In grand oul Summer Bay tradition, Elijah tells Leah he’s leaving, on his leaving day. Like so many before him, (Geoff, Annie, and so on) the Rev is only dying to get out of town. He’s going to Another Parish. He had a hooley on the beach before he left, and cleared up any stray plotlines while he was at it. See ya later, Rev.

Leah told Brax a barefaced lie when she said she wasn’t interested in him. The truth will come out in the wash.

Liam went MENTILE at Eddie and smashed his guitar. All because Eddie nicked Liam’s lyrics. Fair enough, I thought. The bauld Eddie is denying all culpability, however. What’s that about? What is he playing at? Is he someone’s long-lost relative or something?

April caught Casey and Henri having a secret after-hours pash in Angelo’s. Knowing her capacity for keeping secrets, the whole Bay will know before long.

Sasha the Bashed Basha is going on trial “tomorrow”. This will be good. I hope Morag features heavily.

Brax spent most of the episode putting out fires. First he had the issue of fighting among his staff. Liam and Heath engaged in fisticuffs twice in the space of a few minutes. Heath keeps goading Liam about Bianca and the baby and Liam keeps rising to the bait. Brax had a chat with his misguided bro and tried to get him to cop on but I doubt it will do much good. I can’t see how the two of them can continue to work in the same restaurant which will be a problem for Liam, there aren’t many other employers in the Bay for a man his age. Police/Healthcare worker are about all that’s left considering that he’s already been fired from a school teacher’s job.

Brax’s next problem was dealing with Leah. Once Elijah told him that Leah was in love with him, Brax went cold on them spending time together. He let her know about it too, telling her that there couldn’t be any more calling around or cooking dinner. Leah is going to freak out when she finds out it was Elijah who spilled the beans.

VJ was the final problem for Brax. At first, he decided that an embargo was the best solution which meant an end to fixing the bike. Veej didn’t take the news very well and went on the rampage, knocking over bins and skulling cans with the boys on the beach. Brax relented and said they could rekindle their bike building but it’ll be difficult until the Leah matter is resolved. Meanwhile poor VJ is stuck in the middle. I hope he doesn’t get anymore bad news, he’s likely to take over the river boys and go on a crime spree Johnny Cooper would be proud of.

I think that Brax got an Irish tattoo. He was driven to it when Veeeej asked “you loved Charlie, didn’t you?”. Perhaps the bauld River Boy was afraid he was forgetting his lady love, and got the tattoo to remind him.

Elijah, like a dickhead, called around to Brax’s, to tell him Leah is in love with him. Sly one, Rev.

In other couple-y news, Gina is taking the opportunity to lay down some ground rules with John, and Roo is trying to be more romantic with Harvey. Yay and puke, respectively.

Do you think we should call Harvey and Roo, Hoo, or Rarvey?

Leah gave Brax a proper serv in the diner. She is totally obsessed with Brax and she reckons that Veej idolises Brax, dum move Vj. Brax came up with a great plan to get them both working on fixing up Heath’s old trail bike. They’ll be spending afternoon’s fixing up “carbies” from now on. Veej must be very confused, he has a different male role model hanging around with his mother every few months.

Ruby has some interest from a new surfer dude, Steve, from the circuit. She’s pretending to playing it cool, but is secretly kissing him on the sly. Romeo is a bit suss, reckons that Steve could be a stoner or a drug dealer. There hasn’t been a stoner in the Bay since James smoked his way around town. Ruby is loving her new smart phone and spent most of the episode playing with it. She was staring at photos of Romeo on it when nobody else was around. All of this makes Indi look a bit of a fool as she was saying it’s great that she can trust Ruby again now. That mightn’t last.

Gina and John got back together. He moved out of Summer Bay house, which prompted his housemates to celebrate with champagne. Was he really that bad a guest?

Marilyn and Roo staged an intervention for John. He’s too slovenly for their tastes. He said Gina didn’t have a problem with it and threw out the dinner he’d prepared. Wasteful. Later, he overhead Roo telling Dumb Harvey that Gina was actually sick of John’s habits. Poor Mr. JP.

