Poor oul’ Casey, he’s the best of the Braxtons, but things with Ruby are dodgy since the disappearance of Angelo. Apparently he was like a “stepdad” to Rubes. Indy talked some sense into her, and the two ladies made up while they were at it. Awww friends…

Colleen got her undergarments in a twist over Keith, so Morag invited him to the caravan park to thrash it out. Colleen used a weird whispery voice to tell Keith she wanted to be more than friends. Level 1 achieved, yippee for Mrs. Smart. Even if Keith is about twice her height.

Meanwhile, at sea, Romeo was running a divorce cruise with a load of rowdy ladies. One fell overboard and the Captain saved her. I think it was all a ruse to get Romeo to strip.

Marilyn and Sid were performing their own Carry On film, after he came home locked as a result of hanging out with Elijah. Luckily George started crying and saved us all the embarrassment.

Colleen and Keith found the most obvious grave ever in the woods. IS IT ANGELO ROSETTA’S?

Marilyn is very easily led. A few words from Colleen, and she’s proposing marriage to Sid. The doctor was quite unimpressed with the suggestion. He went straight to Roo aka The Oracle of Summer Bay for some advice.

Liam went to his investigation high on his unnamed drugs. The Cigire thought he was locked. Bye bye teaching job. Teaching hurts so much. Summer Bay HIGH indeed. Bianca served up an ultimatum, but Liam chose the gear.

Dex is having trouble with Xavier and April’s rekindled romance. He went to Romeo (not Roo for some reason) for advice. In the end, Dex told April how strange it was and now everyone’s mates again. But, he still LOOOOOVES April.

Well it’s finally happened, Web 2.0 has hit the bay. Again. Last week it was Gina and Facebook. This time it’s Palmer and Twitter, as prompted by Roo. He’s keeping all 20 of his followers riveted with updates from behind the scenes at the surf carnival. All went well until Xavier robbed his iPhone to tweet some updates. Mangrove River got the hump when Xavier, as John, called them creampuffs and criminals. There will be some strife at the carnival itself, no doubt about that.

Colleen and Mick McCarthy are big fans of the Webinet and are forever poking each other. It would be great if Colleen started a twitter account that we could follow in real life. That would be priceless.

Back in RL, Miles and Leah had a wee kiss. So cute. Mwah.

What the eff is going on with April?  She’s having panic attacks, is convinced she has skin cancer, and the only person she’ll talk to is Dex.  Flippin’ ‘eck.  Obvs it all stems from the whole chemical debacle.  That guilt is weighing heavy on her mind.

Casey is going to represent Summer Bay High at some Science do; plus he’s going to be tested for dyslexia.  That was all a bit too easy.  He and Xavier need to crash the car now or something, to make up for it.

Colleen dragged Morag to a victims of crime meeting.  Morag pulled some good faces, and Colleen left with a spring in her step.  She’ll be patrolling the streets of the Bay in no time.  I wonder if YCPD have a Garda Reserve equivalent?

Well, this is brilliant. Romeo is wracked with guilt because he, oops, took it to the took level with the wrong girl! Such an easy mistake to make. He’s decided though, that it’s Indy he wants, after she tempted him with a near-striptease by email. Poor mad Ruby had her heart set on him though, and wasn’t too impressed when he said hands off. She’s going to wreak havoc, you mark my words. Nicole and Miles already know; tell Colleen as well and job done, Rubes.

Inquiring minds in Summer Bay want to know; did Miles and Elijah go to the same African barber?  They both have new dos.

Poor old Veej is having a hard time understanding why Elijah married someone else. I’m having a hard time understanding why Leah didn’t say “Look, yer wan Grace needed a visa so she could get treatment for her sick son”.

The River Boys – crook or not? I can’t decide. They haven’t really done anything yet, and one of them really fancies Colleen. In any case, both Angelo and Charlie are about to join their merry gang of surfies.

Check this out; who do you think wears the beard best? This was sent to homeandawayireland HQ by the reader known only as Saul.

Not since the hazy, lazy, crazy days of Johnny and Rocco has the Bay seen a band of boys so goddamn bad.  These hombres are really shaking up the town. They must have heard that Alf was off globetrotting, and in they swooped. Colleen has the measure of them, shrieking “Hooligans” every chance she gets.

Been spending most my life, living in a Gangsta’s Paradise.  So says Casey, the newest addition to Summer Bay High. He’s already mates with Romeo, who no doubt will be easily led astray. I’m just waiting for Coolio to show up.

Elijah’s on the way back from “Africa”. He’s got news. Colleen’s convinced Leah he’s coming back to sweep her off her feet. I bet he’s got a new sheila.

Well, Alf is out and he’s ready for a scrap.  He’s raging against the changes made to the surf club in his absence by the original JP.  Personally, I don’t think they’re too outrageous.  Paying for parking after four hours is fair enough.  How could you spend four solid hours in the surf club anyway?

Despite his new-found vigour, Alf has also emerged as the most forgiving man in all Australia.  First he had a chinwag to Irene, who was ready to see him locked away for life.  Then he hightailed it down to the cop shop for a tete-a-tete with Will, even convincing him to speak to Lilly before he went down.

Will turned out to be a bit of a tragic figure.  He’s off to jail and for a long time, be the sound of it.  I’m living for the day when Gypsy shows up.

Lilly seemed happy enough with her da’s explanation of what happened.  So much so that she gave Veej his first kiss.  Cute!

Morag and Colleen deserve their own spin-off show.  Their repartee is delicious.

Sing hallelujah, Marilyn lives!  And she is a changed woman.  She saw no hint of the afterlife when she was “dead”, so she’s throwing caution to the wind and even eating hospital food.  Unfortunately for her, however, Colleen already watched her deathtape in which Marilyn confessed she and Lancie replaced Colleen’s mother’s ashes with dog remains.  Colleen was ripping.  Hilarity ensued.

Ooh RR finally got some info out of Will; he reckons that Alf killed Penn, having seen him covered in blood in the wee hours of the morning.  High drama!