One last surf

Monday, September 29th, 2014

One last surf

Well, that was amazing. In one episode, Connie came around, handed Darcy over to  Heath, Bianca showed up, and they all disappeared off to The City, never to be seen again. It was like an Irish wake in Famine times. “When will I see you again?”, “Ah sure, I don’t know”. I’m fairly sure The City is not that far away.

Ricky showed her true colours as a Home and Away aficionado when she used a theme song lyric to berate Connie, “you know they belong together”. Her guilt trip worked wonders, and Connie agreed that the Heathcliff Braxton family would be better as one household.

The Boyz went for ONE LAST SURF. Kyle was hanging back, leaving the original crew to it, until Brax muttered “You coming or what?”. They all had a topless pow-wow on the beach, then Brax, Heath and Casey went for a surf. Why did Kyle get topless if he wasn’t even going to swim? And it looked like The Boyz were only body-boarding anyway, he could’ve managed that.

Go in the effing sea, at least

Go in the effing sea, at least

Back at the gaff, Phoebe stood up to Chezza, who just shrugged. Harley wore an amazing hat for his final scenes.

HARLEYHAT

HARLEYHAT

Now that the Braxton numbers have been decimated, Brax has reluctantly agreed to have a baby with Ricky. He needs more troops to continue his reign of the Bay. He’ll be the next Alfred Stewart in no time.

Heath’s off

Friday, September 26th, 2014

That episode:

Heath: I’m moving to the city to be with Biancaaaaaa
Brax: Oi, what?
Darcy: Oi, what? I hate youuuuu.
Connie: See what you’ve done? (oi)
Heath: My little girl hates me (but I’m going anyway).
Darcy: Hi dad
Connie: Actually…you can have custody, byeeee!
All: Oi!

No future

Monday, September 22nd, 2014

There is an awful lot of miscommunication in relation to Darcy and her injury. Connie went to the hospital and spoke to the Nate to try to get to the bottom of it but didn’t really get anywhere.  Heath lost it with Brax over his advice to not to leg it with the kids. Connie had a showdown with Heath and told him off over his poor parenting skills. She told him to drop the custody attempt as he doesn’t stand a chance, it’ll just end up upsetting Darcy.

Sasha tried to persuade Matt that he could achieve something in life but he wasn’t buying it, he reckons his future will be spent delivering pizzas or in a cleaning job. Sash thinks the world is his oyster but he is thinking along the lines of the sex pistols: there’s no future, no future, no future for you.

Sophie took a pregnancy test which was negative but it turns out she just had appendicitis.  Now Nate is worried that she’ll be back on the painkillers given her history with them.  She’s bound to have a relapse at some stage, maybe herself and Zac can have a pills and booze party in the head master’s office?

Avoiding the Braxtonverse

Wednesday, September 17th, 2014

Phoebe wants to get a flat for herself and Kyle. She arranged it by getting Matt to pretend to be a reference, she didn’t want to have to rely on a Brax reference. Then she met the landlord on the sly without telling Kyle. He put 2+2 together when he saw them and thinks something is going on. Things will get worse when he finds out that she robbed money from the till for the deposit.

Josh has realised his relationship with Maddy is going nowhere, he must be sick of the moaning, which will be twice as bad now she has to to repeat the year in school. He met her on the pier to give her the heave-ho but before he could get the words out she was telling him that she is going to change and she needs him. He’ll have to put up with her for now so.

Alf and Roo had World War 3 in the kitchen while John, Marilyn and Jett tried to stay out of the way. Alf wasn’t impressed with her going to South America without telling him but she still hasn’t explained why she went there. Mysterious.

We need to talk about…

Tuesday, September 16th, 2014

Bonkers Braxtons

Monday, September 15th, 2014

There were many displays of mad Braxton behaviour in today’s episode:

  • Darcy broke her arm, so everyone went to the hospital. I broke my arm when I was 11 and there wasn’t an aunt or uncle in sight.
  • Heath didn’t explain the scenario properly, so Dr. Accent thinks he is bating lumps out of Darce.
  • Brax nearly bashed Casey because he himself doesn’t want to have a baby, thus proving to himself that he’s not a fit father, but in fact, A DOG.

Also:

  • The Braxtons were in hospital yet again. I wonder if a month goes by in Summer Bay without a Braxton injury?
Bash interrupted

Bash interrupted

Not much else happened, really. Alf wants to know why Chris called the cops on the Barretts. I’m sure he’ll get the full story shortly.