Veej is trying to join the River Boys. The younger members made him carry out some stupid pranks, until Brax, newly released from hospital, caught him and put a stop to it. Veej was arrested for vandalising a police car. Sergeant Watson put manners on him.

Casey hung around Henri’s back garden while she entertained a tipsy Gina. Henri could do with buying some thick curtains, if she’s to continue sleeping with a student.

April got served by Liam on the beach. She’s also in deep doo-doo with Bianca. So she went straight to Dex, to cry on his shoulder. Poor Dex, he’s a bit of a doormat, he puts up with everybody’s crap. Then he had to try and act normal while April paraded around the farm in front of him wearing one of his t-shirts. I don’t know how he managed to contain himself.

Casey was up to his old tricks with Henry. He called over for a “tutoring session” but hid in the bedroom when Heath called over. Why did he hide? Why not say he was there for tutoring? Then they got a little pash in after class, living dangerously.

Liam and Bianca made an adult decision, they are going to move out and get a place for themselves, or are they? That was what I assumed when they said they were thinking of leaving Irene’s house, but it turns out they just moved into Leah’s instead. Why can’t they afford their own place? It makes no sense.

Well, Liam found out that Heath knows about the baby, so he’s mad at Bianca, and so Bianca’s mad at April and never wants to see her again. However, Liam knew Bianca had slept with Heath when he married her, so he should just effin’ get over it. They could have one of these new-fangled families, with multiple daddies, one of whom slept with Bianca and her sister. They could have awkward Christmasses and Anzac Days from here to eternity. Plus, why are they all still living with Irene? Maybe Heath and Darcy could move in and complete the set.

Ma Stu admitted to poisoning Da Stu. She’s not a bad egg. She told Sid where the book of shame was, and he went to her very badly secured house and got it. Drama over for Sasha. Will she still go to trial or what?

Drum roll please………it’s Harvey!

Not surprising really as he is a constant annoyance in the diner, and in the caravan park, and on the council. From whence did he come, anyway? Harvey started his Summer Bay existence as Romeo’s boat buddy, and later, boat rival. He ran for public office to get one up on Alf when Mr. Stewart wouldn’t sell him his beloved Blaxland. The thing is, he won, and now we’re stuck with him. Not only that, but Roo seems to be falling for the flamin’ galah.

The next three dickheads in descending order are April, Elijah and Leah. April has turned into a completely different person, ever since she decided to take it to the next level with whichever “gent” came along next. Unfortunately for all of us, that gent was Heath “Grenade” Braxton.

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So Sasha’s break-in didn’t go off as planned. In fact, she drew Ma Stu’s attention to the incriminating inscription. Duh.

Ma Stu is poisoning Da Stu, on account of him being a basher. Now Dr. Sid knows, and reported her to Watson and her boys in blue. Oooh Ma Stu.

Indi and Romeo have made up despite their dalliances (or not) with the opposite sex. They admitted to each that their marriage was a mistake. Double Duh.

In real-life news, I am getting a “Let’s die for love, you go first” tattoo.

Stu’s mum isn’t a big fan of Sid. She’s blaming him for the fact that her fella came into the hospital with heart trouble. The above quote was how she thanked him for saving his life.

Sid recomended to Indi that she talk to Romeo before jumping to any conculusions.Silly Sid, where did logic ever get anybody?

Indi and Romeo had a good diner based showdown followed by a blue on the beach. She doesn’t trust him even though he insists nothing happened. Romeo should really steer clear of Ruby for a while, even though he is innocent of what she claims he did.

Sasha and Xavier were worried about her impending murder trial. She left an incriminating note in Stu’s gaff and wanted to break in and get it. Even Xavier knew that a stupid idea and told her so. Silly Sasha went anyway and broke in when nobody answered the door, then hid under the bed when Ma Stu returned. Unsurprisingly, she got caught red handed trying to sneak out. This won’t look well in court.