Marilyn loves emoji

Wednesday, June 19th, 2013

Marilyn loves emoji. Of course she does. I bet she signs off every text xxxx M heart heart heart smiley face.

Jett had his very swish first date with Nina. They did some ridiculous things like texting each other instead of talking, and letting their pizza go cold. Overall, though, it was a success.

John invited Marilyn along to keep him company. I hope Gina’s not spinning in her grave.

Heath realised that he jumped the gun in asking Bianca to have another baby. She had an extreme reaction, saying she doesn’t want another baby, ever. In normal life, this would be a fairly dramatic decision. However, this is Home and Away, so EVER probably means…until winter.

Maddie is being a boring sap and mooning over Spencer, who she dumped, by the way. She put on a Roo-dress-in-training and is determined to win him back. I don’t care though.

I wonder how Irene is getting on in Greece. Has she changed her expression to Gawd Save Greece? Has she met her own Tom Conti?*


*Hat tip to PeterKevin there!

The exorcism

Tuesday, June 18th, 2013

April has a problem. Being in Dex’s gaff reminds her of the fact that he was with Steph. Their combined wisdom came up with the solution of conducting an exorcism i.e. throwing out his mattress and bed linen. Smart move lads, now they have to go back and sleep in Irene’s.

Heath is trying to make friends with April and Dex. Heath suggested knocking back a few cold ones but lunchtime was too early for Dex. I can see the two of them becoming firm mates.

Zac is in the doghouse for not agreeing with Natalie. She reckons that he is not qualified to deal with the kids and he says she’s jealous of his connection with them so she made him sleep in his car. Bianca told them to zip it and sort it out. A beach pow wow later and they’re giving it another go.

Jett has a girlfriend. John is thrilled for him but sad that he can’t share it with Gina. Jett’s girlfriend wants to be taken on a proper date, which is a bit much at 14. I would have thought hanging out on the beach or the diner would have been enough for them.

Spaddie’s second coming

Tuesday, June 11th, 2013

Spencer is struggling to cope being ditched, he’s moping around the caravan park messing with motor bikes. Maddie called over to see how he was but he gave her a serve, sending her back home in tears. Harvey had a chat with Spencer, to try and see if he could convince him to lighten up a bit and not be so down over their breakup; I’m still not sure why they broke up.

Maddie considered getting back together with Spencer to ease his anger but Roo advised against this. She ignored her advice and they’re back together now, a reinvigorated young couple: Spaddie.

John is doing it tough, Jett’s done a legger and he can’t find him. Marilyn had been helping John, she’s a good woman to have in a crisis, very positive. Alf was out as search party but no joy. It turns out the kid was hiding out in Gina’s old office after breaking into it. John stayed with him while he slept on the floor, comfy. John slept beside him and neither of them looked the best for it in the morning.

Heath is on the warpath now as he thinks Brax paid Connie off to keep him away from Darcy. There’s going to be hell to pay in the Braxton abode.

It’s making love, not a sport

Wednesday, May 29th, 2013

Holy moly, Maddie and Spencer having their knickers (and jocks) in a right twist over this sex business. That’s right, I said sex. Because Heath said it. You’re allowed to say it on H&A now, apparently.

Maddie wants to break it off now, because once she started thinking about what went wrong, she found loads of things. So she’s back on the market and so is Spencer. He should probably go for Bianca or someone nearer his own age.

Dex told Sid what he got up to with Naughty Nurse in the hospital. Sid was aghast. And a bit jealous, I bet.

Heath and Bianca went to Sydney (not the city) to avoid making any decisions about the wedding or Gina’s job. The hotel was nice. They decided to get married immediately.

It’s his first wedding

Tuesday, May 28th, 2013

So said Bianca when describing how special she’d like her wedding day to be, for Heath’s sake. Sure it’s only his first wedding, as opposed to Bianca’s third one in Summer Bay. You’d think she could organise a wedding in her sleep at this stage.

Ms. Scott has been offered Gina’s job, on an acting basis. She is mega stressed about this but of course will take it. Heath is whisking her away (into the bush, probably) to think about it.

It was Spencer’s birthday, so they had a special dinner where, instead of eating the cake, they wore it on their faces. Such a terrible cakewaste.

Maddie and Spencer got the fairy lights out and were going to gallop into the next level, but they decided at the last minute that they weren’t ready. AGAIN. This storyline sure has legs.

Dex told Nurse Sexy in no uncertain terms that he was going to snitch on her. She attempted to blackmail him by threatening to release details of their trysts which took place ALL OVER THE HOSPITAL. Hygienic. I’m not really sure what happened next, but I think she got fired.


