he went to bed early, only to get up in a fever and collapse in the kitchen during the night.  His brain must still be recovering from the after effects of his injury, I hope he hasn’t suffered one of these.

Romeo is a sap. He is risking his gammy knee to enter the Summer Bay Surf Carnival. I got the impression it was a small-town, local affair, not the bleedin’ OLYMPICS! In any case, he’s getting his steroids from new dad Heath. Oh, Bianca is going to love this!

Roo and Harvey are still contemplating their future. Roo is pretty annoyed, but it’s not as though she didn’t have her own dalliance. I want to pick a side, but I just don’t care enough.

Gina and John are still at odds, over nothing. Zzzzzzzz. At least Gina remembered she had sons in today’s episode.

Future cop Xavier Austin has it in for Jet. He’s convinced that the cheeky scamp is to blame for all of the recent crimes in the bay like Indi’s wallet theft and Marilyn’s mugging. Sasha tried to let him know how it feels to be accused in the wrong but Xav isn’t budging. Who needs evidence when you’ve got gut instincts? I don’t remember a cop having such a bee in his bonnet since Constable Risotto was obsessed with the elder Austin bro, Hugo.

Alf is doing it tough. He’s not impressed with all of the bayside developments since he returned. Romeo’s marriage collapsed, Roo’s going out with a criminal and Marilyn got her bag snatched while walking home. Is this the bay he knows and loves? He gave Roo a serve over the phone for deserting her friends and family, but his call was interrupted by his health, Alf collapsed on the floor. I hope it’s not his dicky ticker again.

April has finally come to her senses, shaken off the River Boy, and realised Dex is the man for her. She elbowed her way into Dex and Lottie’s rock hunt, pretended to sprain her ankle, and told Nurse Walker she loves him. I hope she means it this time, the changeable wench!

The scriptwriters are having a great laugh with Harvey. This week alone they’ve invented a rigged election and a dead son, none of which he told Roo about, until he had to. Actually ,Sid told her about the dead son. Just call him Sid Smart. No-one in that town can keep their mouth shut.

So, what will Harvey’s next invented past storyline be? Maybe he pole-danced with Martha, or people-smuggled with Hugo? Perhaps he and Rhys were workout buddies, or he went to art class with Hayley. The possibilities are endless.

Lastly, does this mean Alf will be appointed to council? That would change the Bay forever (again)!

What is Denis up to? Romeo saw him putting a body sized object into the boot of his car down on the resort building site. Romeo reckoned that John and Denis were trying to get Harvey out of the picture for good, then he saw Denis loading his car boot in the dead of night, what’s a boy to think? Sometimes 2+2 does not 5. I suspect Romeo’s suspicions will cost him his job and get him in trouble with his wife. Speaking of Indi, how does she have time for college, she has a job in the diner and another one working for Denis. Busy woman.

Xavier got accepted into the cops which was great for him if slightly surprising given the history of incompetent police activity (cousin Jack) and people smuggling (brother Hugo) in his family. He’s going to fit right in with the YCPD. He did a bit of preemptive social brown nosing by going for a drink with Constable Watson. She must be top dog since Charlie’s retirement/assassination. Given how fast things move, Xavier could be chief of police inside six months.

Given the way Marilyn was smothering Nicole she must have felt like saying “I’m on maternity, get me out of here!” She had enough of Marilyn’s schedule and girl’s day in, it was all getting too much. So when Angelo called over to see how she was doing, she took the opportunity to bail. Out of there like she stole something.

The two mates went down to the pier to see Romeo cleaning Alf’s boat. They begged the young layabout to let them on board and take the Blaxland out for a cruise. He relented, theft of property is no big deal when you have an ex YCPD Sergeant on board.

Angelo suggested Romeo start taking the boat out for charter cruises, like Hugo used to do. Maybe Romeo will get into people smuggling too. It would probably be more profitable that his surf school which isn’t going too well so far. He didn’t seem too impressed when the redhead boy turned up for his first lesson. IS he trying to say redheads can’t surf?

I watched an episode of South Park last night, in which Cartman and a few pals went off to Somalia to be pirates.  Sounds like Veej was watching it too.  He and Lily are planning on running off to Africa.  I’d love to know their travel plans.  Do Aussie airlines let pre-teens fly on their own?  Wait till you see how flustered Leah will be when Veej goes missing.  She can’t even handle a busy diner.  Will will probably tear Irene’s house down, brick by brick.

Joanna, ma of Bianca and April, warned Liam Murphy off her elder daughter.  Surely that’s just a challenge to the Summer Bay Rockstar?  And another thing, what happened to Liam’s house?

Gina told Xave and John about the plan to send the money to Hugo and Dumbo.  JP knows a lot about money laundering for a daycent Aussie businessman.  By the by, how come Xavier didn’t spend any of the money?  Not even to buy parts for his fixie car?

Did Roo just come back to try and get the money from Xavier? All of her chats with Alf and appologies may have just been a cover to her real reason for being in the Bay.  Hugo wants his ill gotten gains back to build a new life for Martha and him, one built on blood money.  They are a stupid pair and deserve each other.

Here’s Roo pulling another scam 20 years ago. Her hair was different then.

from sydney.jollypeople.com

Robert Robertson is back in force after his Christmas break. He’s interviewed a few of the locals and found out that Alf told Penn he’d “flamin’ kill” him, on the very night he was “murdered”.

I bet Penn’s hiding out somewhere. Probably with Hugo and Martha, in the secret Aussie hiding place.

Dr. Sid called around to deliver Nicole’s HIV results. She’s clear. That’s probably because she didn’t hang out with HIV Henk much.

Will and Irene had a good oul’ heart to heart.  He cheated on Gypsy and she ran away.  That’s why the young one is afraid Daddy Will Smith will run off too.  She doesn’t want to go to school either, probably because she’s the only child in Summer Bay.