Cop caller

Friday, September 12th, 2014

Spencer is insistant that he’s going to call the cops, despite Josh having told him that Andy got rid of the drugs. Unbeknownst to Josh,  Andy had just hidden them on the farm rather than getting rid of them. The cops turned up to question Andy and took him in for questioning in front of Hannah, Josh and Evie. Josh saw Spencer on the beach and blamed him for Andy’s arrest and punched his lights out, even though Spencer denied calling the old bill in the first place.

Psychic twins alert! Ozone knew that Evie was upset by using his mental powers. Evie went to confront Zac over his plan to move out. He can’t handle Andy and Hannah so he wants to leave them to it but the twins want him to stay.

Darcy was missing so Heath and Brax went looking for her. She was afraid to go to the hospital with her sore arm. Some friend of Darcy’s went to the hospital once and didn’t get to return home so Darcy was afraid that the same thing might happen to her.

Pizza frisbee

Tuesday, September 9th, 2014

Irene invented a new sport today by hurling one of Angelo’s finest take away pizzas off the end of the pier. Sasha jumped into the water to rescue it because she was worried about the environmental impact. The end result was that Sasha got her job back as she covered at the diner.

Brax is still moping over the fact that his brothers can take care of themselves. He is missing the drama but it led him to believe that he did a good job in helping them, maybe he’s ready to have a baby with Ricky now?

Kyle and Phoebe tried to rent a flat but didn’t get one due to his name and criminal ways. Why should he still be punished for his past? He’s a reformed man now and hasn’t kidnapped anybody in weeks.

Ozone gave out to Zac for his bum advise which resulted in his bashing. He said Zac is still hung up on Hannah and can’t focus on the twins. Andy got praise from Hannah for helping Zac but it looks like he had a secret drug stash taped under his caravan, she won’t be impressed when that comes to light.

 

Eff you, doc

Monday, September 1st, 2014

Doctors are the most abused characters in Summer Bay. Any time someone’s in hospital, their relatives show up and slag off their medic’s professional skills until such time as the injured party miraculously recovers. Alf had a go at Dr. Accent today for being late for work. He was on call, but his phone was mysteriously on silent mode, something the good doc swore he never does. He’s blaming the ex-wife and no wonder, with her erstwhile unreliable druggy ways.

Roo is still unconscious, the victim of an as-yet-unnamed virus. Maddie is taking it hard, so Josh left her in the hospital to go off house riding with Evie. Unusually, this physical exertion didn’t end up with a topless youth in a hospital bed, but rather with an illicit smooch. What will Maddie say? Probably not too much, as she is leaning on Spencer for support and he is currently girlfriend-free. Handy.

Not a broken limb in sight

Not a broken limb in sight

And the girlfriend worried sick in hospital...

And the girlfriend worried sick in hospital…

Ricky wants a baby, and Brax doesn’t. He’s afraid the child will turn out to be a DOG like Danny, and Darryl himself apparently. Like all Brax decisions, this one is rooted in martyrdom.

Doing it tough

Doing it tough

Family meeting

Monday, August 18th, 2014

Brax called a family meeting and then proceeded to tell the gang that there was no point to the meeting, he just wanted to see them all and get a progress report. It wasn’t quite what they were all expecting, these things normally involve assassination attempts or somebody being sent to jail. Brax is worried about the boys and wants to have more input from them, some involvement in their lives. He even volunteered to babysit Harley. They had a massive barbie in the garden, looked like a great time, complete with crap music and burnt snags. Brax seemed disappointed that there’s no drama with his bros. Be careful what you wish for Darryl.

Phoebe is still worried about the shooting as she doesn’t know that her Dad was behind it. Brax told Kyle to fess up and tell her the truth which he had to do eventually, she was suitably gob smacked when she found out her Dad is a dog.

Denny is having second thoughts about Chris. He pales in comparison to Casey in her eyes. Hannah asked her whats going on and she told her that she’s going off him, she finds him a bit annoying now. Chris tried to call over to Denny’s but she was having a girl’s night.

Spencer confronted Evelyn about her having the hots for Josh but she wasn’t impressed. Maddie copped on too and told Josh so it won’t be long before Evelyn finds out that everyone else knows. Cue Josh calling over and telling her he knows but she denied it and said it was all in Spencer’s head.

Braxton punch count: 0
Harley hat count: 1

bring back miles
Original image from This is Oz



all the dead


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