Undercover ninja

Monday, May 27th, 2013

Zac is going to teach self-defence classes at the school as he has fighting skills (judo?), Rosie and Sasha are going to sign up. As well as that, he’s also going to be teaching at the school, English and society classes, nice parting gift from Gina. Himself and Nat need a new housemate in Leah’s gaff now Liam is gone but Zac vetoed Kyle when he applied, no dogs, no Braxtons. Nat was unimpressed and told him that their Braxton ban has run out, Kyle is moving in straight away.

Dex is having a tough time keeping ahead of the advances of his girlfriend Steph, the naughty nurse. As it happens, she could do with spending more time on her job and less trying to get it on with Nurse Walker. Dex noticed that she’s not attending to her duties correctly. Dex tried to cover for her negligence, but they had a diner pow wow and he dressed her down over it.This could be problematic for their relationship.

Brax isn’t enjoying having Ricky hold out info on him. She told him that she’s trying to clean up Adam’s messes and debts, she’s under a lot of stress. Brax is going to help her out with an “oi” and a lean over some furniture. He’s eager to take on other people’s problems.

Me heart is broke

Friday, May 24th, 2013

And apparently, Heath and Xavier are mates.

It was Gina’s funeral and there was a great turn-out. Marilyn wore a fascinator, Maddie got the violin involved, there were Austin roses, and two brothers missing. Officer Xavier Austin stepped up to the plate and eulogised.

Casey didn’t bother his hoop going, as Indi would be too cross. Indi didn’t go either, bit sly considering all the help John gave her in setting up the gym. She is angry that she isn’t getting a chance to say goodbye to Romeo.

Jett is getting free dinners at Angelo’s for the foreseeable future. Good man Brax. Sid also cheered the Palmers up a bit by reminding them that Gina saved them, even as she was dying. Small comfort all the same.

The cops are after Ricky. Uh-oh.

I’ll call the DOCS Sheila

Thursday, May 23rd, 2013

Everyone is rallying around John and Jett. Roo and Marilyn are organising the funeral, Brax is hosting the wake, Alf’s calling the DOCS Sheila, and Officer Xavier Austin rolled into town. Bandicoot won’t be at the funeral as he’s too upset.

Indi was pretty upset when she heard the news and then had to face Xavier. Casey consoled her. It looks like they will end up together, which is RIDICULOUS. I bet that as soon as they become a couple, Romeo will show up. At least it’ll leave the way clear for Tamara and Kyle to leave the Bay and never return, thank you.

Ricky is being very very very suss. She is demanding Brax’s attention, and then scarpering when she gets mysterious texts. Darryl is wise to it and won’t put up with it for too long. BLOOD AND SAND.

Passing of a principal

Wednesday, May 22nd, 2013

Gina’s dead? It’s her own fault for saying how great things were going yesterday. What are John and Jett going to do now? Will he still adopt the kid? Marilyn is being a great help, she’s a trooper in times like this.

Will any of her sons turn up for the funeral? They said Xavier is on his way but no mention of Bandicoot and Hugo’s on the run. It would be class if Hugo and Martha came back for the funeral, I miss Martha and her simpleton ways.

As for cause of death she suffered an aneurysm and that was it. At first I thought it might have been the brain explosion that Hugo was talking about all those years ago.

Casey will be a relieved man now I’d imagine, he won’t have to worry about avoiding Gina anymore, she was always trying to get him to come back to school for his HSC.

Spencer and Maddy are having Chris sized problems. He keeps poking his nose in whenever they get some alone time. That chap can’t take a hint at all. They were about to get into the bone zone but he is interrupting their attempts, will they ever get to the next level?

Big meanies

Tuesday, May 21st, 2013

Ooh, the writers of Home and Away are toying with our emotions, and no mistake. The Family Palmer were as happy as possible, and Jett was being as cute as possible, so of course something had to go wrong. Gina had some class of aneurysm. You know things are bad when you start seeing yourself as an apparition.

At least she remembered one of her other sons before disaster struck. I was half-expecting her to answer the phone with a “Xavier who?”. Poor Bandicoot and Hugo don’t get a look in.

Marilyn foresaw it all, of course. She’ll be feeling mega-guilty for days now.

Dex felt bad for taking it to the next level in the hospital. He’s obviously never seen Grey’s Anatomy. April, spurred on by the positive-thinking-vibes of her recent girls’ night, confronted him and wished him luck in the future. He just looked confused.


bring back miles
Original image from This is Oz

all the dead

%d bloggers like this: