Heath told Bianca she was doing his head in, because she had a mickeyfit when he proposed. You and me both, Heath old boy.

Heath is so easily led, though, that he’ll soon come around to Bianca’s way of thinking. It only took Celia 10 minutes to brainwash him. He’s so angry and simple.

There’s no room for April in Irene’s; she’ll have to head off into the wide blue yonder and become a doctor. You can’t really stay in the Bay once you go to Uni. Indi manages it, but she barely goes, she’s far too busy working in the diner Angelo’s. Dani had a few Uni scenes, but took off shortly afterwards. Countless others have just disappeared into the arms of education.

Roo is being extra-extra weird around Maddie and Spencer. What’s it all about, Harvey?

Do you think we will ever see Lottie again? Maybe she died of those measles/chickenpox.

Celia is back in the Bay to stay; she was conned by some handsome divil and has nowhere else to go. So, she got a job down the diner, where she promptly irritated Irene to the point where she nearly said “Gawd save Ireland”. Marilyn was supposed to give Celia the boot, but couldn’t bring herself to do it.

Spencer had a chat to Roo and told her his and Maddie’s parents are brown bread. So they’ll be hanging around the Bay, sleeping in boats and such. Are they really brother and sister, or is it a Shannon and Curtis situation? Either way, Roo wants to adopt them, so they’ll be enrolling in SBH any second.

Jett is back on the Veej-hunt. He tackled Liam about it, and Liam roared at him. Then Indi consoled him. Now Jett 4 Indi 4 eva.

We all know by now that Kate Ritchie, aka Sally, is coming back to the Bay. What I want to know is:

• Will young Pippa come with her?
• How is Cassie getting on with the oul HIV?
• What age is Cassie’s baby?
• Is Miles still deadly?
• Is Miles still eating everything?

I bet if she tried really hard, she could bag herself a River Boy!

Oi.

Even when someone is doing Haaaavey a favour, he’s a moany waste of space. Now his “mate” Winston has kidnapped him, as part of a buck’s night caper. Hope they don’t accidentally drive off Stewart’s Point…(fingers crossed)!

Jamie is still hanging around, being weird. He is pretending to be Veej on iChat, so Jett will get Leah’s location out of Liam. Phew. Good continuation of storyline, in fairness.

Marilyn hasn’t organised Roo’s hen; she totally forgot. Bet ten million euros they go to Angelo’s.

Lisa exited stage left. She told Sid she will break up with Neil, but wants to put some distance between herself and the Walkers first. Looks like Dex will be getting a new physio.

Did yis hear Sally’s coming back?

We watched two episodes in a row there. Two DEADLY episodes.

Creepy Jamie sent Leah a picture of herself sleeping; she went nuts so Liam got the Guards. The worst cop of all time showed up to investigate. He basically told Leah he didn’t believe her, and it was her own fault for sleeping with Jamie. Come back Jack, all is forgiven.

So, Leah and Veej shipped out, they’re going on an extended holiday. It seems if your soap-ma gets pregnant, it means no wages for you while she’s on maternity leave. No wonder Veej wants to stay in the Bay with his mates.

Casey’s trial is in full swing. He had a panic attack at the start, but Kyle and Tamara saved the day by sticking up for him. Kyle obvs wants to be one of The Boize.

However, things took a nosedive when Nosey Nat took the stand. She revealed Casey’s anger management problems, so now his chances of freedom look slim.

The prosecution missed a trick not getting Angry Teacher to take the stand.

Lisa’s husband is looking for her; he’s locked Indi in Angelo’s. There are too many creepy weirdos in the Bay at the moment.

Marilyn is dying to be Roo’s maid of honour, while Harvey has no mates to be groomsmen. He’ll probably ask his sworn enemy, Romeo.

Lisa turned up to Sid’s house, fully bashed. If I were Sid I would have set Sasha “Killer” Walker on Lisa’s husband. All Lisa got was a chat from Sasha; she’s very wise.

Sasha went a bit mad  with jealousy when she heard about Casey’s imaginary friend, Tamara. I’m not so sure she was imaginary. However, her jealousy was explained when she confessed to Natalie that she might be pregnant! That’s right, in the grand old tradition of Summer Bay teenage pregnancies, following in the footsteps of Roo, Sophie, Angel, Chloe, Tasha, Kirsty, Cassie and Nicole, Sasha is up the duff. Hurray for another River Baby.

Oi.

So, Romeo and Heath are heading this way next. I hope Ruby’s coming too, I’d be interested to see how her hair turned out.

Bet Brax was singing our praises.

http://thedailyedge.thejournal.ie/romeo-heath-home-and-away-ireland-750393-Jan2013/

P.S. April’s coming too!

Poor Baby Rocco; he didn’t even live long enough to get his first tattoo. His parents are understandably shaken up; I predict a breakup and a return to bad-boy form for Heath.

Brax decided not to tell Casey about Rocco’s demise. He reckons Casey has plenty on his plate, he’s in hospital and the police want to arrest him for breaking bail. An unidentified cop (where’s Watson?) was very skeptical of Brax’s tale of kidnap and rescue. Natalie soon corroborated his story though. That was her last act of girlfriendliness, however, as she broke it off with Brax. Her reasons were that she didn’t want to deal with all the shootings, kidnappings, and general life in the Braxton clan. If only Charlie had been so sensible.

Gina is up in arms against Marilyn, for seducing John. The only thing is that Marilyn didn’t do it. She can’t help it if her bouffant hair and friendly ways attract the menfolk. Roo put Gina straight so hopefully she and Marilyn can be friends again.

As Alf pointed out, John has a lot to answer for when he returns to the Bay.

Esther Anderson has confirmed that Charlie’s coming back for a few episodes. It can only be in the form of a ghost, flashback, or fridge apparition.

All of the Stewarts are outraged at the news that Harvey slept with Mel. Alf was in a great mood as the fishing was good, but this update ruined his day. Roo was so out of sorts that she put on a horrible top instead of a massive dress. Harvey had the audacity to blame Roo’s contact with Tim as an excuse for his indiscretion. Not really the road to forgiveness, Harvey me dear.

Casey and Sasha went to the next level in the woods, even though there were no fairy lights there. Then Casey fell silent. Sasha is rightly annoyed and feels used. Indi and Brax are in on it now, so Casey is in for a mega-nagging.

Dex played the martyr by telling April to leave him. Surely he’ll be fine in a month? If not, he’ll be shipped off to the Whitsundays, pronto. I wonder how Sebastian is getting on there?