Romances rejigged

Tuesday, August 26th, 2014

It’s all about the romances down Summer Bay way, look at all the recent changes:

  • Chris and Denny broke up
  • Casey and Denny are about to get together
  • Maddie and Josh are surely on the rocks
  • Evelyn will be there to pick up the pieces
  • Nate and Sophie won’t be together too long
  • Hannah might like a go of the doc, or Leah
  • Marilyn and John are trialling Alf’s gaff (and leaving John’s house empty, for some mad reason)

Casey got a punch to the face, courtesy of Chris – that’s one for the Braxton punch count. Denny is too much of a wet blanket for Chris anyhow.

BASH!

BASH!

Roo is back! It took her a while to get her massive dresses through customs, but she’s made it back to the bay safely. Oh my gawdfather!

John likes weak tea, the total weirdo.

 

Braxton punch count: 1

The S Word

Friday, August 1st, 2014

Eh, hello? Is this Home and Away or Fifty Shades of Grey? Did yis hear Andy Barrett boasting about the “amazing sex” he’s having with Hannah? I only wish Alf had been there to hear him.

Pheebs is back, despite Daddy Bigbuck’s best efforts. Coincidentally, the Braxton gaff was wrecked by an unknown and very speedy chap. Kyle gave chase, but ended up on the road in a bloody, bashed, bundle. He did get a good long look at his assailant though.

The other Braxton bros went for a surf.

Blood and sand x 3

Blood and sand x 3

Bianca is still whinging over getting back with Heath and accepting Harley.

Zac and Hannah have agreed to keep their relationship business-like. That is the maddest family ever. Aunt from one side, uncle from the other, and two teenage children. Not to mention the aunt and uncle had a dalliance until Andy “amazing sex” Barrett entered the picture.

Magic beans

Thursday, July 31st, 2014

Chris needs to work on his business sense. He accepted a scratch card from a customer in place of cash, Irene thinks he may have well asked for magic beans. He apologized to Irene and she gave him the scratch card back. He won a cruise but gave it to Irene.

Casey is worried about being home on his own after the drive by, he told all to Denny in the diner. Chris is still a bit paranoid about Denny being mates with Casey so that was why he wouldn’t go on the cruise. He’s going to have a free gaff at Irene’s place but will have to work extra shifts at the diner due to his boss’s holiday. As a result, Denny called over to keep Casey company with pizza in hand. Does anybody in that town ever get sick of pizza? He gave her the eye, definitely something cooking between them.

Jett can’t afford to pay Denny for her work on the boat due to his pay dispute with John. Luckily for him Alf was on hand to offer him a job in the bait shop. He’ll soon be a salty sea dog like Denny and Alf. Marilyn got John & Jett to sit down and discuss their issues with pay, she’d make a good shop steward.

Sasha is annoyed with Matt and they had a row in the diner about who did and didn’t get it. He told her that her face is a complete tool, which didn’t go down well. He stripped off on the beach in front of the whole town, which worked as an apology somehow.

P-A-R-T-A-Y

Tuesday, July 29th, 2014

Maddie decided everyone at school was sad over Tamara leaving (nonsense), so she decided to throw a party. After Alf told her the caravan park was out-of-bounds, Marilyn offered up the surf club as a venue. Josh and Evelyn both declined the invite out of moodiness. Bleedin’ dopes.

Bianca offered to look after Harley until the Braxton shooter was brought to justice. As soon as she was left alone with the bub, though, she nearly had a panic attack. She is the most highly-strung school principal of all-time. She also randomly skips work to mind children. Anyway, all was well as soon as she picked up the baby, who was wearing an amazing hat.

Harley's amazing hat

Harley’s amazing hat

Bye bye Big Daddy

Friday, July 18th, 2014

Phoebe’s da tried to cross the Braxtons, and paid the price big-style. He called the cops to check out the Boyz, but they found nothing and Pheebs was mega-peeved. She said good luck, Da, and don’t let the door hit you on the arse on the way out.

John and Marilyn are obsessed with Jett. He’s off at the Gaeltacht or something.

