Who was the mystery weirdo watching Charlie and Brax having a pash? Wouldn’t it be deadly if it was Alf, and this was a hobby of his?

Anyway would Charlie and Brax ever eff off? She’s a cop and bad at her job. He’s a prior dealie (betcha that’s a word) with ties to his past. I get it, it’s a conflict. Zzzzzzzz

Miles found out about Elijah fancying Leah. He was heartbroken, poor thing. Leah doesn’t know, and has no interest in the Rev. Good woman Leah, he’s turned into a SAP. Miles is going to visit Sally in Thailand, hopefully he meets Cassie and Baby Henk too.

Romeo got yet another job, and immediately asked for an advance. My faith in his business acumen is dwindling by the day.

Sid and Roo are an item again. Turns out she loves paeLLa.

Leah and Miles are no more. Both of them are pretty sad about it. Elijah is ALREADY sniffing around Leah, so Marilyn warned him off.

Marilyn also advised Dexter to apologise to April. He did so while wearing the worst suit of all time. Not only that, but April told him to get bent. She’s still annoyed with him, so she’s devised a plan to seduce some randomer at the formal. She confided in Ruby, who, unsurprisingly, thought it was a great idea.

Bianca is trying to keep Liam away from Brax, as the Rock Star still doesn’t know the truth about the accident. She won’t have to worry for too much longer, as Charlie and Brax are conspiring to leave town. Brax can’t stay around and resist The Boys.

Those Braxton boys are fierce hard to resist. Charlie was making pained faces as she tried to wean herself off Brax, again.  She’s staying strong, for now, but I don’t see it lasting.  Bianca nearly gave into temptation with Heath but stopped short of taking it to the next level with him. Ruby makes it a hat trick of babes besotted by Braxton with her continuing Casey conundrum.  She wants him, he pretends he doesn’t want her.  Ruby should give up on Casey and concentrate on other things.  I reckon she could rent her hair out to the department of the environment as a wildlife sanctuary.

Leah is still struggling to come to terms with losing the baby. Miles is caught in the crossfire. I can’t see this lasting too much longer.  She’ll ditch him and Elijah will mop up afterwards.

Gina and the “save the school” crew are on the Dept. of Education. It turns out that they covered up the fact that the school wasn’t properly repaired after an earthquake in 2006. Inspector Xavier was the one who found the details in the school’s files.  Now the school is going to rebuilt after all. Final score: citizens of the bay 1, department 0.

Poor Leah is in a bad way.  It looks like she might have lost the baby. Veej called Miles, who was preoccupied with the school situation.  When Miles didn’t answer he called Elijah who rushed over.  He was there to comfort Leah, which is all well and good but wouldn’t he have been better calling Sid or the Ambos? No doubt Leah will now break up with Miles and get back with Elijah, who’s still holding a massive torch for her.

Miles was on the horns of a dilemma. He wanted to tell Leah not to have an abortion, but he didn’t want to tell her what to do. They thrashed it out anyway and Leah decided to go ahead with the pregnancy. In the meantime, Miles went to Elijah for advice, but the Rev found it too close for comfort.

Brax got stabbed so did some injecting on himself, with Tegan as nursemaid. Good product placement for Dettol. Charlie found Jake in the boot of his car; he gave her a fair amount of cheek down the cop shop. Then intrepid Sergeant Buckton found Brax bleeding all over Angelo’s; she took him to the hospital for Dr. Sid to patch up. Tegan arrived and insinuated her daughter is also Brax’s. Cue pained face from Charlie.

So Leah is knocked up. This is bad news for her for a number of reasons:

• She will now be super-duper flustered for at least nine months / however long a pregnancy lasts in Summer Bay
• The child will probably be as hungry as its father, which means she’ll be bankrupt before the bub is one
• Veej will no doubt have a mickey fit

Romeo’s boat got trashed, so he went off half-cocked, accusing Harvey,a fellow entrepreneur from a neighbouring berth, of doing it in an attempt to sabotage his business. He even phoned the cops. However, it turned out one of the boys at Elijah’s shelter did the nicking. Cue shame-faced Romeo trying to make it up with Harvey. Too late, Smith, for Harvey already reported the Blaxland for not having a mooring licence. But surely Alf can use his influence with the council to get one? No?

Sid and Roo and Indi and Dexter are all best buds now, after doing a bit of farm maintenance. Except this happy family to be rocked by the arrival of Sid’s ex, who Dex invited over.

First things first, Roo outdid herself in that episode, costume-wise. She was wearing some kind of normal vest top with a floaty top over it, for extra madness.  Behold (by clicking on the following):

See? Madness. Poor old Indi didn’t fare too much better.

Anyway Roo discovered the reason for Indi’s bad, bad attitude towards her. She is having trouble with her transition from schoolgirl to wife. Fair enough; it did happen in 2.4 seconds. Luckily, she is happy enough to stay married to Romeo. I think I might have exploded if they got divorced two weeks after their wedding.

Marilyn was messing with the cards again. She saw something linking her to Elijah. Prior to this, she was thinking of leaving the Bay (first I heard of it), but now she is sticking around – because she’s meant to be close to Elijah. Bananas! I love it!

Well, ol’ Lady Brax is one tough cookie. She is also the opposite of every other ma. Not for her an educated son, no she’d rather have a fella who can fillet a fish. So when Casey decided to go back to school, she saw red and chucked him out. He’s staying over at Law Central aka Charlie’s house. She won’t like that.

Head Brax and Charlie had a strange moment when she called around to check out the domestic disturbance. It was probably supposed to be meaningful and romantic; after all, he was talking about their future children, albeit in a roundabout way. But Charlie just managed to look completely disgusted.

Colleen was hilarious yet again, scripting an article for the Coastal News about how Elijah is an angel from heaven, and should be reinstated at the Church. Luckily for him, he donned his collar again before she had a chance to publish it.

Charlie came to the rescue at the beach, calling an ambulance when Ruby couldn’t. Xavier went back to the hospital and is grand. As someone pointed out the last time he was in, young males in Summer Bay General are not allowed to wear tops. Anyway, Gina and John had to pass up a trip to Hawaii to keep an eye on the surfing champ.

Dex and Kate called it a day, and April copped on that Dex lurves her. Cue loadsa coy, meaningful glances.

Colleen is amazing. She reckons The Man Upstairs has it in for her, after the small electrocution, due to her gossiping ways. Elijah called over and she went mental. Brilliant. I especially like Morag as nursemaid.

1. Poor Marilyn trying to migrate with George
2. Nicole’s floating about moaning about Georges’s absence
3. Elijah and Laura’s flirting