So, when were you going to tell me you were leaving?

Thursday, May 3rd, 2012

In grand oul Summer Bay tradition, Elijah tells Leah he’s leaving, on his leaving day. Like so many before him, (Geoff, Annie, and so on) the Rev is only dying to get out of town. He’s going to Another Parish. He had a hooley on the beach before he left, and cleared up any stray plotlines while he was at it. See ya later, Rev.

Leah told Brax a barefaced lie when she said she wasn’t interested in him. The truth will come out in the wash.

Liam went MENTILE at Eddie and smashed his guitar. All because Eddie nicked Liam’s lyrics. Fair enough, I thought. The bauld Eddie is denying all culpability, however. What’s that about? What is he playing at? Is he someone’s long-lost relative or something?

April caught Casey and Henri having a secret after-hours pash in Angelo’s. Knowing her capacity for keeping secrets, the whole Bay will know before long.

Sasha the Bashed Basha is going on trial “tomorrow”. This will be good. I hope Morag features heavily.


The Rockstar and the Rebel

Wednesday, May 2nd, 2012

Brax spent most of the episode putting out fires. First he had the issue of fighting among his staff. Liam and Heath engaged in fisticuffs twice in the space of a few minutes. Heath keeps goading Liam about Bianca and the baby and Liam keeps rising to the bait. Brax had a chat with his misguided bro and tried to get him to cop on but I doubt it will do much good. I can’t see how the two of them can continue to work in the same restaurant which will be a problem for Liam, there aren’t many other employers in the Bay for a man his age. Police/Healthcare worker are about all that’s left considering that he’s already been fired from a school teacher’s job.

Brax’s next problem was dealing with Leah. Once Elijah told him that Leah was in love with him, Brax went cold on them spending time together. He let her know about it too, telling her that there couldn’t be any more calling around or cooking dinner. Leah is going to freak out when she finds out it was Elijah who spilled the beans.

VJ was the final problem for Brax. At first, he decided that an embargo was the best solution which meant an end to fixing the bike. Veej didn’t take the news very well and went on the rampage, knocking over bins and skulling cans with the boys on the beach. Brax relented and said they could rekindle their bike building but it’ll be difficult until the Leah matter is resolved. Meanwhile poor VJ is stuck in the middle. I hope he doesn’t get anymore bad news, he’s likely to take over the river boys and go on a crime spree Johnny Cooper would be proud of.

Cara de mo chroi?

Tuesday, May 1st, 2012

I think that Brax got an Irish tattoo. He was driven to it when Veeeej asked “you loved Charlie, didn’t you?”. Perhaps the bauld River Boy was afraid he was forgetting his lady love, and got the tattoo to remind him.

Elijah, like a dickhead, called around to Brax’s, to tell him Leah is in love with him. Sly one, Rev.

In other couple-y news, Gina is taking the opportunity to lay down some ground rules with John, and Roo is trying to be more romantic with Harvey. Yay and puke, respectively.

Do you think we should call Harvey and Roo, Hoo, or Rarvey?

Back on track

Wednesday, March 14th, 2012

Ruby got a bit of a wake up call with her sweaty coma. She accepted Roo’s proposal to move out of the van and into the house, lowering its average age by about half. I’m hoping she gets her head sorted now.

April got pissed off when Heath cancelled a date on her. She was all dressed up in a fancy new black dress but didn’t have anywhere to go with it. Heath was off at Brax’s bashing contest even though he told April he had to work. Dex was there with Sid and made up with April, they’re all friends now.

Brax’s fight wasn’t quite Rocky IV. There was lots of talking between the belligerents, lots of crap punches and slaps. Regardless, the crowd were loving it. Brax had Heath and Elijah in his corner and Henri in the audience. The rev told Brax to tap out as he was fighting somebody from a heavier weight division, but Brax didn’t care, the man’s got a death wish. Then Leah turned up to tell Brax to quit it, and he subsequently got battered. I can see the headline in tomorrow’s coastal news – “Bruised beach bum Brax brutally bashed by bigger boy”.


Wake up call

Thursday, March 8th, 2012

The wedding afters were mighty crack.  There was dancing aplenty and great decorations in Angelo’s.  That venue can be turned to any occasion.

Leah was dying to get stuck into some work and stress in Angelo’s. Maybe Brax needed help moving the salad bowl around the kitchen. She has a thing for Brax by the looks of it. eanwhile, Elijah professed his love for Leah but was rejected like a massive reject.

