“Hoo-roo!”, said Gina, as Henri set off for Casey’s house. What a wonderful expression.

Gina has lovely sunglasses. Also, she’s still v. cross with John. It’s quite entertaining. Sasha and Xavier engineered a dinner so that John and Gina would talk. It backfired.

Casey looks at Henri as if he wants to lick her. The cat is practically lepping out of that bag. She’s called it off (again).

Indi’s uni mate has a handsome, rich brother. Her husband is out of town with his ex-lover. It’s like something out of Mills and Boon. Indi went to surfertown and saw Ruby in what she thought was Romeo’s bed. Ruby talked Romeo out of going after Indi and he stupidly agreed. DICKHEAD.

Hot:

• Dex’s bicycle t-shirt
• April’s study outfit

Not:

• Roo’s volumous tent dresses
• Bianca’s weird pink and black top – strange

Bianca lost it with April after Heath confronted her about the baby.  She went down to the beach for a mope and Dex found her there. Dex as ever has let bygones be bygones with April and wants to be mates with her again.

Casey come up with a genius plan of dropping out of school so he could be with Henri.  Clever boy.  But it worked out pretty well for him in the end, he went back to school, Henri is going to be his tutor again and he got to kiss her too.  Why didn’t she just say “wait until after your exams”? Far too sensible for a summer bay storyline.

I don’t know why we’re running that poll to the right, because April has just revealed herself to be the Bay’s biggest dickhead. Hurray! She told Heath that Bianca’s baby is his, proving that she can keep a secret for a maximum of two days. Sure when the baby was born, it would have had a grenade tattoo and then everyone would know anyway.

Darcy made an appearance in that episode, serving her purpose as proof of Heath’s dad skillz.

Not to immediately go back on my word, but maybe April’s not the biggest dickhead in the Bay – Roo and Harvey did firm up their relationship and two dickheads are worse than one.

Leah is still in the running as well, having enveloped Brax in her warm embrace and causing him, in his brain-damaged state, to bolt from her house. Brax is scared of GhostCharlie and doesn’t want to return to the hospital. Doesn’t he know that ghosts are everywhere in Summer Bay, even in fridges?

Maybe we’ll leave this one to the poll after all. Make sure to have your say! viagra

It was good to see Roo tell Leah some home truths. What the hell was she doing in the hospital all night, pining over Brax like a lovesick puppy?  Does she not have a son at home who needs looking after? Does VJ not get sick of his mother having a new boyfriend/flirt friend every ten minutes?

Heath found out that Sully was the one who bashed Brax. Genius that he is, Heath decided that he would mastermind the reprisal and got the boys together. Unsurprisingly, it didn’t go as planned. Sully took Bianca hostage on a cliff top and negotiated his way to freedom. Heath returned to Brax and said “I know, I stuffed up”. Maybe he should get a tattoo with that on it.

April thinks that Heath deserves to find out that he’s the baby’s father, Bianca disagrees but the cat never stays in the bag for long in the Bay. Heath will find out about the baby and try to get break up the newlyweds. Rock star or river boy? Hard choice.

There were a lot of dickheads in tonight’s episode. Let us discuss:

1. Harvey. He’s always been one, in fairness. Points for consistency.
2. Roo. Sniffing around a dickhead makes her a dickhead by association. Also, the stupid jealousy-game-thing.
3. Romeo. For running out on a romantic night with the wife, in order to check on Ruby. I actually think Romeo is a bit simple. Did he ever heard of an invention called the phone, I wonder?
4. Indi. For not shouting at Romeo.
5. Brax. For having a blood and sand tattoo and also for fighting while concussed. It was impressive that he still won, though.
6. Leah. For being interested in Brax. He is a fool and not even nice to her. FOR SHAME, LEAH.

At least we have John Palmer.

Bianca told Liam that Heath’s the baby-daddy; Liam stormed off. He’s on for bringing up baby, but only if no-one finds out. Wonder how long that will stay a secret…

Irene had a birthday party; she is grateful for her mates. She shared her present with Eddie; Liam’s not impressed.

Ruby got 250,000 dollahs from Charlie’s estate, but it upset her.

Indi wore a thing on the beach that only covered one boob.

Harvey and Roo are trying to make each other jealous by going on dates with other people.

Brax got a cricket bat to the head while totting up the till. The assailant’s identity is a mystery.

Henri said she can’t tutor Casey after he revealed that he has the hots for her.  Heath found out about it and slagged his brother about his crush. Casey wasn’t impressed, understandably.  He confronted Henri and she didn’t deny that she had feelings for him but told him to keep his distance. The poor woman is helpless when it comes to advances from a Braxton.

There was a beachside Braxton bashathon when Casey told Heath how much of a classless goon he had been, getting with April, to try and get back at Bianca. Casey subsequently went over to Henri’s gaff with his busted nose. She felt sorry for him and didn’t push him away when he slipped her the tongue. Braxton charms work once again.

Why does April never eat anything? She always seems to be turning down food from Irene or Bianca. Stupid Bianca didn’t cop on that it was Irene’s birthday. Bianca is a selfish fool. She never thinks of anyone bar herself.  Still don’t know why herself and Liam are living with Irene. Can’t they afford their own place? One thing she has picked up while lodging in the beach house, is how to do a canny impression of Irene.

She took April to her baby scan aas Liam couldn’t make it. The doctor told her that she was more pregnant than she thought, which means that the baby is Heath’s not Liam’s. How is she going to tell him? It’ll surely send him back off the rails, he’ll be the local junkie again in no time.

Poor Sasha. She must have thought her bashee days were behind her, once she offed Stu. However, the young ladies of Summer Bay High had different ideas, and laid into her. One of them stupidly recorded it on their phone. Dex made her tell Sid, who immediately went into Angry Dad mode. Gina found out it was Kristie, and gave her the third degree. Kristie wears too much eyeliner and now is being expelled. Sasha can wear her fingerless gloves in peace.

Stu’s basher dad is in hospital. He had a heart attack, and Sid saved him. They’re best buds now, so Sid got his job back. Heart attacks must turn people sound.

Casey and Henri are flirting, which made me question: has any lucky lady scored the Braxton hat-trick? The younger brother Braxton was unimpressed when April told him that Henri and The Fool took it to the next level. Cue crap brotherly shoving on the beach.

Casey does a fabulous confused face.

There are a load of dickheads coming out of the woodwork at Summer Bay High, one of whom gave Sasha a fierce kick to the ankle. There’s also a strange nervy girl who seems scared of everything, who will probably dob the bullies in eventually.

Sasha received a load of emails with “Killer” in the subject line. Once she gets the all-clear from the YCPD, she should start threatening them all and playing up to that nickname.  Apparently everyone loved Stu and now they’re very angry that he’s gone.

Gina was on the verge of making up with John when she saw Darryl “Brax” Braxton giving him money. Dammit.

Indi and Romeo managed to repair their relationship though. I hope Romeo can control himself at the surf comp. Ruby is pretty alluring with her crazy hair and clothes.

Where the eff are the rest of the Boys? There used to be a load of them knocking about on the beach and in the surf club. Now it’s just the Braxtons.

Irene has a new singing teacher called Eddie. He’s a gas man. His classes go from breakfast till lunch, and extend to the diner. He told Liam there’s a fire burning inside him, and that he is going to make it in the music business. He also likes strawberries on his pancakes.

April is an actual simpleton. She told Heath she loves him, and thought he had booked them a night away. Good Jaysus. Henri sabotaged the romantic getaway, but no doubt April will forgive Heath once again.