It was a fairly eventful night in Summer bay what with Bianca’s hen and Liam’s stag. Liam asked Romeo to be his best man which seemed surprising but he doesn’t really have any other friends so it was the only option. Bianca is asking April to be her maid of honour which is fair enough but surprising in the fact it was such an orthodox choice. At her last engagement party she asked Charlie to be her MOH. Given that they had only known each other for about a week, I expected her to ask somebody she’d just met, like the new teacher Henry.

Bianca had her hen’s night in Irene’s house which seemed a strange choice, but there are only so many available venues in the bay. It was all going well when Roo suggested they turf the contents of each other’s bags on the floor. Messy. Then a stripper dressed as a Firie turned up only to leg it when he saw Bianca and Gina there. It turned out he was a ex-Summer-Bay-High student. They didn’t seem too bothered by alumni working as stippers.

Liam’s bash was on in Angelo’s courtesy of Brax. Heath turned up at the bucks night with the rest of the boys. Where were the boys when he was getting intimidated by Geoffrey King? Conspicuous by their absence. Geoffrey is leaving Brax alone now as Leah paid him off. Now Brax owes Leah $25k, all thanks to Heath. He would have been better off paying his brother the money to leave town, then he’d stop costing him money. How long will it be before Brax comes out of mourning and he starts getting it on with Leah?

There’s a new teach in town, to go with the new school. Turns out she’s an old flame of Heath’s and was quite the wild child in her schooldays. Henri (for that is her name) has already bonded with Bianca and hooned with Heath. April is not impressed. She engineered a study session around at the Braxeses, and showed up with the girls noticeably on show. Unfortunately Henri showed up before Heath was seduced.

Brax spent most of that episode drinking. Leah gave him a talking-to and basically said WWCD (what would Charlie do). She also moved a bottle of whiskey to the other end of the table, making it slightly more difficult for Brax to get battered. Good move. Brax came to his senses, invited Geoffrey over, did some panting, and told the gangsta he’d have to shoot him to get his hands on Angelo’s. And gave him a gun. Not such a good move.

Weirdly, Sasha got her da to tell Gina to tell Xavier to keep away. Something’s not right there. Also, Sasha is permanently wearing gloves.

What happened there? The short answer is not very much. Here are the bullet points:

• Sid is struggling to cope with the fact that Dex doesn’t know what to do with his life and doesn’t want to follow in his footsteps but wants to be a nurse instead.
• Irene collapsed in the hospital. She’s still feeling crook but it was only indigestion this time.
• Xav admitted to Gina that he has the hots for Sash. He went for a pash on the beech but was knocked back. She promptly told him to keep his distance as she’s toxic.
• Romeo hates his job working for Denis but is afraid to tell Indi. Turns out he’s decent at it despite himself and sold 5 apartments.
• Harvey is causing havoc with the development and will do his best to block it if elected.

Hopefully tomorrow will be more interesting.

The future of the Bay is in good hands; Officer Xavier will keep its streets clean. Xave is so hot-headed that criminals will cower in fear. He went mental when he heard Stu had yet again taken up his mantle as Sasha Basha.

The health of the Bay is in question, though; soon the Walker family could be doctorless. Sid is up on charges, and Dex wants to be an engineer.

I was happy to see Romeo in a suit. He’s no natural salesman, though, trying to close the deal by using his surfie skills.

Elijah’s been kicked out of Leah’s Home for Ragamuffins now that Ruby is back. She didn’t visit a hairdresser in The City.

Ruby (-Casey) + Morag + the city = a barrel of laughs. She’s out on her own in the big smoke, well, almost on her own. She’s living with Morag in the city and living it up, doing her best to forget about Charlie and move on. Moving on included dumping Casey when he went to visit. She couldn’t even look at him, the poor cratur.

But one heart to heart from Morag and all that changed, she returned to the bay and moved back in with Leah. Morag reckons she needs to sort her head out before she moves on with her life.

Boozed up Brax is hitting rock bottom. He has been given the run around by the new criminal overlord Geoffrey and was made a fool of by trying to tip the cops off about his booze stash. For his next trick, he tried to burn down Angelo’s only for Leah to stop him at the last moment. She subsequently brought him home and watched him puke everywhere. Could have been worse I suppose, he could have chucked up on her like she did on Roman.

Brax is back and taking no nonsense. A smart remark from Heath about Charlie earned him a swift headbutt and a talking-to. Heath also managed to fall foul of Geoffrey, the local mobster, so now it’s down to Brax to clean up that mess too. He should round up The Boyz and start a topless manoeuvre.

Saint Irene arose from her sickbed to sort out the squabbling Scott sisters. It didn’t work though, April had a through-the-window visit from Heath before he disappeared down the coast.

