Strewth mate, who were those hoons who wrecked the diner? And Hasim? Alf didn’t seem to recognise them.

Alf’s like Summer Bay’s John McClane*, putting out fires and setting things right. He’s really disappointed in his town. I thought he might burn the Aussie flag on the barbie.

Where were Supercops Charlie and Angelo when this was all going on? How come Ruby didn’t ring them instead of Aussie 999? She has the direct line, after all. Anyway the ambos showed up a few hours into the siege.

Also, why did Leah, Colleen, Irene and Ruby just sit in the kitchen while the two gents played Fireman Sam?

Miles’s imaginary friend Rabbit is psychic. That means Miles is psychic. I love a good mad storyline in Home and Away. This is like Sixth Sense or Fight Club. I hope there’s a montage later where it shows Miles talking to no-one. All we need now is Aboriginal Alf to show up and we’re laughing.

*That’s him below

Is this the end of the world as we know it? The Bay turned from a peaceful seaside village into a hotbed of race hatred and mob rule in the space of one scene. Not bad going. Is this what Australia day is all about? The true Aussie spirit? I doubt poor Hasim thinks so after the bashing he received.