And apparently, Heath and Xavier are mates.

It was Gina’s funeral and there was a great turn-out. Marilyn wore a fascinator, Maddie got the violin involved, there were Austin roses, and two brothers missing. Officer Xavier Austin stepped up to the plate and eulogised.

Casey didn’t bother his hoop going, as Indi would be too cross. Indi didn’t go either, bit sly considering all the help John gave her in setting up the gym. She is angry that she isn’t getting a chance to say goodbye to Romeo.

Jett is getting free dinners at Angelo’s for the foreseeable future. Good man Brax. Sid also cheered the Palmers up a bit by reminding them that Gina saved them, even as she was dying. Small comfort all the same.

The cops are after Ricky. Uh-oh.

Is Chris the Iago of the Bay? He’s managed to set Maddy and Spencer against each other, convincing each that the other person is mad with them. The gullible pair fell for his lies unsurprisingly. Roo said enough is enough and it was time to interfere; they set them up on a picnic so they could sort things out. They chatted and realised that Chris set them up, the fools. All sorted now anyway, well done Roo and Harvey. They told Chris to shove it until he sobbed about having too much expectations from the oldies, so Spencer told him to stick around, which he’s going to do. Can’t say I’m too happy about that, he’s a pretty annoying character.

Sasha is being a good mate to Rosie but it’s a tough burden for her young shoulders. She needs to see a counsellor but is unwilling to do so. April suggested that she talk to Bianca given that she was “attacked” before. Rosie’s solution was to get pizza and have a girls night, which isn’t quite the same thing but a start I suppose.

Heath is coming up with a new plan to get custody of Darcy. He needs to get a DNA test to show that he is the father but they need Connie to agree to it, which will be tough going. Heath is now great mates with Zac after they punched and made up on Friday. He’s the brains of the operation as he managed to convince Heath not to put in false allegations against Connie. Heath got a new tattoo that says “Darcy nipple Rocco”, but he’s going to leave his daughter be with Connie for now, she can come to look for him when she’s ready.

After bursting into Bianca’s class with this great idea, Heath got Darcy’s Granny around to show off how mature he has become. She couldn’t believe he’s going to counselling. When she was leaving, I thought to myself “River Granny’s a bit shook there”.

Next thing Heath knew, Granny Connie had whisked Darcy away, “inter-state”. Uh-oh.

Tamara stuck her nose into the Rosie storyline, and wanted to give Mullens a bollocking. Kyle stopped her, then approached Mullens himself, with a very, very, River Boy, “Oi”. Kyle is as strange as Casey when he’s trying to be threatening, except he’s all lower teeth instead of eyes.

Speaking of eyes, Casey’s are going to full-on burst out of his head when he finds out that Kyle kissed Tamara. And that, despite her initial panic, she liked being the jam in a River Boy sandwich.

Something’s gone awry with Jett’s adoption. Of course it has, that crowd were far too happy.

Sid had his collar way up, a la Ross O’Carroll-Kelly.

Ricky and Brax were in the diner when when Natalie and Zac arrived in and it was all a bit awkward. Brax and Nat are definitely getting back together at some stage but he’s having fun with Ricky at the moment. They slept together again but she’s keeping it very casual for now.

Heath is making progress in his counselling and apologised to Connie which means he can see Darcy again. Bianca met Ricky and thought she and Brax were perfect for each other, don’t know how she made her mind up on that after a 30 second conversation. Bianca then decided to bake a cake as Darcy and Heath were coming over but it was a disaster. Is she ever going to move out of Irene’s house? Connie changed her mind about letting Heath see Darcy but he managed to keep his temper, he not the Hulk anymore.

Mullins is back at school and confronted Rosie and Sasha. Gina intervened and separated them but told Sasha to keep her distance from Mullins and not lose her temper. The cops showed up at school to talk to Rosie, Mullins is a free man as the cops didn’t believe Rosie’s story. He confronted the girls in the corridor again and Sasha bashed him in the mouth, so she’s suspended now.

Romeo, in an unbelievably selfish move, left the Bay with Liam Murphy. He said goodbye to Indi in a letter, but neglected to mention that he had cancer. So, she was totally bamboozled. Sid was caught in the middle, and eventually told his daughter the truth. Good acting, poor Indi.

Ricky and Cheryl were stirring things up ’round the Braxtons, mentioning Adam to Bianca, and slagging off Kyle.

Brax gave Kyle a great lecture, about not letting Casey down. He’s a good man for a telling-off. So, Kyle apologised to Casey.

Heath, in an extremely unusual move, gave his ma a lecture over being a wagon to Bianca. It was Braxton Bollocking day.

We reckon Ricky is on a revenge mission to the Bay.

