Ups and downs

Thursday, April 4th, 2013

After all that to-and-fro, Bianca and Heath are now engaged. In a mad/nice move, Celia gave Heath her engagement ring, from her marriage that never was. Les sounds like a nice sort.

So, there’s another Home and Away wedding in the works. It’s been 13 months since Bianca’s last big day, and 14 months since she was going to marry the Prince.

When Celia told Alf about her generosity, he told her her work was done, and to pack her bags. Strange logic, but it seemed to work. Celia is off into the wide blue yonder again. Shame, they could do with a older lady for comic relief. Yoo-hoo, only me!

Sasha is becoming fast friends with Maddie and Spence, and Rosie doesn’t like it one bit. The poor child is gone daft with loneliness. So she tried to fake-drown herself in the sea, in order to get Sasha’s attention. I found myself shouting “would ye just float” at the telly. I’d say they were only a few feet into the ocean.

Poor Sasha too, she always attracts the nutters. Maybe she’ll have to “accidentally” kill Rosie too.*

Real-life Sasha and Rosie are on Twitter, see our H&A twitter list here.



* Only messing, Sasha, old chum.

Heath is a hero

Wednesday, April 3rd, 2013

Heath told Bianca she was doing his head in, because she had a mickeyfit when he proposed. You and me both, Heath old boy.

Heath is so easily led, though, that he’ll soon come around to Bianca’s way of thinking. It only took Celia 10 minutes to brainwash him. He’s so angry and simple.

There’s no room for April in Irene’s; she’ll have to head off into the wide blue yonder and become a doctor. You can’t really stay in the Bay once you go to Uni. Indi manages it, but she barely goes, she’s far too busy working in the diner Angelo’s. Dani had a few Uni scenes, but took off shortly afterwards. Countless others have just disappeared into the arms of education.

Roo is being extra-extra weird around Maddie and Spencer. What’s it all about, Harvey?

Do you think we will ever see Lottie again? Maybe she died of those measles/chickenpox.

Tattoo tales

Tuesday, April 2nd, 2013

Heath got a grenade on his neck because he liked blowing stuff up as a child. That’s amazing. Celia is unimpressed with his body art and doesn’t think Bianca should be going out with him. She decided to stick her nose in and tell them how to live their lives, I’m surprised he didn’t stitch her a head butt, instead it made him pluck up the courage to propose to Bianca.

Jett is still having bullying issues with Tilda. Gina got Sasha to talk to the boy but he feels he deserves the bullying for his past ways, low self esteem issues.

Sasha’s mate Rosie is getting very clingy, in a stalker way. She’s possessive and jealous, I can’t see that friendship ending well. She bought Sasha a friendship bracelet, which reminded me of Joey’s “bestest buds” bracelets in Friends.

Roo and Harvey are vying for supremacy with Spencer’s dad. He is trying to control his son’s life but the kids are having none of it. Roo and Harvey are taking them in so they can stay in the Bay and start new lives in the caravan park. Spencer told his Da to shove it, and he slinked off with a massive puss on his face. Serves him right, the tool.

Brax is back

Wednesday, March 27th, 2013

Brax is back, without a cailĂ­n on his arm. Luckily, he returned before Heath destroyed Angelo’s. Order will soon be restored.

Brax was away long enough for Natalie to decide to move on. He didn’t talk to her in his first four hours in the Bay, so she’s kissing the lad that works in the prison. Swift.

Celia’s fella, Sheldon, showed up and tried to persuade her to get back on the gambling circuit, so she sent him packing. Alf is relieved.

Romeo and Indi are taking over the gym, with Sid’s backing. Hopefully Romeo can put his apparently amazing sales skills to use and get some customers in.

Jamie showed up in Casey’s jail, which seems a bit too low-security for him. The really simple-looking fella who hates Casey is trying to get Jamie onside. It’s just like Prisoner Cell Block H, but without the laundry.

Check out the Braxtons in TV Now. Steve Peacocke’s tagline is mega lame: “I have a beautiful girlfriend”. Oh, well done Steve.

braxtons tv now


Psycho Sid

Monday, March 25th, 2013

Sid is off getting his head sorted. Indi is grand with him having his own time, but Dex was too curious about his well-being. He went looking for his Dad and tracked him down, can’t see Sid being too happy about his family finding out about his breakdown.

Romeo had a chat with John Palmer and got a brain-wave when discussing the gym. What’s happened to the old Summer Bay Super Bods? Nobody is leasing it at the moment so Romeo and Indi are going to take it over. Will they do as good a job as Jesse and Hayley did when it first opened? Tony and John also had a go at running it . I back Romeo to get it going, it’s a perfect job for somebody like him, plus he’ll have Indi’s business acumen at his disposal.

Alf and Celia are still a-bluing. Marilyn decided to mediate in the scrap and get the siblings back on speaking terms. Alf said he is sick of his little sister’s lies. He should ask her to stick her tongue out to see if it’s black.