In a mad storyline, Elijah is moving into Leah’s for a week as she’s not comfortable living in a House of Death. How long until he pulls his holy moves on the flustered chef?

What do you do in small town Australia if you have a medical degree but no job? Hang around the diner in your track suit apparently. Then he went to the hospital and tried to take over Irene’s treatment. Maybe he should get a job as a pizza delivery boy for Angelo’s.

Irene has to take it handy now because of her heart problems. Do you think she’ll listen? I would imagine that she’ll be back in the diner in no time.

Heath and Dex had a bit of a face off in the surf club. That’s a fight I’d like to see but blink and you’d miss it. Dex had a bit of a heart to heart with April and told her that he hadn’t got it on with Dallas. There was hints of rapprochement there but then April met Heath on the beech and went back to his place for more sexiness. Then her conscience pricked her as she’d promised Bianca she’d stay away from him. Heath made do with his playstation, what age is he supposed to be?

So Brax and Casey went up the coast for a surf but where is Ruby gone? Did she go to the city on her own? She didn’t have any sort of going away do. Maybe she’s concentrating on her music career, recording a follow up single to “kisses hurt so much”.

In that episode, Irene was in rude health, and decided to take a solo trip on the glittering waters of the Bay. Her erstwhile beau, Lou, taught her the tricks of the nautical trade before he met his maritime end. This more recent trip didn’t turn out well for Irene; she keeled over as soon as she left dry land. Another one in the long list of Summer Bay leisure-trip disasters.

Poor Dex. He saw April leave Heath’s house early in the morning, and correctly presumed there was next-level-visiting going on. He promptly called to Dallas in the surf club, and offered himself up to her. Unimpressed, she soon forgave Dex and told him she likes him lots and lots.

Poor April. She hung around Heath so much that he was forced to tell her that he only gave her a poke in order to get back at Bianca. Sound man.

Someone made a reference to Xavier going to Police Academy. Hahahahaha. I hope they have a medical wing at the training facility.

Selina arrived in the bay with a bad attitude and a bad mother. She ditched them both and changed her ways to become a shining light of goodness by the time she left. She moved in with Irene and liked it so much that she even adopted her name.

Selina met a boy called Jesse. He was a bit of a bad boy but that wasn’t a problem for Selina. Selina was a great one for leading fellas up the stairs by the hand in Irene’s house which usually meant that they were about to take it to the next level. That happened quite a few times. She pioneered that move but many others have taken up that torch since then, including Gypsy, Martha and Nicole.

As well as dating Jessie, she also went out with Jack Wilson. Jack, like Selina, was a bit of a tearaway but had a good heart, don’t they all? Selina also had a fling with Damian, Irene’s son, which led to a teen pregnancy. She miscarried in the school which was pretty traumatic event for her.

She had many advertures during her time in the bay, which included joining a cult led by Saul. Saul had a powerful effect on Selina and became a bit obsessed with her. She overcame his brainwashing after her friends intervened but that wasn’t enough for Saul and he kidnapped her not once, not twice but three times. Persistance sometimes pays off but not in this case, he got shot to bits by the cops.

Selina had a thing for Stephen Matheson, one of the original cast members who made a return as an adult. This would have been fine except for the fact that he was Selina’s teacher. The broke off their illicit affair and he left town but she still harboured feelings for him when she was going out with Jesse. When she bumped into Stevo again, she couldn’t deny her feelings for him. They agreed to get married and managed to go through with it at the second attempt, the first was a non-starter what with all the kidnapping and shooting. The course of true love never did run smooth.

Charlie’s funeral went off without a hitch, well there was the small problem of her boyfriend not being there. Brax couldn’t make it as he was busy lashing into the old sea dog rum in Angelo’s. He did turn up to Leah’s later to go off at Ruby for turning off the life support machine. Ruby hit back by saying how Brax coming into Charlie’s life was the worst thing to ever happen to her. Ouch. She did have a point though, he cost Charlie a lot.

Morag turned up for the funeral and told Ruby how proud of her she was. Rubes is still heading to the city with Casey, wait scratch that, he’s not going now. He was disturbed by Brax’s diatribe and said he had to stay in the bay for his bro. Rubes is going to be flying solo in the city.

Sasha and Xav seem to be getting on well these days. I know she’s 15 but what age is he now, 18? I wonder what he’s going to do next? He had talked about going backpacking round the world for a year which would be cool but it’s hard to see what other careers might be open to him. Maybe he could turn evil and take over the boys who’ve lacked leadership since Brax took early retirement. Otherwise he’ll have to settle for a job in the surf club, Angelo’s or the bait shop.There aren’t many options for a young male school leaver in the bay.