Brax came up with a great money making scheme to pay Leah back, start doing some cage fighting against the mighty Sully. Heath came up with a master plan, get Sensai Elijah in as trainer. Brax is like one of the TMNT and Elijah is Splinter. This is like when Ric got roped into doing the underground boxing.

April ditched out of her sister’s wedding to go and see Heath. Bianca wasn’t impressed but let her off. Much to April’s chagrin, Heath wasn’t alone in the gaff, Henri was there with a six pack.  Cue April getting all possessive and clingy. What is she at? Surely it’s clear that’s not how Heath rolls, he won’t be tied down to one woman.

Cops 1, Doctors 0

Friday, February 24th, 2012

The future of the Bay is in good hands; Officer Xavier will keep its streets clean. Xave is so hot-headed that criminals will cower in fear. He went mental when he heard Stu had yet again taken up his mantle as Sasha Basha.

The health of the Bay is in question, though; soon the Walker family could be doctorless. Sid is up on charges, and Dex wants to be an engineer.

I was happy to see Romeo in a suit. He’s no natural salesman, though, trying to close the deal by using his surfie skills.

Elijah’s been kicked out of Leah’s Home for Ragamuffins now that Ruby is back. She didn’t visit a hairdresser in The City.

Back in the Game

Wednesday, February 22nd, 2012

Brax is back and taking no nonsense. A smart remark from Heath about Charlie earned him a swift headbutt and a talking-to. Heath also managed to fall foul of Geoffrey, the local mobster, so now it’s down to Brax to clean up that mess too. He should round up The Boyz and start a topless manoeuvre.

Saint Irene arose from her sickbed to sort out the squabbling Scott sisters. It didn’t work though, April had a through-the-window visit from Heath before he disappeared down the coast.

In a mad storyline, Elijah is moving into Leah’s for a week as she’s not comfortable living in a House of Death. How long until he pulls his holy moves on the flustered chef?


Thursday, February 16th, 2012

Justice Bellingham got in contact to tell us that Elijah is 48 in real life! Looking well Rev.

He’s also accusing the show of being racist – here be spoilers.

Here are a few recent poll results:

It seems that Charlie won’t be missed for her policing skills:

Pick the worst cop:

  • Charlie (65%, 22 Votes)
  • Jack (35%, 12 Votes)

Total Voters: 34

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The schoolies and toolies are tied:

Which do you prefer: schoolies or toolies?

  • Schoolies (53%, 31 Votes)
  • Toolies (47%, 27 Votes)

Total Voters: 59

Loading ... Loading ...

Charlie’s a goner

Tuesday, February 14th, 2012

So, Charlie is dead. Or more correctly, she’s braindead. It never stopped her doing her job before, but Dr. Sid is keen for Ruby to pull the plug. Maybe he’s anxious to have the room free for the next time Xavier gets injured.

Brax and Jake had a fight/chase, which ended in Jake being taken away by the cops. He’s not too clever, old Jake; he’s going straight back into the slammer. Maybe he likes it.

Ruby is coming around to the idea of turning off Charlie’s machines. Brax is not so happy with it. I foresee a massive outburst of rage.

There is one thing that the good Doctor Walker hasn’t tried, though. Why not get all the River Boys around to the hospital and have them take off their tops? If anything could revive a braindead woman, that’d be it.

There’s a new cop. He seems useless. He gave Sid a good talking-to when he was leaving the cells.

Stu’s dad showed up in the hospital. Turns out he is fairly scobey. Not surprising really.

Elijah is doing a LOT of hanging around the Patterson-Bakers. What about his job?


Miles away

Thursday, February 9th, 2012

April has been shopping in Luscious lingerie and she also bought some rubber johnnies. Bianca is a bit freaked by the fact that her little sister might be taking things to the next level but Irene told her to take a chill pill. Bianca tried to convince April that her first time should be with someone she loves, while April just wants to get it over with anyone and Xavier will do. Bianca and Liam are heading to the city, but she managed to convince April to hold off on the deflowering for now.

Dex and Dallas are building a nice relationship, especially now that Dex found out herself and her son live in a car. Dex is a sucker for a girl in need, given that he has a heart of gold. He even organised a van for her in the caravan park, fair play. He’ll need her as an object for his affections once he finds out that April is about to take her love to town.

Miles and Elijah had another showdown. Miles is well pissed off with the Rev, but still shook his hand as they said their goodbyes. I’ll miss Miles, he’s been a good addition to the bay, Roo and Alf are going to take over the caravan park. Farewell Milco, Australia’s loss is Thailand’s gain.

bring back miles
Original image from This is Oz

all the dead

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