I’m so excited, I’m gonna live blog this episode, here goes:

Argh, shut up about sport, RTE people!
I forgot about Harvey’s stupid face!
Also forgot about Sid’s declaration of love!
Harvey’s in the “barbecue area”.
Roo is keeping Harvey at bay cos of the doc.
Romeo slacking on his dinner preparations, very slow chopping.
Marilyn’s hair is lovely.
Roo and Marilyn having a girlie chat about boys.
Miles and Veej hanging out on beach.
Colleen driving sick Irene mad.
There’s going to be a surprise fundraiser for Irene.
Harvey putting pressure on Alf re: Blaxland.
“Just because I’m your son, doesn’t mean you can control everything I do”. Veej demands RESPECT.
Miles is very philosophical about the break-up. Veej thinks it’s Leah’s fault.

BREAK

Poor Irene is crying. Awwww. Cancer’s no joke.
Alf says Colleen’s mouth works overtime. He’s not wrong.
Irene is not on for leaving the house.
Alf’s under orders to wear pink for the fundraiser.
“Are you using me to get Dad’s boat”, sez Roo to Harvey.
Veej and Leah rowing. IM NEARLY THIRTEEN.
Marilyn coaxing Irene out of house. Very persuasive.
Roo and Harvey row, Alf kicks him out. IN YER FACE HARVEY
Irene stunned at fundraiser, makes speech.
Palmer in pink cowboy hat.
Roo calls to farm, Romeo can lease Blaxland again, Sid says forget about his declaration of love.
The ladies have wine, cake and biscuits.
Veej getting a bus outta town. I bet he’s going to THE CITY.

…Home and Away is back. So far it has concentrated on the exploits of the Walker men. They are both in recently-formed couples, leaving broken hearts in their wake. I actually like Sid and Roo as a couple, their annoyingness has worn off; perhaps the H&A break did me good.

Colleen is unusually angry about the romantic dalliances of Sid and Dexter. At least Indi has good cause. She and her new husband are having money woes. Surprisingly, a student and a tour operator don’t rake in the dough in Summer Bay.

Well, ol’ Lady Brax is one tough cookie. She is also the opposite of every other ma. Not for her an educated son, no she’d rather have a fella who can fillet a fish. So when Casey decided to go back to school, she saw red and chucked him out. He’s staying over at Law Central aka Charlie’s house. She won’t like that.

Head Brax and Charlie had a strange moment when she called around to check out the domestic disturbance. It was probably supposed to be meaningful and romantic; after all, he was talking about their future children, albeit in a roundabout way. But Charlie just managed to look completely disgusted.

Colleen was hilarious yet again, scripting an article for the Coastal News about how Elijah is an angel from heaven, and should be reinstated at the Church. Luckily for him, he donned his collar again before she had a chance to publish it.

Charlie came to the rescue at the beach, calling an ambulance when Ruby couldn’t. Xavier went back to the hospital and is grand. As someone pointed out the last time he was in, young males in Summer Bay General are not allowed to wear tops. Anyway, Gina and John had to pass up a trip to Hawaii to keep an eye on the surfing champ.

Dex and Kate called it a day, and April copped on that Dex lurves her. Cue loadsa coy, meaningful glances.

Colleen is amazing. She reckons The Man Upstairs has it in for her, after the small electrocution, due to her gossiping ways. Elijah called over and she went mental. Brilliant. I especially like Morag as nursemaid.

So, Xavier and John “rescued” the laydeez from the perils of the bush. Or they had a mudfight and the girls were grand anyway. It was pretty funny when they caked each other in mud.

Liam is trying to get his head sorted. Bianca is finding this hard to take, she wants to wait for Liam but he is having none of that.  In fairness to Ireland’s own, he seems genuine about fixing his addiction issues once and for all, for himself, and not for anyone else.

April seems a bit upset by the whole process. She did her best to get Liam and Bianca back together but it seems like a lost cause.  I really hope that Bianca doesn’t “move on” with Heath Braxton.  Whatever Liam’s problems are, he’s not as much as a drop kick Heath.

Colleen told Keith to hit the road. She’s not happy with her decision, though. He might be back yet. Here he is being scared by nothing:

Poor oul’ Casey, he’s the best of the Braxtons, but things with Ruby are dodgy since the disappearance of Angelo. Apparently he was like a “stepdad” to Rubes. Indy talked some sense into her, and the two ladies made up while they were at it. Awww friends…

Colleen got her undergarments in a twist over Keith, so Morag invited him to the caravan park to thrash it out. Colleen used a weird whispery voice to tell Keith she wanted to be more than friends. Level 1 achieved, yippee for Mrs. Smart. Even if Keith is about twice her height.

Meanwhile, at sea, Romeo was running a divorce cruise with a load of rowdy ladies. One fell overboard and the Captain saved her. I think it was all a ruse to get Romeo to strip.

Marilyn and Sid were performing their own Carry On film, after he came home locked as a result of hanging out with Elijah. Luckily George started crying and saved us all the embarrassment.

Colleen and Keith found the most obvious grave ever in the woods. IS IT ANGELO ROSETTA’S?

Marilyn is very easily led. A few words from Colleen, and she’s proposing marriage to Sid. The doctor was quite unimpressed with the suggestion. He went straight to Roo aka The Oracle of Summer Bay for some advice.

Liam went to his investigation high on his unnamed drugs. The Cigire thought he was locked. Bye bye teaching job. Teaching hurts so much. Summer Bay HIGH indeed. Bianca served up an ultimatum, but Liam chose the gear.

Dex is having trouble with Xavier and April’s rekindled romance. He went to Romeo (not Roo for some reason) for advice. In the end, Dex told April how strange it was and now everyone’s mates again. But, he still LOOOOOVES April.

Well it’s finally happened, Web 2.0 has hit the bay.  Again.  Last week it was Gina and Facebook.  This time it’s Palmer and Twitter, as prompted by Roo.  He’s keeping all 20 of his followers riveted with updates from behind the scenes at the surf carnival.  All went well until Xavier robbed his iPhone to tweet some updates.  Mangrove River got the hump when Xavier, as John, called them creampuffs and criminals. There will be some strife at the carnival itself, no doubt about that.

Colleen and Mick McCarthy are big fans of the Webinet and are forever poking each other.  It would be great if Colleen started a twitter account that we could follow in real life.  That would be priceless.

Back in RL, Miles and Leah had a wee kiss.  So cute.  Mwah.

What the eff is going on with April?  She’s having panic attacks, is convinced she has skin cancer, and the only person she’ll talk to is Dex.  Flippin’ ‘eck.  Obvs it all stems from the whole chemical debacle.  That guilt is weighing heavy on her mind.

Casey is going to represent Summer Bay High at some Science do; plus he’s going to be tested for dyslexia.  That was all a bit too easy.  He and Xavier need to crash the car now or something, to make up for it.

Colleen dragged Morag to a victims of crime meeting.  Morag pulled some good faces, and Colleen left with a spring in her step.  She’ll be patrolling the streets of the Bay in no time.  I wonder if YCPD have a Garda Reserve equivalent?

Well, this is brilliant. Romeo is wracked with guilt because he, oops, took it to the took level with the wrong girl! Such an easy mistake to make. He’s decided though, that it’s Indy he wants, after she tempted him with a near-striptease by email. Poor mad Ruby had her heart set on him though, and wasn’t too impressed when he said hands off. She’s going to wreak havoc, you mark my words. Nicole and Miles already know; tell Colleen as well and job done, Rubes.