Indi managed to get over herself and talk to her ma, for Dexter’s sake.  Very progressive of her.  What kind of an accent does Jodi have anyway?  Roo is having problems accepting second best in Sid’s priority list and kicked him to the curb.  Roo doesn’t have much luck in love by all accounts.

Alf is a big cricket legend apparently.  No doubt he was the inspiration for Shane Warne and the Aussie team.

I felt a bit sorry seeing Liam ask Romeo for a job.  He must be desperate.  It’s not that long since Romeo was working for Liam, fixing up his gaff.  How the tables have turned. He is being very helpful and sympathetic to Bianca, she let him stay over.  In fairness, why are herself and April still living with Irene?  It’s about as logical as Charlie and Ruby still living with Leah.

So Leah is knocked up. This is bad news for her for a number of reasons:

• She will now be super-duper flustered for at least nine months / however long a pregnancy lasts in Summer Bay
• The child will probably be as hungry as its father, which means she’ll be bankrupt before the bub is one
• Veej will no doubt have a mickey fit

Romeo’s boat got trashed, so he went off half-cocked, accusing Harvey,a fellow entrepreneur from a neighbouring berth, of doing it in an attempt to sabotage his business. He even phoned the cops. However, it turned out one of the boys at Elijah’s shelter did the nicking. Cue shame-faced Romeo trying to make it up with Harvey. Too late, Smith, for Harvey already reported the Blaxland for not having a mooring licence. But surely Alf can use his influence with the council to get one? No?

Sid and Roo and Indi and Dexter are all best buds now, after doing a bit of farm maintenance. Except this happy family to be rocked by the arrival of Sid’s ex, who Dex invited over.

Dean had an eventful episode. Not only did he run over Bianca, but he fought with Liam, was dobbed in as a serial sex offender by his sister and got arrested by the cops. Xavier should have taken the opportunity to say “I told you so” to his family.  Not often he’s proved right.

Alf tricked Roo and Marilyn in to making dinner. Good trick Alf.  They made loads so he won’t have to do any cooking for a week.  Miles will be happy, expect more scenes where he’s stuffing his face.

Romeo set up his romantic cruise business with some fancy cutlery and lights but made the classic Summer Bay mistake of telling Coleen how well things were going.  Cue a disaster where the borrowed silver was robbed and the boat wrecked. He should have kept his mouth shut.

…but we are doubtful that Heath was the one who “attacked” Bianca. It’ll be some random River Boy who can be easily written off, no?

Also, a few people have been in touch to say Alf is back. Sing hallelujah. Does he has long hair and tattoos after his travels?

Alf is going to be commemorated in wax. Unfortunately you have to go as far as Sydney to get a look at him.

Also, Esther Anderson aka Charlie says her ma fancies Brax.  Ooh-er. Also, she was born in Geelong.

Given the way Marilyn was smothering Nicole she must have felt like saying “I’m on maternity, get me out of here!” She had enough of Marilyn’s schedule and girl’s day in, it was all getting too much. So when Angelo called over to see how she was doing, she took the opportunity to bail. Out of there like she stole something.

The two mates went down to the pier to see Romeo cleaning Alf’s boat. They begged the young layabout to let them on board and take the Blaxland out for a cruise. He relented, theft of property is no big deal when you have an ex YCPD Sergeant on board.

Angelo suggested Romeo start taking the boat out for charter cruises, like Hugo used to do. Maybe Romeo will get into people smuggling too. It would probably be more profitable that his surf school which isn’t going too well so far. He didn’t seem too impressed when the redhead boy turned up for his first lesson. IS he trying to say redheads can’t surf?

Not since the hazy, lazy, crazy days of Johnny and Rocco has the Bay seen a band of boys so goddamn bad.  These hombres are really shaking up the town. They must have heard that Alf was off globetrotting, and in they swooped. Colleen has the measure of them, shrieking “Hooligans” every chance she gets.

Been spending most my life, living in a Gangsta’s Paradise.  So says Casey, the newest addition to Summer Bay High. He’s already mates with Romeo, who no doubt will be easily led astray. I’m just waiting for Coolio to show up.

Elijah’s on the way back from “Africa”. He’s got news. Colleen’s convinced Leah he’s coming back to sweep her off her feet. I bet he’s got a new sheila.

Don’t leave us, Mr. Stewart! Who’ll keep Palmer under control? Who’ll provide bait for the fishermen of Australia? Who’ll sort the galahs from the flamin’ idiots? This is gonna be a shambles.

Xave nearly died in that episode, with Gina and April looking on. Doctor Sid saved the day though. That’ll teach the kids to mix toxic chemicals in the sink.

Ooh, Nicole got seduced by the glamour of college life.  She even met a nice boy at her very first college party.  Sweet.  Pity she’s up the duff.

Dr. Sid and Marilyn have agreed to look into other options, in case Nicole sees the chisler and wants it for her very own.  Sensible.  However, when they told Nicole, she threw a mickeyfit.  This storyline will probably swing back and forth until she has the baby.

I forgot that Morag and Marilyn are mates.  Flathead pointed out that Marilyn used to be Morag’s housekeeper, but that’s long before my H&A time.

Alf handed over control of the Surf Club to JP.  He’s taking some me time.  I bet he goes to visit Sally/be in a West End show.

Well, Alf is out and he’s ready for a scrap.  He’s raging against the changes made to the surf club in his absence by the original JP.  Personally, I don’t think they’re too outrageous.  Paying for parking after four hours is fair enough.  How could you spend four solid hours in the surf club anyway?

Despite his new-found vigour, Alf has also emerged as the most forgiving man in all Australia.  First he had a chinwag to Irene, who was ready to see him locked away for life.  Then he hightailed it down to the cop shop for a tete-a-tete with Will, even convincing him to speak to Lilly before he went down.

Will turned out to be a bit of a tragic figure.  He’s off to jail and for a long time, be the sound of it.  I’m living for the day when Gypsy shows up.

Lilly seemed happy enough with her da’s explanation of what happened.  So much so that she gave Veej his first kiss.  Cute!

Morag and Colleen deserve their own spin-off show.  Their repartee is delicious.