Romeo should’ve been a holiday planner, instead of a gym bunny. He took Indi off for the weekend to some beautiful tent by the sea, where they gazed into each other’s eyes and re-affirmed their love. It was the perfect place to tell her that he’s sick, wasn’t it?

NO! Mr. Smith is still dragging his heels on the old sharing-your-life-with-your-wife front. But it’s imminent. He has to tell her soon.

Liam Murphy is leaving the Bay in tomorrow’s episode, a suitably low-key farewell for a character that’s run out of steam. He’s tried every job in the Bay, and there’s nothing left for him to do.

Kyle and Heath are planning an engagement party for Beeyonka. No-one can go, and it’s going to be a disaster.

No-one, that is, except Nosey Natalie and her Braxton fixation. Her fella practically begged her to go along and support Bianca. He said he’d stay at home, LIKE A SAP.

Spencer’s brother has arrived, looking very shifty. He told Spence that Mammy Spence really misses him. It sounds like Daddy Spence is a total dickhead. I hope  they all move to the Bay.

Maddie was still wearing the VMD (very mad dress). Is she trying to out-Roo Roo?

Roo and Alf decided to take a hard line with Maddy. They told her she needs to shape up or ship out, start respecting their authority. She finally copped onto herself and apologised to Spencer for her terrible behaviour, but is unwilling to apologise to the oldies, she lives by her own rules. He told her that he wouldn’t hit the road with her again so she sucked it up and said sorry. They all smiled and laughed, what a happy household?

The gym is going great guns. Romeo reckons Heath can take care of it while he goes away with Indi for a few days. He went around thanking those who’ve helped him over the years, like Sid, Roo and Alf. I think he’ll finally tell his wife about his condition. He surprised her at Uni and whisked her off for a Romantic Romeo weekend break. Little does she know, it’ll be the worst weekend of her life.

Romeo is hastening his own death by quitting chemo. His reason for this suicidal course of action is because he’s trying to hide his condition from his wife and this will be harder to do if he’s suffering the effects of life-saving treatment. He’s worried what effect telling her the truth will have on her, making him losing his own life a small price to pay. He has a history of stupid moves, failing his HSE on purpose, but this takes the biscuit, or tim tam.

Dex is back working as a nurse in the hospital but isn’t allowed to deal with the patients so he’s stuck to mopping floors and the like. He doesn’t seem too enamoured with it all. April thinks their break-up is going very well and reckons it’s only a matter of time before they are re-united. She seemed so sure about it that it made me think fate, or the universe, has other ideas.

Heath went to see a counsellor, twice. He only walked out once, which wasn’t bad given his short fuse. Bianca managed him pretty well in this episode, she seems to spend most of her time dealing with the last Heath explosion, it’s like the grenade on his neck has a three minute fuse that keeps getting reset every time it goes off.

The cops showed up after Heath kept Darcy out of school, so Bianca suggested he go to therapy, in order to show Connie he’s a new man and well capable of taking care of his daughter. In the words of Gob Bluth, this is priceless. Imagine Heath in therapy!

Therapist: Mr. Braxton, you are a very angry man.

Heath: I don’t give a stuff.

Therapist: Where do you think this anger is coming from?

Heath: Work it out for yourself, genius.

In other news, I can’t figure Dex and April out at all. They’re together, they’re not together, they’re friends, they’re not friends, it’s ok to study together, it’s not ok to study together ahhhhhh.

April invited some very cool dude to study with her. He thought it was a date. Cringe. Then Dex showed up. Double cringe. It transpired that they are buds from chess club. Triple cringe – for them hahahaahah.

It’s all ok again in the caravan park, after the Next Level Debacle. I reckon Alf will start stoning flamin’ crows if Roo doesn’t stop being so dramatic.

Kyle is feeling a bit sorry for himself. Tamara told him to cop himself on and then went to visit Casey in the hospital. She’s happy that he’s agreed to cut a deal with the Prisonies, so he’s back in the free world. Brax won’t be happy as he spent the whole episode slagging Zack when his advice worked out and got his bro out of jail, while Brax’s advice got him stabbed.

Romeo had a mole removed but doesn’t want Indi to find out. He asked Sid not to talk about it, which Sid agreed to until the test results came back. Unfortunately, the results were bad, it’s melanoma. He’ll have to tell her indoors now.

Heath is a knob. He offered to help out in the gym until Casey returns to work but got the hump when Romeo refused his help. He reckons the gym can do without a drug dealer. Heath lost it and went off for a sulk and a surf. Can you imagine him working behind the counter dealing with the customers?

Gym customer: Excuse me, this treadmill is broken.

Heath: I don’t give a stuff, fix it yourself genius.