Leah went on a blind date with craig from Yabbie Creek. It was a disaster. He bored her and he was unimpressed with her drinking. Leah thought it was hilarious when he walked out and left her there on her own in the restaurant. She ordered a bottle of champagne and got locked. Then she sat at the bar and chatted up one of the boys. Brax came in and saved her but she was expecting a goodnight pash when he dropped her home. He managed to resist her drunken advances on the couch. She should have pulled the puke on him move she used on Roman years ago, that’s a sure fire winner every time.

Lottie has a thing for Dex. She told him she likes guys with muscles and a sense of humour, so he’s halfway there. She told Roo that he needs to get over his ex, April, first. I think Dex will kiss Lottie just as April is about to tell him how she feels.

Sid and the new doctor, Melissa had a bit of a flirt at the dinner. Sid seems to have moved on from Roo so maybe that could go places.

John and Harvey are still engaged in their council politics power struggle. Don’t know about the rest of you but I find this storyline pretty boring.

Well, Bianca grew a baby bump overnight, decided to leave town, Liam quit his job, and Heath felt the baby kick. How many times has Liam caught Bianca and Heath together? He got mad and basically admitted he doesn’t want the baby. In fairness, who wants to raise a River Baby? They’d be permanently topless, and always causing fights. Your house and head would be wrecked.

Bianca and April are sly hos. Bianca ran straight to Irene when she was upset, but when Irene had cancer, she basically ignored her. April had no interest in Dex till he found a new buddy. HOS.

P.S. How come Bianca never speaks Italian anymore?

P.P.S. Liam Murphy has some neck telling Leah to clear out of her own house for the evening.

Dex found two college mates who gave him girlfriend advice when they saw April’s name on his copy. They said he didn’t have a chance of getting her back due to his nice guy image. He needed their help in the form of a bad boy makeover. They all went to the bar for shots and lessons in being elusive. Can’t see it ending well. If this works, April is a simpleton. Maybe he’ll take it to heart and join the river boys.

Poor Felix is a desperate actor. Fair play to Sasha, she didn’t desert her brother or forget about him, unlike Xavier and Brendan. Her plan to live with Felix in the city didn’t work out and she came back to the farm.

Henri is going to take a job at the school, but has a lot to consider, not least her affair with Casey. I can see the doo-doo hitting the fan before long. Casey has very bad timing with his text messages. They’ll have to take a break until after his exams. Casey will go off the rails before long I’d say. Maybe he’ll threaten to leave school again.

Haha Dex loves April and sees her as some kind of hair-tossing goddess. He was eyeing her up at Sasha’s 16th birthday party. Aww cute.

Sasha thought, now that she’s 16, she could take off to the Citee, and become a hairdresser, with Felix in tow. Sid put her straight. So she snuck out after dark.

Romeo and Indi are boring and possibly breaking up.

Brax’s intimidation of Steve got Ruby off the drug charge. So Morag’s off. I would like a Morag and Brax spin-off crimefighting show – “she’s above the law, he’s below it, together they are…”.

SPOILER ALERT…

…

…

…

…

…

AVERT YOUR EYES…

…

…

…

…

…

Twitter follower oheag2 alerted us to this sad, sad news; Colleen is leaving H&A. This is dreadful.

I was going to say – who’ll spread the gossip now – but I suppose we have April for that.

Sasha’s on trial. Morag’s her lawyer. Watson’s agin her. Sasha said Watson was nice to her down the station, but has now changed her tune. Xavier flinched at his mentor being slagged off.

April knows about Casey and Henri. Henri’s gonna quit teaching so the affair can continue. Casey was smiling like a simpleton when he heard.

In grand oul Summer Bay tradition, Elijah tells Leah he’s leaving, on his leaving day. Like so many before him, (Geoff, Annie, and so on) the Rev is only dying to get out of town. He’s going to Another Parish. He had a hooley on the beach before he left, and cleared up any stray plotlines while he was at it. See ya later, Rev.

Leah told Brax a barefaced lie when she said she wasn’t interested in him. The truth will come out in the wash.

Liam went MENTILE at Eddie and smashed his guitar. All because Eddie nicked Liam’s lyrics. Fair enough, I thought. The bauld Eddie is denying all culpability, however. What’s that about? What is he playing at? Is he someone’s long-lost relative or something?

April caught Casey and Henri having a secret after-hours pash in Angelo’s. Knowing her capacity for keeping secrets, the whole Bay will know before long.

Sasha the Bashed Basha is going on trial “tomorrow”. This will be good. I hope Morag features heavily.

April got served by Liam on the beach. She’s also in deep doo-doo with Bianca. So she went straight to Dex, to cry on his shoulder. Poor Dex, he’s a bit of a doormat, he puts up with everybody’s crap. Then he had to try and act normal while April paraded around the farm in front of him wearing one of his t-shirts. I don’t know how he managed to contain himself.

Casey was up to his old tricks with Henry. He called over for a “tutoring session” but hid in the bedroom when Heath called over. Why did he hide? Why not say he was there for tutoring? Then they got a little pash in after class, living dangerously.

Liam and Bianca made an adult decision, they are going to move out and get a place for themselves, or are they? That was what I assumed when they said they were thinking of leaving Irene’s house, but it turns out they just moved into Leah’s instead. Why can’t they afford their own place? It makes no sense.

Well, Liam found out that Heath knows about the baby, so he’s mad at Bianca, and so Bianca’s mad at April and never wants to see her again. However, Liam knew Bianca had slept with Heath when he married her, so he should just effin’ get over it. They could have one of these new-fangled families, with multiple daddies, one of whom slept with Bianca and her sister. They could have awkward Christmasses and Anzac Days from here to eternity. Plus, why are they all still living with Irene? Maybe Heath and Darcy could move in and complete the set.

Ma Stu admitted to poisoning Da Stu. She’s not a bad egg. She told Sid where the book of shame was, and he went to her very badly secured house and got it. Drama over for Sasha. Will she still go to trial or what?

Hot:

• Dex’s bicycle t-shirt
• April’s study outfit

Not:

• Roo’s volumous tent dresses
• Bianca’s weird pink and black top – strange

Bianca lost it with April after Heath confronted her about the baby.  She went down to the beach for a mope and Dex found her there. Dex as ever has let bygones be bygones with April and wants to be mates with her again.

Casey come up with a genius plan of dropping out of school so he could be with Henri.  Clever boy.  But it worked out pretty well for him in the end, he went back to school, Henri is going to be his tutor again and he got to kiss her too.  Why didn’t she just say “wait until after your exams”? Far too sensible for a summer bay storyline.