Brax is back and taking no nonsense. A smart remark from Heath about Charlie earned him a swift headbutt and a talking-to. Heath also managed to fall foul of Geoffrey, the local mobster, so now it’s down to Brax to clean up that mess too. He should round up The Boyz and start a topless manoeuvre.

Saint Irene arose from her sickbed to sort out the squabbling Scott sisters. It didn’t work though, April had a through-the-window visit from Heath before he disappeared down the coast.

In a mad storyline, Elijah is moving into Leah’s for a week as she’s not comfortable living in a House of Death. How long until he pulls his holy moves on the flustered chef?

What do you do in small town Australia if you have a medical degree but no job? Hang around the diner in your track suit apparently. Then he went to the hospital and tried to take over Irene’s treatment. Maybe he should get a job as a pizza delivery boy for Angelo’s.

Irene has to take it handy now because of her heart problems. Do you think she’ll listen? I would imagine that she’ll be back in the diner in no time.

Heath and Dex had a bit of a face off in the surf club. That’s a fight I’d like to see but blink and you’d miss it. Dex had a bit of a heart to heart with April and told her that he hadn’t got it on with Dallas. There was hints of rapprochement there but then April met Heath on the beech and went back to his place for more sexiness. Then her conscience pricked her as she’d promised Bianca she’d stay away from him. Heath made do with his playstation, what age is he supposed to be?

So Brax and Casey went up the coast for a surf but where is Ruby gone? Did she go to the city on her own? She didn’t have any sort of going away do. Maybe she’s concentrating on her music career, recording a follow up single to “kisses hurt so much”.

Charlie’s funeral went off without a hitch, well there was the small problem of her boyfriend not being there. Brax couldn’t make it as he was busy lashing into the old sea dog rum in Angelo’s. He did turn up to Leah’s later to go off at Ruby for turning off the life support machine. Ruby hit back by saying how Brax coming into Charlie’s life was the worst thing to ever happen to her. Ouch. She did have a point though, he cost Charlie a lot.

Morag turned up for the funeral and told Ruby how proud of her she was. Rubes is still heading to the city with Casey, wait scratch that, he’s not going now. He was disturbed by Brax’s diatribe and said he had to stay in the bay for his bro. Rubes is going to be flying solo in the city.

Sasha and Xav seem to be getting on well these days. I know she’s 15 but what age is he now, 18? I wonder what he’s going to do next? He had talked about going backpacking round the world for a year which would be cool but it’s hard to see what other careers might be open to him. Maybe he could turn evil and take over the boys who’ve lacked leadership since Brax took early retirement. Otherwise he’ll have to settle for a job in the surf club, Angelo’s or the bait shop.There aren’t many options for a young male school leaver in the bay.

Poor Sid. There was a hostage situation in the hospital, nudey pics of his daughter were flying around by text, Sasha confronted Stu, got threatened by his da, Sid threatened to end the da, Sid got fired and later dumped.

The only people who had a worse day were Ruby and Brax.

If Brax has a thing for cops, he could approach Watson. Just sayin’.

So, Charlie is dead. Or more correctly, she’s braindead. It never stopped her doing her job before, but Dr. Sid is keen for Ruby to pull the plug. Maybe he’s anxious to have the room free for the next time Xavier gets injured.

Brax and Jake had a fight/chase, which ended in Jake being taken away by the cops. He’s not too clever, old Jake; he’s going straight back into the slammer. Maybe he likes it.

Ruby is coming around to the idea of turning off Charlie’s machines. Brax is not so happy with it. I foresee a massive outburst of rage.

There is one thing that the good Doctor Walker hasn’t tried, though. Why not get all the River Boys around to the hospital and have them take off their tops? If anything could revive a braindead woman, that’d be it.

There’s a new cop. He seems useless. He gave Sid a good talking-to when he was leaving the cells.

Stu’s dad showed up in the hospital. Turns out he is fairly scobey. Not surprising really.

Elijah is doing a LOT of hanging around the Patterson-Bakers. What about his job?

Liam and Bianca are engaged. It must be at least two weeks since she had sex with another man, so fair enough. Good one by Liam taping the ring inside her motorbike helmet. I hope they invite His Royal Highness Vittorio.

Indi found out Romeo gave Mink their savings. She gave him a bollocking, and rightly so. I hope she still has her own bank account.

Romeo gave the weird spy fella info on the new development, which weird spy fella passed onto Harvey. Harvey announced this at a council rally, and everyone was strangely disgusted at what looked like a nice new development to me.

In terrible news, Miles is leaving. Sally got him a teaching job in Thailand, the wench. He can’t take being around Leah anymore. Boooo.

Lastly, I wish Colleen would call to my house with scones. She could nose around all she wanted.

Oh, actually, I forgot that Leah saw Little Brax when Big Brax and Charlie were having night-time boldness in the kitchen. Why don’t either of the lovebirds have their own house?

Who was the mystery weirdo watching Charlie and Brax having a pash? Wouldn’t it be deadly if it was Alf, and this was a hobby of his?

Anyway would Charlie and Brax ever eff off? She’s a cop and bad at her job. He’s a prior dealie (betcha that’s a word) with ties to his past. I get it, it’s a conflict. Zzzzzzzz

Miles found out about Elijah fancying Leah. He was heartbroken, poor thing. Leah doesn’t know, and has no interest in the Rev. Good woman Leah, he’s turned into a SAP. Miles is going to visit Sally in Thailand, hopefully he meets Cassie and Baby Henk too.

Romeo got yet another job, and immediately asked for an advance. My faith in his business acumen is dwindling by the day.

Sid and Roo are an item again. Turns out she loves paeLLa.

As per usual, I was left wondering what Roo was wearing.  Her dress looked like a really poor floor print.  Despite yet another fashion faux pas, it didn’t stop her telling Harvey where to get off when he asked her to be his campaign manager. Fair dinkum. She’s determined that Harvey won’t win the council elections but how can she stop him?  By getting her dad on board, Alf’s had all he can stand and can’t stand no more, he’s running against Harvey and I’m backing him to win.

Brax suggested that Heath join himself and Charlie in the city.  I thought it was a mental idea but Charlie agreed to go along with it.  Is Heath not an adult?  Surely he can make his own way in life without having Brax babysit him.

How many times was Romeo topless in that episode?  Only twice by my count. Minx is causing all kinds of problems between Romeo and Indi.  Mink reckons that Indi is stopping Romeo from doing what he really wants to do.  Mink borrowed more money from Romeo so that she could compete in a surf comp, unbeknownst to Indi.  Her competition revealed the truth to Romeo, Mink’s lost her bottle, she’s losing competitions all over the place and turning up drunk. Poor thick Romeo, Mink has him wrapped around her little finger.

Brax wants to leave town, so Heath set him up with a local mobster, who handily has a wife, a daughter, and a nephew in tow! Brax retracted the offer but I think we’ll seeing more of this crew.

Dexter and Ruby are going to the formal together, just as pals. Good spying-on-April opportunity for Dex.

Leah and Miles are no more. Both of them are pretty sad about it. Elijah is ALREADY sniffing around Leah, so Marilyn warned him off.

Marilyn also advised Dexter to apologise to April. He did so while wearing the worst suit of all time. Not only that, but April told him to get bent. She’s still annoyed with him, so she’s devised a plan to seduce some randomer at the formal. She confided in Ruby, who, unsurprisingly, thought it was a great idea.

Bianca is trying to keep Liam away from Brax, as the Rock Star still doesn’t know the truth about the accident. She won’t have to worry for too much longer, as Charlie and Brax are conspiring to leave town. Brax can’t stay around and resist The Boys.