Archive for the ‘Quotes’ Category

BREAKING: “Stone the flamin’ crows” actual saying

Monday, March 11th, 2013

According to Ray Meagher anyway.

Irish in the Bay alert!

Thursday, November 1st, 2012

There’s going to be an Irish girl in Home and Away.

But, what’s more, she’s engaged to real-life Kane!


And…she’s gone

Monday, June 25th, 2012

Well, that’s that. For a moment, there was a glimmer of hope that Colleen might not jet off to Las Vegas, but in the end, she went. John Palmer made sure to get a squeeze before she departed. Alf sent an email that tugged at the heartstrings terribly. Even Morag showed up. Farewell, Miss Groper! We’ll never see her likes again.


Things in the Bay continued as normal after Mrs. Smart left. Jet is still nicking stuff, i.e. Indi’s purse, Gina is still on the case and Xavier had a go as well. All is not well in the Jet household. Poor oul’ Ma Jet is on the way out, by the look of her.

Heath snuck in April’s bedroom window again, but not for a bit of boldness this time. Instead, he built the cot that Bianca had bought for the bub. Ahhh. Breaking, entering and flat-packing. He may hold his horses though, because Bianca went to the hospital in a panic shortly afterwards. Uh-oh. As Kane once said, “If anything happens to the bay-bee…..”!

Mr. Townsend is still getting a rise out of poor Casey. Gina’s well and truly on the Braxton side though. I love Mr. Townsend. He only has one mood, and here it is:

Mr. Townsend on a good day


Irene advises Will

Monday, January 24th, 2011

“You made mistakes, big deal, you’re not Robinson Crusoe”. What? Can anyone explain what Irene was on about?

Alf doubts Roo

Tuesday, January 18th, 2011

“Oh come off it love, I didn’t fall off the back of a turnip truck.” He never disappoints.

Eating everything

Thursday, September 16th, 2010

In that episode, Miles strolled into the diner, and, on not being attended to immediately, shouted “I’m eating everything”, in the vain hope of rousing some service. However, eating everything is his default position, so no-one batted an eyelid. Plus, Leah was lying face-down in the kitchen. AND she wrecked a load of eggs. Turns out she’s working too hard.

I hope Mr. Risotto takes heed. He is working in Angelo’s day and night, and Officer Buxton is not impressed. In fairness, the restaurant is only open about three days. No wonder he’s keeping an eye on things.

Lastly, Romeo and Indigo smooched. Never saw that one coming. Mwah!

Let’s write our own episode

Tuesday, August 3rd, 2010

Right, Home and Away is on a wee break.  I think the only course of action is to write our own episode.

I’ll start:




CLOSE-UP: Alf Stewart

ALF (calling)

Hello?  Hello?  Strewth, there’s never anyone around when you flamin’ need them.


MILES (mumbling with mouth full of food)

Oh, Alf, what’s with all the commotion?

ALF (hurriedly)

You’ll never flamin’ guess what’s just happened down at the bait shop, come and help or I’ll tan your backside!


Over to you, there.

Doing it tough

Wednesday, October 21st, 2009

“Doing it tough” is the current phrase du jour in Summer Bay, and with good reason.

  • Aden’s still doing it tough due to Belle’s death.  Surprisingly he didn’t get over it in a week.  I think the Summer Bay time warp is weakening.
  • Sid is doing it tough trying to ward off Nicole.
  • Charlie’s doing it tough trying to nail Grant for every rape in Oz.
  • Jai is doing it tough because he can’t get his hands on Annie.
  • Ruby’s doing it tough because she can’t decide between Xavier and Geoff.
  • Widower dude’s doing it tough because he has a baby and no wife to help with the childrearing.  Rachel or Leah will sort that out for him.
  • Hugo and Confused Martha are doing it tough because the authorities don’t like their shipwreck idea.
  • Kirsty and Miles are doing it tough because they’re having a babog and only one of them is bothered with it.

Brendan is the only one having any craic; I wonder what Ruby II was wearing when he was talking to her?

Gawd Save Ireland

Thursday, September 24th, 2009

It’s a badly-kept secret that Irene feels a great affinity with our fair isle. So we decided to celebrate it in t-shirt form. Now you can pray along with Irene, or just show your support for eh, her support.

Apparently the phrase “God save Ireland” comes from a rebel song. Home and Away is so educational.

Have you got rocks in your head?

Thursday, September 3rd, 2009

Lynne truly has some classic lines. Anytime someone goes a bit daft, she’s enquiring about the contents of their skull. Personally, I think there are a few pebbles rattling around in her noggin, as she would say herself. The reason being that her hair is nuts. It hasn’t been the same since she got out of jail. It’s like she tried to curl her hair but failed. Buy that woman a GHD, someone.

bring back miles
Original image from This is Oz

all the dead

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