I had suspected that Charlie might go out with a bang but that wasn’t what I was expecting. Who the hell was that? Was it Jake’s brother? Poor Charlie, 2 bullets to the chest, no way she could survive that in the real world . If only there were an amazing surgeon-pediatrician-MD-psychiatrist-nurse-ambo around to perform a life saving operation. Unfortunately for Charlie, the only one of those is banged up for bashing Stew.

Ever since Nicole left town, there’s been an absence of promiscuity. Maybe April is auditioning for the new Nicole. She’s following in a long line of good girls gone bad stretching back to Selina via Martha and Nicole along the way. April was going to do her best to take it to the next level and it didn’t matter who it was with, even her sister’s ex. She and Heath went straight from level zero to all the way. She was thrilled when she woke up next to him the following morning. Seeing him hop out the window made me nostalgic for the glory days of Belle and Aden. Bianca is going to flip when she finds out, that would be a mighty bombshell to blow up on her wedding day.

Help us solve this mystery, where did the chlamydia originate? Have we left someone out?

Edit: it doesn’t matter, Ruby doesn’t have chlamydia, so the buck stops with Emily.

Well, we asked and you answered. Unsurprisingly, the most popular person in the Bay is none other than everyone’s favourite galah, Mr. Alf Stewart.

There were some surprises though. For example, Aden and Belle made the top ten. I’d say it was on account of their ridiness. Belle in particular was a bit moany, no?

The no-voters were Brodie, Shelley, Rebecca, Jade, Max, Rachel, Hyde, Roxy, Saul.

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Well Hugo is back big-stylee now.  Martha took him straight back into her arms without a word about his people-smuggling.  At least Gina gave him a dressing-down for being a massive criminal.

The Austins are surprisingly adept at fobbing off the bobbies.  Love how Xavier said “It’s the cops” when Angelo and Charlie came to the door, as if he’d never met them before.   Anyway Gina cranked up her headmistress skills and YCPD were slinking out with their tails between their legs.

Gina was nice to Miles, though, even if she was delivering the bad news that he might not get his job back at the school.  Bet he doesn’t think Rabbit was so deadly now.

Apparently Aden has left.  I totally missed that; I must have been making a cup of tea or something.  The exits are very swift these days.  Nicole is totally over it though, Liam Murphy sorted her out with some bonza advice.  By the by, they now have a ping-pong table in the caravan park.  Bounce.

What a dramatic few days in Summer Bay.  Rabbit helped Miles rescue Leah, Elijah, and a rake of kids from being gassed on their school trip.  Somehow this meant that it was time for Rabbit to leave.  So she headed off with her ma down the beach.  Poor Miles was in bits over it.  There was no explanation of Rabbit’s psychic powers though.  I think we should put this in the Alf-as-aborigine box and accept we’ll never know the answer.

Nicole, being egged on by Justin, broke up with Aden as he wouldn’t say he loved her.  So he went off into the wide blue yonder with Justin.  No doubt he’ll join the army too.

Hugo’s back.  Martha decided everyone should know that he is in witness protection so she told Xavier and then went down the diner to tell everyone else.  She did it in the same room as Colleen; she must have the memory of a goldfish.  Anyway then Xavier told Ruby, and later met Hugo on a random road in the Bay.  Hugo was sporting some fine stubble and hiding under a hat.  The bad guys will never look there.

“I’m no lawyer love, but it seems to me that Aden’s in a bit of strife”, proclaimed Alf to Nicole when discussing her boyfriend’s upcoming murder charge. He may not have his sister’s law skills but he has her whipped when it comes to understatements.

It was a day of revelations in the Bay. Firstly, we had both Aden and his brother Justin trying to take the wrap for burying the Dad’s body affair. Each one is trying to keep the other one out of it but ultimately they’ll be found out.  Sure lies never last long in the Bay.

Then we had Alf and Angelo get sprung talking about Hugo in front of Martha.  If braindead super sleuth Martha can figure out that you’re keeping secrets then you’re really in trouble.  Hugo’s cover will be blown in no time once Martha finds out the truth.  I hope his witness protection scheme is better than Vinny’s: a farm worker who moonlighted as a teddy bear at children’s parties and died from sceptic wounds, suffered in a farming accident.  You couldn’t make it up.

I don’t really understand why she’s upset about his death again now.  It’s like she forgot about him for a few months then remembered who he was all of a sudden.  Didn’t they break up before he “died” anyway?

Well flip me, Miles is telling all and sundry about Rabbit now.  Gina confronted him and he was all “yeah, I talk to imaginary people, DEAL WITH IT”.  Bleedin’ double mentaller.

What else?  Oh yes, Aden dobbed himself in re: burying and unburying the da.  He’s saying Dumbro had nothing to do with it though.  Snooooooooooze.

Aden and Justin, his brother with the dopey voice, decided to continue their midnight escapades by returning to the scene of the crime, the spot where they buried their dad. Charlie knows something is up and is on the case, searching hard to find some clues as to what happened to Mr. Jeffries. But she was a little too slow here as the amateur undertakers found the body and got out of there before the YCPD could track them down. Another victory for the boys and girls in blue.

Justin had a heart to heart with Nicole and told him that Aden should join the army to sort his life out.  He’s said this a few times but never really explained why his thinks a military life would be the solution to Aden’s problems.  He expected Nicole to understand as her own dad, the much missed Roman, was in the SAS, but she seemed as confused as I am as to why it’s a good plan.

Ah here.  H&A is way too sad these days.  First was the whole Miles/Rabbit scenario, and now today Leah and VJ visited Vinnie’s grave to say goodbye.  That’s enough sadness now, I thought.

Elijah didn’t think so, though.  He threw in a tragic story about his dad dying on a fishing trip.  I’m not able for this.

Aden’s stupid brother had a flashback and now thinks he killed their da.  It looks to me like the dad was drink-driving and had a crash.  If only they hadn’t buried him, they’d be ok with the cops.

Romeo set up a romantic date with Annie in the gym.  Possibly inspired by Ruby’s seduction of Geoff using fairy lights, he lit a load of candles.  The Campbells are suckers for small light sources.