Don’t leave us, Mr. Stewart! Who’ll keep Palmer under control? Who’ll provide bait for the fishermen of Australia? Who’ll sort the galahs from the flamin’ idiots? This is gonna be a shambles.

Xave nearly died in that episode, with Gina and April looking on. Doctor Sid saved the day though. That’ll teach the kids to mix toxic chemicals in the sink.

Ooh, Nicole got seduced by the glamour of college life.  She even met a nice boy at her very first college party.  Sweet.  Pity she’s up the duff.

Dr. Sid and Marilyn have agreed to look into other options, in case Nicole sees the chisler and wants it for her very own.  Sensible.  However, when they told Nicole, she threw a mickeyfit.  This storyline will probably swing back and forth until she has the baby.

I forgot that Morag and Marilyn are mates.  Flathead pointed out that Marilyn used to be Morag’s housekeeper, but that’s long before my H&A time.

Alf handed over control of the Surf Club to JP.  He’s taking some me time.  I bet he goes to visit Sally/be in a West End show.

Well, Alf is out and he’s ready for a scrap.  He’s raging against the changes made to the surf club in his absence by the original JP.  Personally, I don’t think they’re too outrageous.  Paying for parking after four hours is fair enough.  How could you spend four solid hours in the surf club anyway?

Despite his new-found vigour, Alf has also emerged as the most forgiving man in all Australia.  First he had a chinwag to Irene, who was ready to see him locked away for life.  Then he hightailed it down to the cop shop for a tete-a-tete with Will, even convincing him to speak to Lilly before he went down.

Will turned out to be a bit of a tragic figure.  He’s off to jail and for a long time, be the sound of it.  I’m living for the day when Gypsy shows up.

Lilly seemed happy enough with her da’s explanation of what happened.  So much so that she gave Veej his first kiss.  Cute!

Morag and Colleen deserve their own spin-off show.  Their repartee is delicious.

The truth is revealed!  At last we know whodunit.  Will finished Penn off with Alf’s knife.  Daria/Shandi knew the story and was there while it happened.

Alf is in the clear now and Will’s going away for a long time unless he can convince the court it was self defence. He’ll be banged up in the big house.

Who’ll take care of Lilly now?  She should go back to her mother Gypsy but I wouldn’t be surprised if Irene tried to keep her.

I’m glad that’s over with.  Penn was a pain in the hole.  Will did us all a favour by stabbing him. But the inquest has dragged on for bleedin’ ages.  Is it time that Det Robert Robertson fecked off now?

So, who was Shandi? Oooooh. She must have been some killer spy type. Or maybe she was Penn’s sister, swooping in from the city to exact revenge. Or a jilted lover. Or another mental case. But…why is Will protecting her? Strange, very strange. In any case, Alf is screwed unless Will comes back and tells all.

April is moving back in with Irene. She didn’t seem to ask Irene first, but, stuff it, she won’t mind.

Imagine, if you will,that you are Alfred Douglas (thanks strikemeroan) Stewart. You are accused of murdering one Penn Graham. Your quick temper is partly to blame for this, as you were heard pronouncing that you would kill the man. In this situation, would you:

1. Seek out the witness that had you arrested, and punch him square in the jaw first chance you got?
2. Try to keep your temper in check and avoid the witness?

6 weeks later…

Why do the H&A writers feel the need for these time lapses?  So what’s happened in between?  Ross died and the family buried him.  Charlie and Ruby are devastated but on the upside Morag is back in town.

It appears that Indy passed her exams, maybe she’s off to college?  Dum Romeo failed his on purpose and has to repeat.  Ruby’s happy enough with that outcome as she has her eye on him.

We found out Morag has an iron will. She’ll need that will to protect Alf in his murder case. Detective Robertson didn’t look too happy with the prospect of facing her in court, rightly so too. He should be worried, Justice Bellingham on the warpath is a sight to behold.  I think he may have bitten off more than he can chew this time. It’s great to have her back.

Whoever knew Penn’s middle name was Tiberius? He’s in good company there, he shares the name with Captain Kirk.

Jaysus.  All of a sudden it’s Bianca and Vittorio’s wedding day!  Here’s what happened:

• Bianca’s makeup was shocking, like Lily drew it on with a crayon. Also she was a weird colour.
• Liam showed up looking extremely unkempt.
• Bianca jilted Vittorio at the altar and went off with Liam on his motorbike. Not surprising.
• Romeo, in an uncharacteristic move, punched Vittorio for no reason.
• Alf gave Vittorio “sling yer hook” eyes.
• Everyone started clapping!  No sympathy for the Prince.
• Gina and John saved the day by getting married instead. Eh, don’t you need paperwork down unda?  And WHAT ABOUT BANDICOOT?
• Ruby fell in love with Romeo when she spied him kissing Indi. She is a nutter.
• There were some class shapes thrown at the wedding. Special mentions go to Veej and John.
• Joanna made April go back to Europe with her.
• Nicole confessed to Marilyn that she’s pregnant. Who’re ya having it for? Penn! Oooooh!
• Robert of the House of Robertson rocked up to the wedding and arrested Alf.
• Will stormed off very guiltily.
• Sid looked confused.
• Alf looked stoic.

Was that the most dramatic episode of all time?

Sing hallelujah, Marilyn lives!  And she is a changed woman.  She saw no hint of the afterlife when she was “dead”, so she’s throwing caution to the wind and even eating hospital food.  Unfortunately for her, however, Colleen already watched her deathtape in which Marilyn confessed she and Lancie replaced Colleen’s mother’s ashes with dog remains.  Colleen was ripping.  Hilarity ensued.

Ooh RR finally got some info out of Will; he reckons that Alf killed Penn, having seen him covered in blood in the wee hours of the morning.  High drama!

That must have been the tamest buck’s night of all time.  Vittorio hit the hotspots with Alf, Palmer and Doctor Sid.  Wild.  Then they ran into Irene and Joanna.  While Sid was pulling some smooth shapes on the dancefloor, Irene and Alf had a good oul’ chinwag about what eejits Joanna and Vittorio are.

Meanwhile, at the “informal”, the atmosphere was electric, for a number of reasons.  Bianca and Liam succumbed to the inevitable and had a smooch.  Ruby, while grounded, snuck out and was caught by Charlie at the dance.  Charlie went MENTAL.  Ruby is seriously in the bad books, and Angelo’s not far behind I’d say.  At least the restaurant didn’t get wrecked by all the wayward teens knocking about.

Ruby seems to be falling in love with every dude in sight these days.  I don’t know where the Jackson storyline is going at all, at all.

Finally. Nicole was the winner on the fashion front; her hair was super.  Bianca’s top was pox.