Maddie did a great workout at Alf’s command.

Does Ricky have a job? Professional troubleshooter?

Chris vs Casey

Tuesday, July 15th, 2014

The battle for Denny’s affections is being won by Casey and Chris isn’t impressed. He tried to win her back with a cake but she had none of it. Then he found her eating a sambo on the beach and attempted to dazzle her with his sandwich knowledge. Chris noticed that she was distracted by a topless Casey surfing so he tried to compete and show his own skills on the waves. Denny was less than impressed with his repeated wipe-outs, Kelly Slater he is not.

Bianca has moved out of Irene’s house after their row and is going to move in with Leah for now. What if she has a row with Leah? She’ll end up living in the caravan park. Heath snubbed her on the beach as he thinks the breakup will be easier if they keep their distance.

Alf is having problems with parenting Maddy, she hasn’t handed in her latest assignment. She stayed in Josh’s van without Alf’s knowledge and he went mental when he found out. He grounded her until she has it completed, this is very similar to when she was rowing with Roo, she’s a handful alright. Is Roo coming back to resume looking after Maddy or is Alf going to be stuck with her forever?

Zac lash

Monday, June 2nd, 2014

No doubt Josh is regretting his “mature” decision to tell Alf he and Maddie were sleeping together. He had to attend TWO interventions in the caravan park, in which Marilyn said sex and Alf nearly said condom. Scarleh for him. The upshot of these excruciating chats is that Josh is allowed to stay over, once everyone is “responsible”. Good euphemism.

Ricky and Brax still weren’t sure whether they were back together, despite having slept together. Luckily, Nate is still hanging around Ricky like a bad smell, which forced her hand. She told Brax she loved him and told Nate to eff off.

Oscar fancies Maddie, and is looking for an opportunity to get rid of that pesky virginity. Zac was slagging him over it, so Hannah decided to be an unbelievable wagon and call him a drunk. The only option was to get a bottle of grog and go on the batter in the principal’s office. Zac has some notions – what’s wrong with a ditch?

Zac on the batter

 

 

TBTG: Home and Away’s Alf never to retire, sez he

Thursday, May 29th, 2014

The Radio Times interviewed Ray Meagher, aka Alf Stewart and found out that he has no intention of going anywhere (ya flamin’ galah). Good news for a rainy Thursday!

Zac off the rails

Monday, May 26th, 2014

Zac is now a daytime-drinking, husband-hitting, colleague-cursing mess. Hannah has threatened to move out, and take the kids with her. Secretly, though, she lurves him and is annoyed that he took it to the next level with Bianca.

Chris, Spencer, Phoebe, Jett, John and Marilyn saved the diner by luring customers in with a master marketing campaign. Which consisted of shouting at people from a boat. Irene was at home with her feet up, but Alf used one of her own phrases agin her to spur her back into action. GET A WRIGGLE ON!

Alf’s aces high

Tuesday, April 1st, 2014

There was a girlie night in aid of Roo at the caravan park. All of the Bay’s female population were there along with Alf who cleaned up at the poker table. Roo was temporarily distracted by the fun but she’s still having a hard time adjusting to his absence.

Harvey is hanging out in John’s house, or should I say hiding out. Spencer went over for a talk, trying to get him to come back to his wife but he wasn’t budging. He wants to leave the Bay but Roo isn’t willing to go. This is an insurmountable problem. She called over to John’s and asked him for a divorce.

Kyle let Tamara off easy for her final shift at Angelo’s. Then he called over to Phoebe’s caravan for a jam and a flirt. He told her he feels he belongs in the Bay and is happy to be a Braxton. He tried to kiss her which caused her to call it a night. What is she up to? I don’t really understand why she is sticking around town, unless it’s just an attempt to win Kyle back.

Sasha has decided she wants to become school captain, it’s a great idea, she is a leader of men and women. I would vote for her. Spencer is going to help, maybe he’ll be her campaign manager/press officer, the Alastair Campbell to her Tony Blair.

bring back miles
Original image from This is Oz



all the dead


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