Dodgy deals

Thursday, March 14th, 2013

What a mad episode. Brax took Heath’s place in Adam’s deal. Adam told Brax he’d end up dead. Heath sat at home until Bianca mentioned that maybe he should help Brax out. Heath is a dum dum.

Brax got the stuff from the least threatening baddie I’ve seen since the halcyon days of “Hammer”. It turns out the “stuff” was shipping times. Boring. Heath arrived just in time to accost a henchman who was getting ready to shoot Brax, and the Baddie escaped.

Now, if I were a River Boy, I’d be heading back to the beach at this stage. But Brax went to confront Adam instead. There was some very emotional I-thought-we-were-mates dialogue, before the Baddie returned, and ran over Adam, who died.

NOW I’d be heading home (after ringing the cops, and the ambos, of course). Brax, however, told Heath to look after the business, and Casey, and headed off into the sunset. Wait ’till Casey hears. It’ll probably put him right off his HSC.

In other Bay news, Harvey had sense and called the cops to tell them about Maddie (who has suspected meningitis) and Spencer. Roo went bananas. She is being very unreasonable.

Finally, Celia is still mad for the pokies, or the gee gees, or gambling in general. It won’t be long until Alf wises up to her.

Gavin from DOCS

Thursday, March 7th, 2013

Ok, Gavin wasn’t from DOCS. I just wanted to say DOCS. Gavin is a Community Services Officer who now has to decide whether Darcy should live with Heath and Bianca or not. Did the other Braxton bros ruin their chances by roaring at each other?

Celia admitted to Alf that she loves an oul’ gamble. He was very forgiving.

Tamara admitted to Casey that she loves his intense stare-y ways. The young wans are mad for a bit of Casey, it must be the bad-boy, jail connection. Because he’s a fool.

Tamara’s ex, Nelson, is coming after her. Another potential contestant in a round of Who-Can-Beat-The-Braxtons?


Divorces and discoveries

Wednesday, March 6th, 2013

Heath and Bianca are united in their desire to build a life with Darcy. Bianca was reluctant initially but as it the usual way in the bay, changed her mind after five minutes. She thought that their chances would be better if she got a divorce from her husband Liam. He was vexed by this, for some reason, it’s a long time since they were together.

His day didn’t get any better when Kyle became the latest Brax bro to work in Angelo’s. Liam questioned his work ethic and wondered if he’d do proper shifts or Heath shifts. Despite Liam’s scepticism Kyle put in a trojan effort and booked in a party for dinner. He’s got Liam onside now, will he be able to do the same with Brax?

Celia revealed that the mysterious thief in the diner was none other than herself. Who knew? Not Alf anyway, he thought it was some fella that she was covering for. Alas that wasn’t the case, his sister has light fingers. He’d better watch out, she’ll be robbing the worms from the bait shop next.

Roo was distraught to discover the runaways ran away. Fear not Ruth, they’ll return as the age profile of the cast is getting a bit older than usual at the moment.

Celia’s a klepto-gamblo

Friday, March 1st, 2013

Celia is a smart one: nicking money, blowing it on the pokies, making a fortune and returning the cash. She bought everyone presents, and now Alfred is most suspicious.

Romeo is wise to Jett’s love for Indi. Jett is quite the crafty beau, he smeared lipstick on Romeo’s collar in the hopes of causing a marital rift.

Casey is going to be Top Dog in that prison any minute now; he flushed yer man’s gear and then went all intense around the eyes. CASEYSTAREPOWER!

As there’s a prison storyline, I feel the need to include this:

Job opportunities

Wednesday, February 27th, 2013

Spencer and Maddy were so desperate for somewhere warm and safe that they broke into the school. Before long they’ll be mitching off school. While there Maddy showed her mean violin skills. Maybe they should go busking, that would earn them a fortune. Alternatively, they could rely on Roo’s generosity to put them up in a van.

Celia is now working for Alf in the caravan park and wants to become its guest relations manager. All these years and they didn’t realise what they were missing. Not only will she clean the place up but she’ll also enforce a strict moral code among the guests, no kissing or fondling allowed, which doesn’t sound like much crack. Will gambling be allowed?

Liam and Brax are concocting a plan to get back at Adam. They staged a firing incident in front of Adam. He bought it and encouraged Liam to take a job working for him rather than going on the dole. Poor simpleton/psycho Jamie was accosted by a vigilante posse of Kyle and Heath. Jamie ran back to Adam and spilled his guts, saying they should leave town, a proposal which didn’t go down well with his dad. He fell for Heath’s ruse and overheard Brax and Liam using a fake safe house location for Leah as bait. The dupe fell right into the trap and turned around up in the empty house to find himself face to face with his worst nightmare, Kyle “he’s off his head” Braxton.

bring back miles
Original image from This is Oz

all the dead

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